Cusp of a New Year

I can't believe another year is almost over! A few updates because we always seem to changing something with our plans.  
Work is work.  It's been full of up and downs, just like any other job.  I do enjoy the work but I have another evaluation in a couple of months which are stressing me out if I'd have to admit it.  I was trained in July and then lately I have been having monthly mentor calls, which have been going well, but in a couple of months I will have person come and sit in on my work for two days! ack!  Had a lot of changes at work in personnel and all.  My "boss" has changed three times, I have a new coworker psychologist which I feel we have a good working relationship, and we had another social worker hired but he quit :(. They are suppose to be hiring someone else but so far no one has been hired.  So technically we are low manned so we are focusing our work on the active duty members.  So things are moving along.

On my balcony, with Fremont St behind me

Looking out towards Red Rock

Joe got a job!  A good paying job, hell he's getting more than me LOL. But it's in Albuquerque NM :(. So we are doing the separate thing for a wee bit.  Thus I moved to a small place in the Arts District which is pretty nice and Joe found himself a similar place downtown ABQ.  Even though neither one of us is happy about this new living arrangement we are focusing on the gains we will get from it.  Our bills will get paid quicker, Joe will keep his sanity, we can get our health and fitness back on track, and when we do visit with one another our time will be more intentional.  

Joe came out for Thanksgiving and we had a relaxing time catching up with each other and doing whatever came up.  One good thing about Vegas is that it NEVER sleeps and you can always find some place that is open!

Playing tourist at the Neon Museum!  

Seven Magic Mountains

Headache and Self Care

Today is Tuesday and tomorrow I am taking a mental health day for which I am grateful for due to having a splitting headache for the better part of the day :(
Since the New Year we've been working and doing our thing.  We've had a few date nights enjoying the local area.  We've been busy but not terribly busy.  We enjoy the weekends that are never long enough but we do what we can!

A quick weekend away is scheduled for next weekend...a music festival with beer of course :P. It should be a good time to get away from here for a little staycation near by! 
Joe is enjoying his new job and adapting to the civilian way of work having to have had to hire and fire someone in about a couple of weeks of starting and is in the midst of hiring two more people.  Although I am working in a civilian function for the government there are tons of similarities between my work environment and being military.  Which adds to my work stress.

Work is full of typical work stressors along with the stressors that come with this type of work.  The balance of meeting the client where they are at but also aiding them in finding their motivation to move forward.  
The work of acknowledging that I will not always be the person that will help them forward and to be accepting of that.  I am human also and sometimes there is not that therapeutic connection that is needed for someone to be vulnerable to fully engage in therapy.  Some days it's a struggle to fully believe that and not beat myself up for not meeting my high expectations or expectations that I think others have for me.

My work is fulfilling, draining, amazing, and frustrating all in one day.  I get home and I'm mentally stressed and exhausted.  It's important for me to be tuned into my self and also make myself a priority...thus my mental health day tomorrow and my goal for taking at least one day a month off!
I'm so looking forward to unplugging tomorrow!

Sliding into 2018 with sunshine and ice

Work is starting to pick up.  I have a schedule and am building a client load.  Slowly but surely things are moving forward at work.  I had a ego boost the other day...a client did an intake with another therapist and he called back requesting someone else due to she reminding him of his mom.  This therapist was worried I also would remind him of his mom because we look a like but we met and there was more too it and he will be staying with me for therapy.  Little silent victories that show me I am decent at my job.  As a therapist it is so important not to make snap judgments.  If you think about one's self, I am complex and things are never as straightforward as I may express...so why would I think a client in front of me is as simple in regards to their struggles?!  We are human beings and we do judge others, even therapist, but as a therapist part of our education is acknowledging what comes up for us but then letting it go so we may be open for our clients.  We can't help others if we are constrained by our own judgments and thoughts.

I have found that when I have a morning meditation it is helpful for me to be more present throughout the day. I go for days when I spend 10min a morning in a practice but things get hectic or I choose sleep over getting up in time to add that to my morning.  So I bought some journals to help me write stuff down.  Since receiving "The Sunrise Manifesto" I've been using it daily in the morning, at most it takes 5 and if I want to write more maybe 10 minutes out of my morning.  So the time is the same but with this journal I feel more productive in that action.  Every day is just 2 pages.  There are specific questions or comments to address on one page and the other page is for you to brain dump!  So far I'm loving it and am noticing the difference in my day to day.  The 10 minutes of guided meditation is good also, but this appears to be easier to maintain and keep doing!
We've been getting out and about on the weekends, mostly.  This past weekend we checked out the Anchorage Museum and it was awesome.  All the information about the native tribes was overwhelming!  They also had some fun exhibits for us to play around with so it was a good time getting out in the limited day light we have.

We bought tickets to go North to Fairbanks via the train!  We are exited about this!  Seeing more of AK and hopefully the Northern Lights while we are there!  More to come on that adventure.

The local scenery!

This past weekend the weather was beautiful!  Sunny and clear.  On Saturday we drove down to Alyeska which reminded me of the ski communities in Salt Lake City, UT.  It was a beautiful drive on AK-1/Seward Highway along Turnagain Arm.  We were surrounded by mountains and water! Along that dive there were numerous pull outs to go hiking and to take pictures, and our friends mentioned a few that are good.   Our friends also mentioned that Seward Highway is one of the most dangerous roads in the U.S. for fatalities.  It's not the animals but the people doing stupid crap, trying to pass in a no passing area etc. :(. But it's good to know the next time we are traveling on that road.  
What is funny to me is that I was here May 2010 with the Hawaii Air National Guard and was on that same road.  We even went to Alyeska and I got a similar photo!  I never thought, living in Hawaii, that I would be eventually living in Alaska!  Life is crazy!

We oooh and aaah'd our way to Girdwood and made it to the resort and figured since it was such a beautiful day we'd take the tram up to the top.  The tram takes you up 2,300 ft up the mountain!  Talk about views!  We climbed a little higher for some pictures and the view before heading down.  Back nestled in the mountains are 7 glaciers!  
I saw a corgi up there :). Sami is keeping an eye on us via her connections :P

After a little hike and fresh air we needed some food and stopped at the Girdwood tap house.  They had a food truck that sold crepes (not totally in the mood for that) but we got a drink, sat outside, enjoyed the view and ignored conversations around us.  The conversations were not bad but it seems that in ritzy areas of ski resorts, there is a different vibe.  We enjoyed the area, the drinks, the view and headed back into town for an early dinner.  
It was an awesome day!  
On Sunday, Joe spent the morning working on his resume stuff for Monday (today) an then we went over to some friends house for food and football!  

A successfully good weekend I must say!

this is the "lake" our place is on :)

I have two weeks of "vacation" left via Joe and then it's back to the working and being an "adult".  Joe is going to be doing an informational interview  this morning (Monday) and fingers crossed he has a job also!  We still don't have our furniture but we adapt well and hopefully early this week we will get an update on that!  I can't wait for a real bed!

This afternoon we have our "fit test" at the gym we signed up with, The Alaska Club.  That should be interesting and scary! But we both need to get back into being fit and healthy so we can do all this stuff we want to here in Alaska!!!

Alaskan residents

So we survived the Alaska DMV.  Actually there wasn't much to survive.  It's a well run machine and I didn't even have a chance to sit in an uncomfortable plastic chair!  We both got our AK drivers license.  I will go back and do the license plate later when I have my military documents (discounts for veterans).  
After that pleasant experience and a light lunch we checked out the gym close to our home and became members!  It's big!  It has an indoor pool, Joe wants to do laps, different workout classes...everything you'd want in a gym and more!  They have a lounge for relaxing and getting snacks :P. 
I checked in with my work and hopefully will hear something in about a week!  Fingers crossed.  Joe mentioned there is a reason for everything and since we don't have our household goods yet, maybe that is what is lining up.  We get our household stuff, get somewhat settled, and I start my job!  We will see.  Joe has applied for a few jobs and as of right now, no bites.
I went out on my own a little bit.  Got a massage, which was so needed... after a long road trip and sleeping on an air mattress.  Ugh I hate that thing already but I guess it's better than sleeping on the floor.  
I am a little surprised that with all of our downtime we are good.  My relationship with Joe routinely surprises me.  We can share space without being intrusive.  We give each other space when needed and support each other's individual needs.  I have had moments where I was in a sit and wait, similar to now, and it was torturous and seemed to last forever.  I was worried about things and irritable.  Not now, there are things that irritate me (air mattress) but that is it.  The days go by with a normal rhythm and we handle things and continue to find joy and happiness every day!

Work and the practice of not worrying....

I blog just to blog....not sure who randomly reads this and I don't give it much mind but it's a place for me to get stuff out there.  I use to be a big journaler but that has gone by the wayside and I tend to blog when I feel the journal urge.
Work is going well.  My hours fluctuate being PRN, I'm finding my therapy groove, getting use to coworkers (gotta have THAT one that you don't gel with....figured out who that is), and am being tested therapeutically with clients.
We had a young guy come in with severe OCD, he got trapped flushing his toilet for 7 hours at one time just to give a picture.  I am one of the "youngest" therapist on staff having graduated last year and guess who got him?! Yours truly!   I will say this kid is a hard worker and it has helped me out tremendously!  I have guided him, challenged him, and we are looking at discharging him this coming week :)  I can do this therapy thing! I still feel as if I'm "winging" it with some of the clients but it's working and they are getting better.  My "winging" it comes with education and some people knowledge so it's not a complete shot in the dark! LOL

As for the not worry aspect... I had a mammogram last week, and got a call back for more xrays.  The tech told me it's normal to get called back with the first one because they need to be able to compare images.  Well, not only did I have to get more pictures taken, I needed an ultrasound on both breast :( and now comes a needle biopsy.  This news was given to me three days ago.  Now I can freak the fuck out OR take it for what it is...more testing is needed as there is just enough chance of it being nothing as it being something.  Me getting into a funk, stressing, and putting my life on hold waiting for the next step is not going to change or fix anything.  So I wait for the call from the general surgeon to set up my biopsy appointment.  I am grateful that this was done now, I turn 40 in August and that's when I'd be due but the doc figured we'd just get it out of the way since I was getting an physical anyway.  When the nurse told me about the results, he asked some questions because "these things just don't spring up overnight".  I haven't had any "symptoms" and nothing was noticed during my annual exams.  I will admit I don't do regular self exams but knowing where the lumps are that are in question...I still can't find them when I look for them :(  I catch myself, well... my mind, starting to jump on the runaway train of worry but then I stop and breath.  I don't know anything for certain except I need more testing so we wait... I go to work and do what I can, focus on the now, and when the call comes I'll address things as they come.

Part 2 Advocare and onward to my "L"

The cleanse portion is over, now it's on to the next phase... the "max phase".  The three products that we are now taking are to "work together to provide you with sustained energy, appetite control, core nutrition and overall wellness".  I am grateful that the first day of this new phase I am off of work, so I can see how this will play out over the day.  There is more things to take, with some being required to be taken 30 minutes prior to eating.  So again....back to time management :P  

We've been doing pretty well with the clean eating, only a couple of setbacks ( I blame the weekend :P ).  Now that I'm over that blasted head cold I can incorporate working out now also.  Yesterday morning was the first day I managed to make it to the gym here at our apartment.  Nothing like working out at 5 am and then working until 6pm at night! Long day! ugh  So with this new max phase we will see how my energy and everything else goes!

As mentioned, I've been working pretty steady with long days trying to keep my had above water with figuring out how to do everything.  Rumor has it another PRN therapist has been hired and he's prior AF so that should be good.  Plus, currently all the therapist are females so the docs (who are male) are probably glad to get another male in the ranks.

My meeting with the potential supervisor went well so I have secured that and now I'm applying to get my intern license. One more step closer to my "L".  Now a hangup is getting my NGB22 which shows my military history/separation.  Apparently a retirement order doesn't work :(  So I'm making phone calls, leaving messages, and trying to get that handled.  Fun times!

One thing about living here is that there is always something to do here!  This past weekend we attended Unwined which I have described as speed wine tasting.  We tried a handful of wines and walked away with a nice one that supports military members!  Since it was at Pier Park, we walked over and had dinner at Hofbrau Beer Garden and then over to Tootsies for a couple of drinks and some people watching!  We took it easy on Saturday and then took in a Bluegrass and Folk Music Festival which was very relaxing.  It was at a park on the water.  Sunday was a lazy day, I took care of things and Joe went for a ride and then that evening we took a ride together.  We stopped at had salads at Longhorn Steakhouse and the manger, David, hooked us up with a free desert!  We couldn't be rude and it was yummy.  On the way out we talked with David some more, about the area...he gave us some local hot spot recommendations.  People are friendly and welcoming here and we are enjoying it here immensely! On Wednesday the big bike week is started so this weekend we'll probably check that out...and who knows what else. Unfortunately I'm working on Sunday :( 

My parents will be here next week so that should be interesting :P  I'll work every other day next week while they are here so they can have some free time in the area and then we'll have days to do stuff together.  I think that is why I'm working Sunday... since I have a weird schedule next week.  

Two Weeks to Go!

     Only a couple of more weeks until my first year in the MSW program is over!  I cannot believe that I'm practically half way through the program.  I ended with my practicum the other week.  I was happy to end my time there.  It was a good experience but I was ready to be done.  Next year I'll be working at the Vet Center with combat vets.  I'm excited for the experience but I realize that it will probably be harder for me than this first year.  I had a few interviews for next year's practicum.  I interviewed at the prison, which would have been an amazing experience (but both Shane and my Dad were hoping it wouldn't pan out), the Vet Center, and the VA.  I never heard back from the prison but the Vet Center called me back the very next day after the interview!  I thought it was a great interview because they had a dog there!  I was able to sit there for the first half of the interview petting this sweet dog!  I think that should be a requirement for interviews ;)  The interview at the VA went well too, even though there was no dog.  They actually called me back and offered me a slot but I decided the Vet Center would be a better fit.  I struggled with the decision but after talking to some people that work at the VA, they even said I made a good decision!  The VA is so BIG, and the red tape.... I want to be able to learn and grow in this practicum.  I am worried about showing up, shadowing another therapist and then sent on my own way like I was this first year.  I feel that the Vet Center will be more intimate of a learning experience!  Plus the intern office had a window ;)
     During the summer I'll be working with my guard unit.  Our programs need work and I have an opportunity to get orders.  We are in a transition and we are bringing online a new inspection program so I'll be busy.  It will be good and the pay will be nice.  The practicum I just left offered a job and talked to me about working with them but the pay won't be nearly as much as doing orders!
     Shane and I have some big changes ahead of us!  Shane is retiring in June and around that same time we are moving downtown SLC.  I'll be close to next year's practicum and school.  We are excited.  We are close to the park where they do the big farmer's market and Shane's excited to be near Squatters :P  We have a lot of downsizing to do and get the house on the market.  Codi recently moved out, which was exciting for him but at the same time an adjustment.  





     

Overwhelmed...

I left my MSW orientation feeling completely overwhelmed, not so much for the school aspect but the internship aspect!  There is just a lot to keep in mind and focus on.  I don't foresee myself having much of a life these next two years :(

I did have a lot of opportunities to talk with others in the program.  There is a broad rang of ages in it so that's nice, and it seems as if a majority of the older students have been working in the field somewhat already.  The orientation was nice but it would have been good if it was done earlier than the Friday before the semester started.  They talked about financial stuff and the afternoon was all about our internship.  A lot of information that could have been helpful prior to even doing an interview.
I need to call my field manager tomorrow and get a schedule set up, and I have a list of questions for him and we need to go over my requirements for the year to ensure we hit all the key spots. I feel as if I'm over stressing this aspect and that it's not as intense as I'm feeling it is.  We will see huh?  My classes start on Tuesday and I already got a nice list of reading that I need to do before then.

There were student organizations that came and talked.  One of them was the Voices of Diversity which I'm totally interested in.  This year they are having talks on the human trafficking issue!  Unfortunately they are held every Tuesday night :(  Tuesday night is when I do my therapy and right now that is more important.  I'm still going to email the point of contact so I can be kept informed, maybe I'll be able to attend stuff here and there.

They also have the study abroad program!  They go to Mexico, Mongolia, and are trying to go to Ghana.  Unfortunately for me, their focus is on children (not sure about the Ghana trip yet) so I got all excited and then not so much.

In our orientation packet they had information on the U's recreation services at their gyms and stuff.   They do a ballet bare exercise class that I want to look into.  It will be a lot nicer if we were living down town, but next year :D

I'm still having issues with my vertigo :(  I'll have a good day and then a crappy day.  Yesterday was crappy.  I'm thinking the two hour massage did not help.  I had it in the morning and then came home and took a 4 hour nap, walked funny all day :(  I have a follow up on base this week so hopefully they can either confirm what is going on or clarify some stuff for me.

I'll probably be blogging more often as a break from school work ;)

da job

Alright.  I've been with this new job 4 weeks now.  Been through a hell week and things have calmed down a little.  I still don't have enough hours in the day and every day something new comes up that I have no clue how to deal with.  It's a learning process and I'm doing the best I can. Yes, I stress and worry about things that I didn't do or that I did.  I'm doing the best that I can.
This past week was hard.  Even though it was a short week every day I would wake up and lay in bed for over an hour trying to mentally give myself a pep talk to make it to work.  I went to work, I made it, I didn't die, and no one else was harmed but it was a mental struggle.

Here's my advice for any managers out there:
-do not hire someone during the busiest time of the year, PLAN AHEAD...I have to!
-do not hire someone during said busy time of year, train them for a couple of weeks and have their trainer leave for a week
-do not expect great customer service when you
a)do weird things to get the job in the first place to service it and then act surprised or frustrated that it's  not working how it should
b)take on so many customers that your customer service rep does not have the time during a normal work day to do quality service and spends 90% of the time just trying to handle the paperwork that goes with said customers
-don't give your workers the stink eye when they work over time to give good customer service and you have to pay them for the overtime
-don't say you'll handle something only to give it to the new person who is still trying to get caught up with all the other orders that were allocated

these are just some pointers.... just saying.

*warning* venting ahead

Alright, the other day I blogged about my new job.  How it was going well, good people... etc. etc.  
Well, it's still full of good people BUT going well...that's up for debate.
I've work with my trainer for the past few weeks.  She's been great but today she left for a week vacation.  She's shown me the basics but there is a lot of the job that wasn't covered and now it's CRAZY!
My hours that were discussed during my hiring was 8-5 and due to my military background I'm hard working and don't like leaving at the end of the day when there is tons of work to do.  
I need to switch my mindset.
I went in early today, I was there at 730 because I knew I'd have a ton of emails and stuff to do and with just me to do it.  I left work at 630! WHAT THE FUCK?!  Oh and today I got my first pay check and overtime is $7.50!  Is that normal?  No, it's not $7.50+my hourly rate just a blanket $7.50.  Again WTF?!
So, why did I work 11 hours today?  
Let me break down my job.  We have a salesperson, who is a nice guy, who goes out and accepts these military orders.  Once we get "awarded" these shipments we process said shipment.  Now this process isn't extremely easy.  If it's short notice we need to get approval from our big whatever, it's a TAG request. Actually since it's peak move season everything has to go through TAG.  If it's approved we can go forward with the registration and process said order and I won't go through all those steps.  Let me just say it's not one step, it involves a few databases so it's not a minute job.  If TAG rejects... well that's a whole other story.  Now, by it's self not a big process but when you multiply this process by over 20 orders in one day it gets mind boggling.  OH did I mention I am answering phones, updated weights of shipments, handling mover calls that have questions, trying to get shipments released out non temp storage, send out paperwork to origin agents blah blah fuckn blah!
I cannot even TELL you the number of emails I get in one day!  Oh and we were suppose to have the acceptance of these orders blacked out (so we don't accept them) but there was a problem and in a course of one day we get up to 20 awarded shipments that we have to handle.... on top of everything else.  Oh and once we get the shipment we are the move coordinators so that means we are calling the customer before the move, during the move, and after the move at a minimum.  We have to call our agents that are packing the customer, and hauling the customer.  Driver's are calling us for confirmation numbers to put goods in storage, to deliver to the customer, or to give us weights.  Origin agents are asking for paperwork and I have at least 3 data bases that I am updating for each order!  
REALLY? $7.50 overtime?!  


Oh.... the people are nice :P


update: figured out the over time business.  It's all good and yes this was a vent with a bottle of wine.  Tomorrow is monday, it's a new day and I'm going to do my best like I always do.  I will keep a good attitude and take it one day at  a time. :P