not going to miss January

January has not been nice to me.  Prior to New Years I had a cough, a throat tickle that just lingered.  After the 1st it grew into a head cold that progressively got worse no matter what I did or medications I tried.  Around 14 Jan my teeth started to hurt with all of my sinus pressure so it was off to the urgent care to get some prescription meds.... oh and during this time is when I let Ms. Sami go :(  

With steroids and antibiotics on board my head cold started to clear up! YEAH!  I started to feel better to the point of that I starting to work out!  On the 18th I did some elliptical work and the next day did a PiYo workout.  I was on the upswing of a rough January and then it felt like I got hit by a Mac truck!  

I was sore, I knew I would be due to working out, but this was abnormal.  It progressively got worse on the 20th.  My whole body ached, my head was pounding, and I was running a slight fever.  I laid on the couch with a cool compress on my head and Joe asked "do we need to go to the ER", no.... let me make it through the night and see how I feel in the morning. He was concerned but respected what I said...and after I recovered he told me that I scared the shit out him that night :(  Thursday morning I woke up, still weak and in pain.  I slowly got up and when I looked in the mirror it looked as if I had a severe sunburn.  I had a solid rash from my neck down...I was having an allergic reaction to the medications.
I asked Joe to take me to the ER and off we went.  
Years ago I had a similar reaction to amoxicillin, so now I can add sulfa drugs to my "allergies" :(  I'm running out of drugs to utilize when I'm feeling sick :(
I'm on round two of steroids in one month and I'm not a fan. I'm grateful that they are clearing up my stuff, but I feel jittery and "off".  

In the midst of this crazy month for me my outlook and presence is still happy!  I have noticed it and I'm amazed with it.  This month has been a struggle, and there are things that I haven't listed here that are more of an emotional struggle with some family members, but my "practice" of being present, of being honest about my feelings and needs with Joe, being open to him when he does the same thing to me, accepting things, not judging or overanalyzing things, has given me a sense of contentment and peace that has lifted weight from my soul.  

My work is a place of fulfillment and frustrations, just like anyone's job, but I am grateful for this opportunity and I am finding my place in the workplace.  My initial job evaluation went well.  I have days where I feel I am doing well with my clients and other days where I feel that I'm missing the mark but I'm still growing, and always will, as a therapist.  I had a meeting with the Red Cross the other night which was good, was able to meet some of the other volunteers and get a better understanding of what will be expected whenever I get called out to a fire.  Joe and I were invited to meet with some of my coworkers for dinner this past weekend and it was nice to be invited and to see people outside of work :)  and yesterday I was invited to a Pampered Chef party.  Yes it's dorky but being new to a place, new people, it's hard to feel like you belong so it feels good that they feel like they can invite me now to functions outside of work!

Driving home yesterday after the sun was setting and driving over the bridge to the PCB side I smiled :)  I am blessed in this life and I hope I can share that with others!