not going to miss January

January has not been nice to me.  Prior to New Years I had a cough, a throat tickle that just lingered.  After the 1st it grew into a head cold that progressively got worse no matter what I did or medications I tried.  Around 14 Jan my teeth started to hurt with all of my sinus pressure so it was off to the urgent care to get some prescription meds.... oh and during this time is when I let Ms. Sami go :(  

With steroids and antibiotics on board my head cold started to clear up! YEAH!  I started to feel better to the point of that I starting to work out!  On the 18th I did some elliptical work and the next day did a PiYo workout.  I was on the upswing of a rough January and then it felt like I got hit by a Mac truck!  

I was sore, I knew I would be due to working out, but this was abnormal.  It progressively got worse on the 20th.  My whole body ached, my head was pounding, and I was running a slight fever.  I laid on the couch with a cool compress on my head and Joe asked "do we need to go to the ER", no.... let me make it through the night and see how I feel in the morning. He was concerned but respected what I said...and after I recovered he told me that I scared the shit out him that night :(  Thursday morning I woke up, still weak and in pain.  I slowly got up and when I looked in the mirror it looked as if I had a severe sunburn.  I had a solid rash from my neck down...I was having an allergic reaction to the medications.
I asked Joe to take me to the ER and off we went.  
Years ago I had a similar reaction to amoxicillin, so now I can add sulfa drugs to my "allergies" :(  I'm running out of drugs to utilize when I'm feeling sick :(
I'm on round two of steroids in one month and I'm not a fan. I'm grateful that they are clearing up my stuff, but I feel jittery and "off".  

In the midst of this crazy month for me my outlook and presence is still happy!  I have noticed it and I'm amazed with it.  This month has been a struggle, and there are things that I haven't listed here that are more of an emotional struggle with some family members, but my "practice" of being present, of being honest about my feelings and needs with Joe, being open to him when he does the same thing to me, accepting things, not judging or overanalyzing things, has given me a sense of contentment and peace that has lifted weight from my soul.  

My work is a place of fulfillment and frustrations, just like anyone's job, but I am grateful for this opportunity and I am finding my place in the workplace.  My initial job evaluation went well.  I have days where I feel I am doing well with my clients and other days where I feel that I'm missing the mark but I'm still growing, and always will, as a therapist.  I had a meeting with the Red Cross the other night which was good, was able to meet some of the other volunteers and get a better understanding of what will be expected whenever I get called out to a fire.  Joe and I were invited to meet with some of my coworkers for dinner this past weekend and it was nice to be invited and to see people outside of work :)  and yesterday I was invited to a Pampered Chef party.  Yes it's dorky but being new to a place, new people, it's hard to feel like you belong so it feels good that they feel like they can invite me now to functions outside of work!

Driving home yesterday after the sun was setting and driving over the bridge to the PCB side I smiled :)  I am blessed in this life and I hope I can share that with others!

Busy Judged Bee!

Next month, this time we will be in Florida!  WOW!  This month has flown by with my trips up the east coast and more trips to squeeze in prior to moving!  Craziness.... 
Baltimore with Natalie was fun!  I had some firsts: raw oysters, cigar, and hookah!  We had a random night downtown where we just did and went where the night took us!  That's the way to experience randomness of a city :D

on the water taxi with downtown behind us

at our raw oyster place of the night! delish!

To add to the business of moving, Joe will be going to PA this friday to pick up his motorcycle...which will be more comfortable for me to ride compared to his current one! Sunday we turn around and drive to Panama City.  I have a job interview (high five) and we will check out apartments before heading back home where we promptly turn around and head out for our already planned visit of the NC mountains!  

I may have two interviews on Monday in FL, I need to call this lady back.... ugh  This second job isn't what I want to do but I do want a job and it's in my social worker realm.  It will be good interview experience for me even if I don't get or take the job.   I've been in NC and in this area for about 4 months, I've gotten NO bites on anything :(  but I'm not even in FL and I have two interviews.  There is a reason for everything!  Additionally, a Chief Joe knows has a daughter in the same field working in that area and I'm going to forward my resume her way and she's going to check out some areas for me!  WOW  Things like that remind me of how the military use to be back when I first joined in, more family and support!

It's amazing how half of the day can be negative and draining and then things can quickly turn around.  Yesterday evening is when the Chief connect happened.  Earlier that day I was judged while in Lowe's.  :(

I am not anti religion, I am anti organized religion especially if you are going to use your religion to tell me how I'm suppose to live my life!  I'm in Lowe's looking for something specific and an older gentlemen, who works there, strikes up a conversation with me and I ask him for assistance.  I was feeling good, just got my retired I.D. card!  Well, the  normal course of conversation he asked if I had any kids and I told him no, but I do have furkids ;) Next thing I know I'm being told that it's "god's will" that I have children to populate the earth. To which I pointed out that many others are populating the earth just fine and by me not having children will  not cause any imbalances.  He then said that "it's to impart wisdom" which I can do without birthing a child, I can help those in need through my work and my good deeds. Then he talked about when I'm older, having kids will ensure I'm taking care of.... first off that is NOT a guarantee and if I'm having children as a retirement policy that is the wrong reason to do that.   Then it was that god wants me to pass down my specific genetic code.  Ummm  I have not read the bible cover to cover but I do not think that god mentions genetic code anywhere in the writings.  :P  I went into Lowe's for an electrical outlet plate and I get questioned by a random man on MY life choices!  Do guys have these conversations? Would a male worker in Lowe's ask a male customer if he has kids and if not, well.... that's YOUR job to pass down your specific genetic code.  I need to work on my responses, after the initial question of "do you have kids"...if it progresses, I'm going to start questioning them.  

Do you ask all your customers about why or why not they have kids?

Do you tell them WHY they should have kids via "god's word"?

I don't know you, so I feel no need to discuss my personal life with a random man so thank you for your assistance.

Grrrrr

I was polite and didn't question his belief system, just responded to his reasons as to why I didn't feel the need to procreate.  I was respectful of his views and didn't condensed him, although he looked at me as if I was a silly "lost" girl, a female who had lost her way.... a female who had grown horns as soon as I said I am not having children.  If I said I couldn't have children as compared to a I am choosing not to, his reaction would have been COMPLETELY different.   

I left Lowe's without a wall plate AND feeling irritated and pissed.  Got home and ordered the wall plate off of Amazon, no judgement there!