Work and the practice of not worrying....

I blog just to blog....not sure who randomly reads this and I don't give it much mind but it's a place for me to get stuff out there.  I use to be a big journaler but that has gone by the wayside and I tend to blog when I feel the journal urge.
Work is going well.  My hours fluctuate being PRN, I'm finding my therapy groove, getting use to coworkers (gotta have THAT one that you don't gel with....figured out who that is), and am being tested therapeutically with clients.
We had a young guy come in with severe OCD, he got trapped flushing his toilet for 7 hours at one time just to give a picture.  I am one of the "youngest" therapist on staff having graduated last year and guess who got him?! Yours truly!   I will say this kid is a hard worker and it has helped me out tremendously!  I have guided him, challenged him, and we are looking at discharging him this coming week :)  I can do this therapy thing! I still feel as if I'm "winging" it with some of the clients but it's working and they are getting better.  My "winging" it comes with education and some people knowledge so it's not a complete shot in the dark! LOL

As for the not worry aspect... I had a mammogram last week, and got a call back for more xrays.  The tech told me it's normal to get called back with the first one because they need to be able to compare images.  Well, not only did I have to get more pictures taken, I needed an ultrasound on both breast :( and now comes a needle biopsy.  This news was given to me three days ago.  Now I can freak the fuck out OR take it for what it is...more testing is needed as there is just enough chance of it being nothing as it being something.  Me getting into a funk, stressing, and putting my life on hold waiting for the next step is not going to change or fix anything.  So I wait for the call from the general surgeon to set up my biopsy appointment.  I am grateful that this was done now, I turn 40 in August and that's when I'd be due but the doc figured we'd just get it out of the way since I was getting an physical anyway.  When the nurse told me about the results, he asked some questions because "these things just don't spring up overnight".  I haven't had any "symptoms" and nothing was noticed during my annual exams.  I will admit I don't do regular self exams but knowing where the lumps are that are in question...I still can't find them when I look for them :(  I catch myself, well... my mind, starting to jump on the runaway train of worry but then I stop and breath.  I don't know anything for certain except I need more testing so we wait... I go to work and do what I can, focus on the now, and when the call comes I'll address things as they come.

Overwhelmed...

I left my MSW orientation feeling completely overwhelmed, not so much for the school aspect but the internship aspect!  There is just a lot to keep in mind and focus on.  I don't foresee myself having much of a life these next two years :(

I did have a lot of opportunities to talk with others in the program.  There is a broad rang of ages in it so that's nice, and it seems as if a majority of the older students have been working in the field somewhat already.  The orientation was nice but it would have been good if it was done earlier than the Friday before the semester started.  They talked about financial stuff and the afternoon was all about our internship.  A lot of information that could have been helpful prior to even doing an interview.
I need to call my field manager tomorrow and get a schedule set up, and I have a list of questions for him and we need to go over my requirements for the year to ensure we hit all the key spots. I feel as if I'm over stressing this aspect and that it's not as intense as I'm feeling it is.  We will see huh?  My classes start on Tuesday and I already got a nice list of reading that I need to do before then.

There were student organizations that came and talked.  One of them was the Voices of Diversity which I'm totally interested in.  This year they are having talks on the human trafficking issue!  Unfortunately they are held every Tuesday night :(  Tuesday night is when I do my therapy and right now that is more important.  I'm still going to email the point of contact so I can be kept informed, maybe I'll be able to attend stuff here and there.

They also have the study abroad program!  They go to Mexico, Mongolia, and are trying to go to Ghana.  Unfortunately for me, their focus is on children (not sure about the Ghana trip yet) so I got all excited and then not so much.

In our orientation packet they had information on the U's recreation services at their gyms and stuff.   They do a ballet bare exercise class that I want to look into.  It will be a lot nicer if we were living down town, but next year :D

I'm still having issues with my vertigo :(  I'll have a good day and then a crappy day.  Yesterday was crappy.  I'm thinking the two hour massage did not help.  I had it in the morning and then came home and took a 4 hour nap, walked funny all day :(  I have a follow up on base this week so hopefully they can either confirm what is going on or clarify some stuff for me.

I'll probably be blogging more often as a break from school work ;)

Getting Ready... School Time

Tomorrow is orientation for my MSW.  I have most of my books, there are a couple of classes that haven't loaded anything yet.  I've tried to organize my desk so to cut down my clutter (you can't really tell though).  I don't feel ready!  I'm nervous about tomorrow, I'm nervous about my internship, I'm just nervous!
The Orientation is a full day event, with social time UGH!  I'm not good at the networking thing but looking at the schedule it seems to cover a lot of good stuff.  I also get my student ID!  Student discounts AND free public transit :D

My one week off has been busy.  I cleaned house from top to bottom.  Caught up on laundry and just tried to get everything to a good clean starting point so I just need to maintain while I'm going to school and working.  

In September we are going to Shane's niece's wedding and we need to board the furry kids:(  I checked out one place that seemed really nice, there is another place I want to check out and then I'll have a good idea where which one we want to use.  My friend offered to watch Sami during the time, so we just may need to board Tux.  It sucks either way but I don't want to leave him at home with just someone checking on him.  He needs more interaction and who wants to be alone for that long :(

I was pretty productive this week until yesterday.  On Monday when I woke up I had a strong bout of vertigo.  I thought it weird but it passed and I moved on with my day.  Yesterday the same thing but it lasted longer.  It passed and I went to my physical therapy appointment.  I was a little tired and off kilter but then I did this one back bend stretch and I thought I was going to pass out!  The vertigo came back with a vengeance.  I made it through my physical therapy session and walked home (it's right around the corner of our house).  While walking home I felt drunk, couldn't walk straight....so I called the base clinic.  They couldn't get me in but a nurse called me back later and told me to head over to a walk in urgent care clinic off base.  I went and was told I have a viral inner ear infection! WTF  I never even heard of having this issue, or anyone else.  I got some meds for the dizziness and was on my way.  I was told to take it easy and to not whip my head around in any direction.   Looking online I guess it's a somewhat normal thing.  It could last a couple of weeks or longer.  Since it's viral, they just give meds for the symptoms.  I woke up this morning with no major vertigo but can tell I'm still a little off when I'm walking.  I'm trying to be slow and deliberate with my movements, if I do turn a little fast I can tell there is an issue but it's no where as bad as it was yesterday morning.  Hopefully it won't linger for 2 weeks!  I still feel tired and fatigue so I'll be taking it easy again today.