Work and the practice of not worrying....

I blog just to blog....not sure who randomly reads this and I don't give it much mind but it's a place for me to get stuff out there.  I use to be a big journaler but that has gone by the wayside and I tend to blog when I feel the journal urge.
Work is going well.  My hours fluctuate being PRN, I'm finding my therapy groove, getting use to coworkers (gotta have THAT one that you don't gel with....figured out who that is), and am being tested therapeutically with clients.
We had a young guy come in with severe OCD, he got trapped flushing his toilet for 7 hours at one time just to give a picture.  I am one of the "youngest" therapist on staff having graduated last year and guess who got him?! Yours truly!   I will say this kid is a hard worker and it has helped me out tremendously!  I have guided him, challenged him, and we are looking at discharging him this coming week :)  I can do this therapy thing! I still feel as if I'm "winging" it with some of the clients but it's working and they are getting better.  My "winging" it comes with education and some people knowledge so it's not a complete shot in the dark! LOL

As for the not worry aspect... I had a mammogram last week, and got a call back for more xrays.  The tech told me it's normal to get called back with the first one because they need to be able to compare images.  Well, not only did I have to get more pictures taken, I needed an ultrasound on both breast :( and now comes a needle biopsy.  This news was given to me three days ago.  Now I can freak the fuck out OR take it for what it is...more testing is needed as there is just enough chance of it being nothing as it being something.  Me getting into a funk, stressing, and putting my life on hold waiting for the next step is not going to change or fix anything.  So I wait for the call from the general surgeon to set up my biopsy appointment.  I am grateful that this was done now, I turn 40 in August and that's when I'd be due but the doc figured we'd just get it out of the way since I was getting an physical anyway.  When the nurse told me about the results, he asked some questions because "these things just don't spring up overnight".  I haven't had any "symptoms" and nothing was noticed during my annual exams.  I will admit I don't do regular self exams but knowing where the lumps are that are in question...I still can't find them when I look for them :(  I catch myself, well... my mind, starting to jump on the runaway train of worry but then I stop and breath.  I don't know anything for certain except I need more testing so we wait... I go to work and do what I can, focus on the now, and when the call comes I'll address things as they come.

the little things

As I sit at my computer this Thursday morning, looking for jobs in Florida and drinking my coffee the rain is dumping outside.  There is something different about the storms here in NC, maybe it's being in the country but the rain is so refreshing out here.  Then again, I don't have to go out in it anywhere so that adds to the difference :P

Joe and I are planning another Richmond trip this weekend.  It's a short drive (3 hours) and our quick stop there just prompted us to want to spend more time there.  We've narrowed down our NC bucket list, the things we have to do prior to moving which due to his test date won't be toward the end of September.  We have some time, but next weekend I'll be up in Boston spending time with a friend so that will be so much fun!  Never been that far up the east coast :D

It's amazing how BIG little things are in relationships.  The other weekend we were getting a game plan together.  We talked about things to do prior to Saturday morning but we didn't narrow anything down and I had some stuff saved to my laptop.  We usually have our weekend coffee together at the table, talking about whatever and this morning I grabbed my laptop so we could narrow down some plans.  My battery started to die soon after getting started and Joe went and got my charger, but that's not the "little thing" that stuck with me.  After I sat down with my laptop and I was logging in he goes and gets my hair clip.  I tend to always have my hair twisted up around the house and when I'm on the computer it's a must :P  Not only did he get my hair clip he came back and twisted up my hair and clipped it.  All this without me saying a word except for thank you when he was done.  That is one of my memories that I will hold close to my heart, and will always give me a smile.  Appreciate the little things in your relationships, hold onto them more than any slight irritations that may happen.  :)

The summer months in the military brings a lot of going away shindigs and retirements.  I've gone to two retirements already and a few house parties that go along with that :P  This last one that I went to, Joe was the "MC" and he did a wonderful job.  The ceremony was in a hanger, so yes it was hot, but it went smoothly and everyone was happy especially the retiree and his family and that is what really counts.  One of Joe's friends was there to take pictures of the event and she hooked us up with some couple photos which we haven't gotten back yet :(  I'm excited to see the photos that she took. There was another photographer that took some photos and we kept a few of those.  Appreciating the little things is not only good advice for one's relationship but for life and general.  The military life has and is good to me and my connection to that life is never taken for granted.  Sitting in retirement ceremonies are touching to me and this one was  no different!

Joe liked this one because that's me :D

I took this one, and what a great backdrop for a retirement ceremony!

Joe and I both like this one.  The Airman's hands are rough and beat up holding something so dear to us all.  This is what the military is-a bunch of individuals working their butts off for this country!

Life is short, we age, we get comfortable but we can choose to keep living life to the fullest.  Taking in the little things, appreciating the beauty of a NC thunderstorm, that has now cleared by the way ;) We make choices every day in our lives, and I choose to be happy!

New Challenges

My week of being off of school and work is coming to an end.  I'm trying to get stuff done this week but at the same time enjoying some much needed down time.  I've been cleaning and did a little shopping for me :)  I'm not a big shopper so that can be stressful and frustrating but I bought some cute little things so that was nice.
Yesterday I went down to my next year's practicum sight.  Since it's a nonprofit and sort of with the VA there is a lot of paperwork, security clearance, special CAC card, to mention a few things.  I've been emailing with my new supervisor trying to get this stuff started prior to me going back to work so there isn't a delay when I want to start work in August.  Plus, I'll be doing a work study so I'll be getting a little bit of money (minimum wage little).  After a lot of back and forth we got a time and day settled upon and I went down to town yesterday.
Most of the time was BSing, and from what I can tell social workers are talkers.  I am going to school to talk story! ha ha ha  I am all for talking story but there are times when it's not feasible and at times it's hard for me to enjoy the talk.  Yesterday I had a headache all day, so it was hard for me to be engaged with the story talking.  Plus, the topic was politics.  These two, the current intern was there, were knowledgeable with the politics.  I'm not a big political person.  It is interesting to me, but I do not feel that I know all that I need to know to be a part of a conversation on politics.  I did learn a little something about my supervisor: he's in the Army guard or reserves, and he's done an LDS mission.  The other intern also has some history in the Army, couldn't tell if she was still in and I didn't feel the need to ask during the time I was there.  While I was there, and I was there for about 2 hours, I didn't see one client come in.  So, I'm going assume a lot of their clients come in later in the day (after normal work hours).  My last practicum was like that and it makes sense.  There was an older Army vet that volunteers there at the front desk.  I liked him, he was an helicopter pilot :), I would have enjoyed talking story with him for those 2 hours!  Anyhoo... I did not fill out any paperwork there!  Supervisor asked me a few questions, filled out a form, and emailed it off to whomever.  I was then given a name at the HR department at the VA that I needed to get into contact with.  I was heading to the VA anyway to apply for Voc Rehab so not a big deal.  But, while sitting there I was informed and told about how the HR dpt isn't the most helpful with the Vet Center, that I'm really going to have to nag them to ensure I get my stuff taken care of.  So with that impression off to the VA I go.
I check in at the front, tell the lady whom I'm there to see and she makes a phone call.  She'll be right up, this was about noon.  Ten minutest later the lady calls again and there is no answer so she "assumes" she's coming up to get me.  Another 10 minutes go by I ask if it's better if I just make an appointment.  She calls again and sends me back.  Apparently, this other lady thought I was coming back....
Anyhoo... the lady that I worked with was nice, helpful, and informative.  My time there wasn't too long and I left feeling like it was productive!  I thanked her for seeing me, since I was just a walk in, and off to the other VA area that was also quick and  productive.

Going from a military get things done mind frame a social worker mind frame can be a challenge.  Switching from talk talk talk to let's get down to work and handle this situation makes my head spin, especially when it happens like it did yesterday!  On Saturday it's back to boots and uniform.  I'll be working with my unit over the summer to help out.  I need to switch my view point, my attitude, and my mind frame.

Another thing that came up during talk story time was essential oils!  What the hell?  I guess I shouldn't be surprised due to Utah have two of the major EO sellers.  My supervisor's wife uses doTerra for some issues she has and he was talking about the overwhelming smell at night when she uses it (and how expensive it is).  The other intern talked about how people just dump them on when they just need a drop to do the trick (which is true).  I didn't say anything about my usage of doTerra.  Not that I was embarrassed but the vibe wasn't an open one.
I have noticed an improvement in my own well being in regards my usage of essential oils.  They have helped my well being mentally and physically.  If people become curious about who I am and how I maintain my health I will tell them about the oils but I don't jump in with "there is an oil for that" if someone starts to complain about something.  I do find it interesting that people are quick to "trust" an over the counter medication with all it's side effects but questions the benefits of essential oils that have been used since the beginning of time and are more natural than all the drugs that people are putting into their bodies!  We put a lot of faith into the white lab coats, and there are times where they need to help out but initially why not try a more natural remedy to aches, pains, illness, mental health, etc.?  If the oils don't work out, see that doctor!  It's been working for me, and since I've been using the oils, I haven't gone to the local pharmacy or to the doctor when I've gotten ill.