Birthday Month!

It seems like I'm posting after an adventure and we are having more and more of them :P  Last post was the beginning of July and here I am at the end of August.  I turned 40 this month and Joe turned 41!  He had a TDY to Atlantic City so I flew up there and had a long weekend checking out another new place.  Bonus was that I didn't even have to pay for the plane ticket!  It was a free trip with my credit card rewards....Happy Birthday to me!  
Even though we are always out and about we also have fun here in PCB.  There are days where we just need to get out of our apartment and enjoy the local places and music.  One of our regulars is Buster's Beer and Bait, and yes Buster has both of those things!  He has great outside seating and regular live bands!  

What's not to like :)  On weekends we will go for bike rides, out to a breakfast spot and then wherever we end up riding!  I'm all about exercising that doesn't feel like exercise! 

We enjoyed Atlantic City but we were also sadden by how run down it was.  It still had it's charm but we could see how amazing it use to be.  Talking to a local barista he said it's due to casinos being everywhere nowadays and not just Vegas, Reno, and Atlantic City...and of course politics :(  I got there early afternoon and once we checked in we did a walk around and figured out a show to see.  Ended up seeing a very good burlesque show after some tapas.  The next day it was a pool day and we scored a cabana platform (which is normal $75) for free!  Nothing like laying around a rooftop pool on couches drinking mojitos!  We walked the boardwalk that night, stopping where ever for drinks, hookah, food.... and good people watching!  

Second time doing hookah!  First time was in Baltimore with my girl Natalie!  This time we sat on the boardwalk, had drinks, and watched the city go by!

Had to have a little fun!  

Happy birthday people!

Before flying out we did a quick visit of Philly, a city we want to go back and explore further!  

It's always hard to come back into adulthood and our jobs :( but again... we make the most of being here. This past weekend we finally got out and did some stand up paddle boarding!  It was fun and relaxing!  We'll be doing it again for sure! 

 In 20 days we'll be checking in for our Ireland/Scotland trip!  Work is just a means to fuel our adventures! Loving my life!

Crisis averted and societal norms

FINALLY had my follow up about my mammogram and the surgeon is going to request an MRI, no needles at this time :) Whoohoo!  The worst part of this was waiting to know something.  Even now I don't "know" anything but talking to someone about the results and they were able to reassure me that I don't have anything to worry about!

I've been doing errands, trying to take it easy on my days off this week.  I actually work 5 days in a row starting tomorrow! There was a contract that was advertised for Tyndall AFB that I've applied for.  It would be full time, Mon-Fri, with benefits. I enjoy where I am at now but being on Tyndall would get my foot in the door, stability, and weekends off!

So I've made an interesting observation the other day.  Joe had some stuff he needed to trade into Kay's jewlry store and he wanted me to pick out some stuff.  Joe and I are committed to each other and we like how things are without having people get into our business.  My work peeps are already making comments about weddings and what not *eye roll*.  I've been wearing a ring on my right hand the whole time we've been together as a symbol to me of my relationship with him.  He's asked me about rings and I told him if anything he can replace the one that I have now.  So after picking out some beautiful diamond earrings and having more money to play with, we picked out a ring together and I wear it on my right hand.  Now, one would think any new bling would be noticed but no.  If it's not on the left hand, that the "proper" finger then nothing is said LOL  Our society is so programmed that only certain things are important.  By the way, in Germany they wear their rings on the right hand :P  
I have three rows of diamonds, not one big one that stands out but a nice band and to make it even better it's a combination of two different sets so it's not something one goes into the store and they see.  It's simple but slightly unique, kinda like our relationship :P  It's nice to find ways to keep our relationship truly ours and close to our hearts without the drama that comes from other people's opinions on how things "should be".
I see so many post and what committed relationships should progress to....engagement, marriage... and everything is posted and these big things are done to "share the love with family".  At the end of the day the love and the relationships is between those two people, why is it so important to bring other people into that relationship.  We are together, we love each other, we are still individuals and our family can and does accept this part of our lives due to our happiness but all the hoopla and having everyone in our relationship.  
Nope, we are good!  

From the Gulf of Mexico to the Blue Ridge Mountains!

No rest for us!  I had a telephone interview a couple of weeks ago for a job in Panama City and they wanted me to come meet the team and see the facilities.  I got free time to spare so why not!  Joe was able to take the whole week off, he was taking Thursday and Friday off for our own little get away so it worked out well.

Darien, GA

It's about a 10 hr drive :(  We stopped in a cute little town in GA and then had lunch at a fun place in Tallahassee, FL.  We got to PC early evening so we could scope out some apartments that we wanted to look at after my job interviews.  I ended up having two!  Another place called me to set up an interview that day so I had a day packed and it was Joe's birthday!  He got to play interview chauffeur and scope out the area while I was getting questioned :P

First interview went o.k.  It was to be a Child Protective Investigator.  It is a state job and I would be investigating reports of child abuse.  I would have to pull call off and on, and drive up to 2 hours away.  One place in the region I would have to take a ferry to get to!  It would be a very taxing and mentally stressful job.  It would not be a boring job that is for sure!  One of the questions I asked was about how they support their workers to avoid burn out, they did report a heavy turn over rate and their "seasoned" person had been there 3 years!  I was told by one of the supervisors that they highly recommend that their workers take a week off ever couple of months for a reset and to "catch up on paperwork".  Ummm not a good selling point to me!  Knowing how I am in the work environment, I would work myself to the bone to do the best I could do!  Additionally, this job would not get me towards my LCSW which I want to get.  I would have to take additional work to get my therapy hours :(  I researched the pay average for MSWs in FL (they are lower than the national average) and the range is from $21-$31/hr, this job was $20 and some change :(.  They wanted me to come back after my other interview for the background check portion but....

Next interview was the follow up.  It's working with active duty and retired military in an in-patient setting...mainly PTSD and substance abuse.  The population I want to work with and it's therapy focused!  Only downside is that it's an PRN so it depends on the patient load how many days/hours I will get.  I was told during the interview at a minimum it would be 2-3 days.  This work environment would be a perfect fit for me for it's population and it's workers.  I spent a few hours there.  I sat through one of their team meetings where they staff clients and I got a good feel for how they operate.  I talked to some of the other MSWs and also the nursing staff and everyone enjoys the clientele and the work environment!  I walked away with a job offer for $23/hr :D  WOOT!  I start orientation on 5 October.  That gives us a couple of weeks to get settled in FL!  

After that interview we had a light snack, I changed, and we started apartment shopping. We had Joe's bday dinner on the water and it was wonderful and we were both in awe that this was going to be our new home!  Tuesday morning we checked out another apartment and then headed back to N.C. 

first FL sunset!

We took Wednesday as a reset day and then Thursday heading to the mountains of N.C.  Beautiful area and we both loved the city of Asheville!  It didn't feel like we were in N.C.!  The Biltmore is amazing and I recommend that to anyone in the area!  I'm fascinated with the Vanderbilts now!  

Biltmore

it use to be a dairy, holding 40 dairy cows...now it's a winery and we sure did enjoy the wine tasting!

Saturday we headed home and stopped at Chimney Rock.  The elevator was broken so we got an entrance discount since we had to climb 499 stairs to get to the top!  But it was worth it!

Chimney Rock

We have a garage sale to get ready for this weekend and then a short trip to Charleston for Labor Day Weekend!  Then the weekend of the 11th we are off to the Outer Banks and then we MOVE!  

It's a rainy day, the furkids are lazy and I need to get motivated! ugh  I need to sort through stuff to get rid of.  I kept some "winter" stuff because it does get chilly here in N.C. but now.... I  have to downsize even more!  Plus I have my work starting paperwork to fill out and send back to my new job!!!!!  Time for some income!  

Life is crazy, wonderful, and I plan to live it to the fullest!

A pirate looks at 40

Well, I'm not a pirate and I'm not turning 40....but I'm just about there.  I will be turning 39 in a manner of weeks and whoa what a ride it's been thus far.  I've moved more times that I care to count and by the end of September I'll have another move tallied up!  I can't believe it, I'm already hunting for apartments and there is so much to do AGAIN! We want to downsize even more with this move so I need to start going through my stuff again.  I did keep some cold weather stuff/clothing which I can downsize :D  Yeah for Florida, no winter weather!  We have our must see NC items scheduled.  
I just returned from visiting a friend up near Boston and had a great time!  I thought when people talk of north easterners they embellish the "wicked" and other words.  They don't!  It is beautiful up there, all the towns but I would hate to live up there in the winter :(  We checked out Salem and some other historical areas.  My Mom lived up there as a little girl so it was nice to see some of the area.  We bought fresh lobster off the boat one day!  My first lobster eating experience!  I've avoided having lobster in restaurants, mainly because if I'm going out to eat I don't want to work that hard to get to my food!  So buying it off of the fisherman, then taking it back for some home cooking, and eating it outside with great people... it was worth the wait!  I was gone about 6 days and I was so happy to come back home!  
We have a somewhat chill weekend coming up then I'm heading to the Baltimore area to visit a friend there just for a long weekend.  I need to get all this visiting in now before I get a job! *fingers crossed* that the job happens soon after we get to FL.  I applied for a hospital social worker position this week and that would be great if I got that job!  
My life has never felt more surreal to me before!  Even living in different countries I've had moments of "wow, is this really happening to me" but it's not been constant. The compatibility that I have with Joe amazes me, the ease of our relationship is something I've always wanted but never lasted.  It's the little things.... Yesterday I texted Joe about dinner, asked about pork chops (I found a recipe) and he stated he wanted to grill them so I looked for some sides to go with.  He invited his friend John over (John's girl had other plans) and we were just going to hang out.  Joe gets home, seasons the chops, I get working on the homemade mac and cheese with Joe's assistance.  John shows up and he "monitors" Joe's grilling and I finish up with the mac and cheese, and broccoli.  We timed things wonderfully and it all finishes about the same time.  We sit down and the food was wonderful, conversation is easy...after dinner we did a quick clean up and move out to the porch.  The guys light up their cigars and I have a glass of wine.  Easy, comfortable, good times!  It starts to rain and we start to relocate to the garage, I tell Joe I'm going to go inside (I'm engaged in this book and I'm almost done) plus the guys were talking shop and well...I had enough of that.  No hard feeling and it was easy going. After John left Joe said they had some good conversations on relationships and other things, so I'm glad that I stepped away and they could have those conversations.  
A wonderful evening!  So comfortable, everyone was in a good mood, and the vibe was relaxed and comfortable!  
I am really blessed!

the little things

As I sit at my computer this Thursday morning, looking for jobs in Florida and drinking my coffee the rain is dumping outside.  There is something different about the storms here in NC, maybe it's being in the country but the rain is so refreshing out here.  Then again, I don't have to go out in it anywhere so that adds to the difference :P

Joe and I are planning another Richmond trip this weekend.  It's a short drive (3 hours) and our quick stop there just prompted us to want to spend more time there.  We've narrowed down our NC bucket list, the things we have to do prior to moving which due to his test date won't be toward the end of September.  We have some time, but next weekend I'll be up in Boston spending time with a friend so that will be so much fun!  Never been that far up the east coast :D

It's amazing how BIG little things are in relationships.  The other weekend we were getting a game plan together.  We talked about things to do prior to Saturday morning but we didn't narrow anything down and I had some stuff saved to my laptop.  We usually have our weekend coffee together at the table, talking about whatever and this morning I grabbed my laptop so we could narrow down some plans.  My battery started to die soon after getting started and Joe went and got my charger, but that's not the "little thing" that stuck with me.  After I sat down with my laptop and I was logging in he goes and gets my hair clip.  I tend to always have my hair twisted up around the house and when I'm on the computer it's a must :P  Not only did he get my hair clip he came back and twisted up my hair and clipped it.  All this without me saying a word except for thank you when he was done.  That is one of my memories that I will hold close to my heart, and will always give me a smile.  Appreciate the little things in your relationships, hold onto them more than any slight irritations that may happen.  :)

The summer months in the military brings a lot of going away shindigs and retirements.  I've gone to two retirements already and a few house parties that go along with that :P  This last one that I went to, Joe was the "MC" and he did a wonderful job.  The ceremony was in a hanger, so yes it was hot, but it went smoothly and everyone was happy especially the retiree and his family and that is what really counts.  One of Joe's friends was there to take pictures of the event and she hooked us up with some couple photos which we haven't gotten back yet :(  I'm excited to see the photos that she took. There was another photographer that took some photos and we kept a few of those.  Appreciating the little things is not only good advice for one's relationship but for life and general.  The military life has and is good to me and my connection to that life is never taken for granted.  Sitting in retirement ceremonies are touching to me and this one was  no different!

Joe liked this one because that's me :D

I took this one, and what a great backdrop for a retirement ceremony!

Joe and I both like this one.  The Airman's hands are rough and beat up holding something so dear to us all.  This is what the military is-a bunch of individuals working their butts off for this country!

Life is short, we age, we get comfortable but we can choose to keep living life to the fullest.  Taking in the little things, appreciating the beauty of a NC thunderstorm, that has now cleared by the way ;) We make choices every day in our lives, and I choose to be happy!

A theory of love....

Going through my blog "drafts" I found this one that I started and this morning I was thinking of this very same thing...

I'm not going to "post" this till later but I wanted to just put it out there in the cyber universe.  

This afternoon I saw "The Theory of Everything" and it was a wonderful movie.  It got me thinking and choking on emotion.

I am in the midst of separating from Shane.  By the time I post this, it will be over and we'll be separated.  Walking home from the movie I couldn't help but think about love and finding your "one".  The movies always paint this beautiful picture of falling in love, people just KNOW.  These stories have to come from somewhere right?!  Seeing someone and just knowing that they are your fit without a doubt!

I've been stumbling my way through love, and through life, trying to find that "fit".  Am I stumbling due to my own mental hang ups in relationships or have I failed to find my fit? I had a friend say to me, after one of my hard break ups, is that he admires me because throughout my trip ups, I am still hopeful in finding that perfect fit for me.  Is it the true love of movies and make believe, I don't know... but I have to believe that I will know it deep in my soul that I've found my fit.  

Endings are always hard, even if they are for the best.  My heart is heavy today for this good-bye that is coming but I know this is what needs to be.  I'm not going to be happy and he's not going to be happy.  He is not my fit.

I also had a couple of saved quotes:
"Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place." - Zora Neale Hurston (1891-1960) American Novelist, Playwright, Anthropologist .

"All love that has not friendship for its base, is like a mansion built upon the sand." - Ella Wheeler Wilcox (1850-1919) American Writer, Poet, Journalist

So I probably wrote this around January and a lot has happened since then.  In January I spent some time with an old friend in North Carolina, Joe.  We first met in Okinawa, both of us were stationed together there.  There has been three people in my life whom I've been drawn to instantly: one in high school, Joe, and another person while I was going through some training.  Never acted on the one in high school, and the one during some training didn't pan out but Joe was a different story.  We were together off and on for three years.  We had our drama, but there was something that fit with him so well even back then.  The way we communicated and were with each other, it was comfortable and we fit in such an amazing way.  Due to circumstances and the military way, we both went our separate ways.  Over the years we would touch base with one another, check in and see where each other was in life.  He's had a few marriages and his own handful of relationship trips, like me.  He was suppose to have a work trip to Hill AFB in Utah but then I didn't hear anything so I checked in with him, the trip was canceled but we started emailing back and forth.  He was actually in Germany at the time visiting friends.  We kept it friendly and he realized that I was going through some things and he was a good friend giving me support in my decisions to work on my relationship.  He offered me a reprieve from things, to give me a break from everything.  He is renting a house in NC, and had room to spare and an extra car..he even offered to go stay at a friends house while I was here if I really needed some down time away from everything.  Joe offered that out and at first I wasn't going to go.  During this time, I was seeing a psychologist for some individual therapy to help me work through some of my relationship stuff and get me back on track.  

In one of my lasts sessions with the psychologist we talked about following my gut, which I don't really do...my "mind" gets in the way and I over think things or rationalize things.  We broke out my "process" and we talked about a time when I followed my gut and didn't listen to my over rational mind.  The time when I really did that was when I volunteered to India.  We looked at that and broke that down and it's my goal to keep listening to my gut.  So..... when Joe brought up a break for me, and offered me a safe place for a little bit to reset and recharge, I took some time and thought about it and decided to take him up on his offer.

I hadn't really seen Joe since we were stationed in Okinawa, we exchanged pictures every now and then but physically been around him...it's been 13 years or so.  So with a big case of nerves, but excited to get a break I flew out to NC.  

There are people in our lives that we meet and it's like we've always been together, people that it doesn't matter how many years have passed we always fall back into an easy relationship, where the communication flows smoothly and there is a comfort that is indescribable.  I had to fly into Charlotte and we had a wee bit of a drive to get to his house.  That whole drive was comfortable, we talked freely about so many things, and didn't even noticed that we had rung in 2015 with each other because we were talking so much.  The whole trip was relaxed and comfortable and exactly what I needed at that time.  We did some sight seeing, he took me to the beach :D and just enjoyed doing whatever came up with no set plans.

Making it back to Utah, I had my last semester to finish at school.  Shane and I were still going through our break up.  We had agreed that we had broken up already but he was getting things set up for his move so we were still in the apartment together.  It was hard...

Joe and I kept our communication and he attempted to retire early so he could move to Utah but was denied.  When that happened, my automatic response was that I'd move out to NC.  I will have graduated, retired from the military, and will be in between looking for jobs.... so "why not".  

Towards the end of May, Joe came out and we moved to NC.  I've been here for almost a couple of months now and I'm still amazed at how "we" are, how we fit, how we communicate, and our love. We've had a rough road to get here which allows us both to appreciate what we have that much more.

I've never gave my stock into fairy tales, the romantic stories in movies but now.... I feel that I'm truly blessed with a love that stories are written of.   We found our way back to each other.... I don't question it and have finally fell into my "fit".

During our emails back and forth before moving out to NC we would find random quotes that explained things that we couldn't.... here are some felt truths we shared:

2 weeks away from "work"

Tomorrow Shane and I head out to Denver for his birthday.  It should be a nice little break, I'm still struggling with this head cold but I'm not going to let it stop me!  I will be away from work for a week, and then the following week I go TDY to Alabama for training :) yeah!  It will be a nice break!
We kept it low key for the infamous Valentine's Day.  We got cards for each other and he made me a wonderful dinner!  Bruschetta, pasta with zucchini, cucumbers, and asparagus.... followed with chocolate covered strawberries and cannoli's!  It was wonderful!  I got myself a keeper :)
I need to get to packing though.... ugh
I love to travel, just hate packing!

My Secret Talent

I get asked this a lot "how come you aren't dating anyone?"  Well, right now I have no desire or need to be in a relationship.  But the other thing is the quality of guy that randomly talks to me.  Yesterday is a good example and my friend got to see my talent in action.

Maybe it's cuz I'm going out and I'm in a funk this weekend so that is what is drawn to me.... men of questionable..., oh hell they are just questionable!

Guy #1, I'm in hell on earth (wal-mart) I don't even know why I went there!  Oh yeah, when I was talking to someone else about going shopping I was told to go to Wal Mart cuz they are SO much cheaper.  Yes, they are but I also feel like I'm loosing part of my soul AND they don't have over half the stuff I had on my list. I try to buy local, organic, healthy stuff.  I got half way through my list and just said "screw it" I'm done with here but not before a guy wanted to chat me up in the cold foods section.

No....I was NOT this lucky :(

Now that I'm thinking about my Wal Mart trip maybe I shouldn't wear this t-shirt:

We all know that a majority of people in Wal Mart take this idea to the extreme!  

Well, here I am in the cold foods, checking the eggs to see if they have anything in a 6 pack of organic/hormone/antibiotic free variety (they don't). Then I hear "I like your shirt" and it's a old guy in a wheel chair hooked up to an O2 tank.  

"Thanks, one has to have fun in life!" and I move on down to the cheese.  

A minute later I'm trying to figure out what coffee creamer I want and wheel chair man zooms on up.  "Hey were did you get the tattoo on your leg?" 

"Texas, about 16 years ago" back to creamer.... 

"It doesn't look that old". 

"well, you got to take care of your stuff".....time to give up on the creamer and be sociable I guess :P

I then get to hear about him: he is Irish, has more than 10 grand kids that he loves to spoil and leave with their parents, he hangs out with a lot of Hispanics and one owns a tattoo parlor and if he gives them business he gets free tats.  He had a handful, he had a half naked senorita on his calf but he never told me his friends' tattoo parlor's name (even though I asked twice), not that I'd go there but since this man is talking to me figured I do some tattoo recon.  Gotta know where not to go. So after a few minutes the conversation died and he wheeled away.

Yep, my ego is just bursting with the men I attract!

Oh about a week or so ago at the liquor store I was invited to a hotel party by a homeless guy.  I know....you are jealous! 

On to the evening festivities.  Met with an old coworker at the Green Pig for drinks and dinner.  After eating and while we were chit chatting, Kyle #1 comes over and invites us to sit with him at the bar.  With that first intro I noticed he was already slurring and he made it clear he was from Iowa, like that was a big thing.  Do guys think if they point out that they are from out of state that increases their chances for drunk one night stands?  

We thanked Kyle #1 for the invite and we stayed were we were.  Well, about 10/15 minutes later and probably a few more drinks on his part he's back over, and here comes the rest of his crew: Kyle #2, Ryan, and the only one that acted sober .... forgot his name so he shall be sober one in this story.  Kyle #1 actually lives here and the others just came down to party with their old high school buddy and we found out a few things:

there is nothing to do in Iowa but get drunk and dirt biking,

Kyle #1 hates everyone (he told us he hated us numerous times),

they have already been kicked out of one bar (this was only around 9).

We got a couple of drinks out of these guys so that was good.  Ryan was beyond drunk and was even wavering to which the bar tender cut him off and asked us girls if we were o.k.  I liked that and will defiantly hang out at the Green Pig more if the bartender is keeping an eye on the ladies :)  Well, once a full beer is taken away from a drunk it's game over and apparently the Iowans were too good for the bar and off they went cuz they didn't know that "swaying was illegal".  The sober one had a handful with that crew!  Good riddance, which was good because Kyle #1 and Ryan had started not being considerate of personal space.  

It's back to us our girls and as we were laughing at what just happened we were scoping the area and pointing out the cuties.  I saw one: had a 5 o'clock shadow going, cute, dressed nice.... eye contact was made and I'm thinking maybe this night won't be a complete waste and I could have a sensible conversation with a guy.  WRONG.  

First clue: his friend came over and invited us to go sit with them.  I didn't even notice his friend that much and that's always been a pet peeve of mine, if a guy wants to talk to me don't send the friend!  But when I tell others this view of mine, mainly to guys, i get the whole "don't be too hard on them" bullshit.  So we close out our tabs and think, what the hell and head over to join these guys.  Mark, the guy that invited us, was outside talking on the phone so it was just us and Dustin.  As soon as he opened his mouth I wanted to get up and run!  But we suffered a little bit to be nice.  Dustin is a sit there, keep your mouth shut, and look cute type of guy.  He had a weirdo laugh, my friend thinks something was "wrong" with him and in the course of our get to know you convo we found out that:

he's taking a break from life (apparently he had a really bad break up among other things)

he's dad is a veterinarian-I heard this first so that was some potential of something but nope....not following in Daddy's footsteps

.....his friend Mark, eventually came back and he actually has a job in commercial real estate but by that time we were done and we made our exit!

So there  you have it, one of my talents when it comes to men.  The men that have the "balls" to talk to me are old, homeless, "special", or drunk as F*ck!  

It makes for an interesting life for sure!

... from Love to Shamrocks :)

I made it! I made it through as one friend renamed it, Singles Appreciation Day, aka Valentine's Day :P  Not that I was worried about it but one can't go through this month without noticing the over abundance of hearts, red, pink, chocolate, and roses that are splayed everywhere! 

I've gone through a lot since Hawaii and I am better, way better mentally and emotionally that I have ever been.  I am enjoying this single time in my life.  I get to really take the time to figure out and enjoy who I am.

The day passed with some nice Valentines wishes, and that was it.  I did get a gift from my awesome Marcia.  I enjoyed hearing the stories of my coworkers, of their plans to celebrate the holiday with their husbands (yep I'm the only single one).  I was happy. 

I am happy :D

You know you are over past relationships when you can hear certain songs and even bands without quickly changing the radio station or if you can't, striking up a conversation as to distract yourself from the music.  I'm talking about those relationships that rip you in two, kick you while you are in the fetal position, and stomp on your chest for good measure.  I don't get those emotional flash backs anymore.  I may get a gut check but it passes on the breeze, and I'm moving on.  I can hear these trigger songs and think back fondly on the past relationships.  I don't get all melancholy trying to figure out what went wrong... I just smile and then go on with my day.  Whatever it was was obviously not met to be and I'm fine with that.


My time will come and it will be awesome!