Maybe it's cuz I'm going out and I'm in a funk this weekend so that is what is drawn to me.... men of questionable..., oh hell they are just questionable!
Guy #1, I'm in hell on earth (wal-mart) I don't even know why I went there! Oh yeah, when I was talking to someone else about going shopping I was told to go to Wal Mart cuz they are SO much cheaper. Yes, they are but I also feel like I'm loosing part of my soul AND they don't have over half the stuff I had on my list. I try to buy local, organic, healthy stuff. I got half way through my list and just said "screw it" I'm done with here but not before a guy wanted to chat me up in the cold foods section.
No....I was NOT this lucky :(
Now that I'm thinking about my Wal Mart trip maybe I shouldn't wear this t-shirt:
We all know that a majority of people in Wal Mart take this idea to the extreme!
Well, here I am in the cold foods, checking the eggs to see if they have anything in a 6 pack of organic/hormone/antibiotic free variety (they don't). Then I hear "I like your shirt" and it's a old guy in a wheel chair hooked up to an O2 tank.
"Thanks, one has to have fun in life!" and I move on down to the cheese.
A minute later I'm trying to figure out what coffee creamer I want and wheel chair man zooms on up. "Hey were did you get the tattoo on your leg?"
"Texas, about 16 years ago" back to creamer....
"It doesn't look that old".
"well, you got to take care of your stuff".....time to give up on the creamer and be sociable I guess :P
I then get to hear about him: he is Irish, has more than 10 grand kids that he loves to spoil and leave with their parents, he hangs out with a lot of Hispanics and one owns a tattoo parlor and if he gives them business he gets free tats. He had a handful, he had a half naked senorita on his calf but he never told me his friends' tattoo parlor's name (even though I asked twice), not that I'd go there but since this man is talking to me figured I do some tattoo recon. Gotta know where not to go. So after a few minutes the conversation died and he wheeled away.
Yep, my ego is just bursting with the men I attract!
Oh about a week or so ago at the liquor store I was invited to a hotel party by a homeless guy. I know....you are jealous!
On to the evening festivities. Met with an old coworker at the Green Pig for drinks and dinner. After eating and while we were chit chatting, Kyle #1 comes over and invites us to sit with him at the bar. With that first intro I noticed he was already slurring and he made it clear he was from Iowa, like that was a big thing. Do guys think if they point out that they are from out of state that increases their chances for drunk one night stands?
We thanked Kyle #1 for the invite and we stayed were we were. Well, about 10/15 minutes later and probably a few more drinks on his part he's back over, and here comes the rest of his crew: Kyle #2, Ryan, and the only one that acted sober .... forgot his name so he shall be sober one in this story. Kyle #1 actually lives here and the others just came down to party with their old high school buddy and we found out a few things:
there is nothing to do in Iowa but get drunk and dirt biking,
Kyle #1 hates everyone (he told us he hated us numerous times),
they have already been kicked out of one bar (this was only around 9).
We got a couple of drinks out of these guys so that was good. Ryan was beyond drunk and was even wavering to which the bar tender cut him off and asked us girls if we were o.k. I liked that and will defiantly hang out at the Green Pig more if the bartender is keeping an eye on the ladies :) Well, once a full beer is taken away from a drunk it's game over and apparently the Iowans were too good for the bar and off they went cuz they didn't know that "swaying was illegal". The sober one had a handful with that crew! Good riddance, which was good because Kyle #1 and Ryan had started not being considerate of personal space.
It's back to us our girls and as we were laughing at what just happened we were scoping the area and pointing out the cuties. I saw one: had a 5 o'clock shadow going, cute, dressed nice.... eye contact was made and I'm thinking maybe this night won't be a complete waste and I could have a sensible conversation with a guy. WRONG.
First clue: his friend came over and invited us to go sit with them. I didn't even notice his friend that much and that's always been a pet peeve of mine, if a guy wants to talk to me don't send the friend! But when I tell others this view of mine, mainly to guys, i get the whole "don't be too hard on them" bullshit. So we close out our tabs and think, what the hell and head over to join these guys. Mark, the guy that invited us, was outside talking on the phone so it was just us and Dustin. As soon as he opened his mouth I wanted to get up and run! But we suffered a little bit to be nice. Dustin is a sit there, keep your mouth shut, and look cute type of guy. He had a weirdo laugh, my friend thinks something was "wrong" with him and in the course of our get to know you convo we found out that:
he's taking a break from life (apparently he had a really bad break up among other things)
he's dad is a veterinarian-I heard this first so that was some potential of something but nope....not following in Daddy's footsteps
.....his friend Mark, eventually came back and he actually has a job in commercial real estate but by that time we were done and we made our exit!
So there you have it, one of my talents when it comes to men. The men that have the "balls" to talk to me are old, homeless, "special", or drunk as F*ck!
It makes for an interesting life for sure!
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