day by day

What a couple of weeks.  But as a good adult, a responsible adult, I've made it through yet another week of work!  For those that are within talking distance have gotten an ear full on my job and what I think about it.  To put it bluntly-the management needs to pull their heads out of their ass!  They cannot continue to run their business with good quality customer care with the manning that they have.

It's Saturday and yesterday is behind me along with the rest of the work week so on to good stuff.

This weekend is the Utah Arts Festival and it kicked of Thursday night.  I had a friend that was town bound (he lives WAY up by the base :P ) so he met me at my place and after a quick change out of work clothes we were on our way.  It was a great night.  We talked a lot, we have similar jobs, and it helps me have a better understanding of my job because it's not like my coworkers are this open and helpful about things in gaining the whole picture.  I always like looking at the art and the people.  Last time I went it wasn't as big as it is this year! They got a big stage set up. We heard some folk singers while sitting on a curb chatting and watching people.

    side note: why do girls wear high heals to something they are going to do a lot of walking at?!  don't get it!

Had some good food and then ended the night with some good ol' Irish music!  I had to laugh cuz wherever I go I seem to find some good Irish band :)  Thursday night was the Young Dubliners.  The had some good stuff but I was reminded of Hawaii's Dooln' Rakes.  I found out there is a Irish Music Festival up in Ogden at the end of July! WOOT :D

I had to break down and buy some fans yesterday on my way home from work.  the mercury is rising and I needed some comfort and air flow in my apartment.  It's getting warm but it will give me a reason to go roam the streets, get out and do stuff.  I need to enjoy this summer, come September I'm going to be hitting the books again!

Before I get on with my lovely Saturday I'm going to post a couple of poems from this past week, I tend to write when I'm in a low.  So, if you're feeling good from my post go ahead a stop  reading :P

smile
be funny
all is well
let me be your cheer
Don't you know
Can't you see
I'm barely holding on
This smile
not mine
just a remembrance
weak
tired
done
can i use some strength
for me

not take calls-

it's ME

are you tired?

are you sane?

just let me hear your voice

i promise

no complaining

I'll be happy

I'll tell jokes

I'll tell you it will be better

I'll listen

I'll be positive

You won't know my pain

my fears

my low

I promise

I won't be me

day by day

What a couple of weeks.  But as a good adult, a responsible adult, I've made it through yet another week of work!  For those that are within talking distance have gotten an ear full on my job and what I think about it.  To put it bluntly-the management needs to pull their heads out of their ass!  They cannot continue to run their business with good quality customer care with the manning that they have.

It's Saturday and yesterday is behind me along with the rest of the work week so on to good stuff.

This weekend is the Utah Arts Festival and it kicked of Thursday night.  I had a friend that was town bound (he lives WAY up by the base :P ) so he met me at my place and after a quick change out of work clothes we were on our way.  It was a great night.  We talked a lot, we have similar jobs, and it helps me have a better understanding of my job because it's not like my coworkers are this open and helpful about things in gaining the whole picture.  I always like looking at the art and the people.  Last time I went it wasn't as big as it is this year! They got a big stage set up. We heard some folk singers while sitting on a curb chatting and watching people.

    side note: why do girls wear high heals to something they are going to do a lot of walking at?!  don't get it!

Had some good food and then ended the night with some good ol' Irish music!  I had to laugh cuz wherever I go I seem to find some good Irish band :)  Thursday night was the Young Dubliners.  The had some good stuff but I was reminded of Hawaii's Dooln' Rakes.  I found out there is a Irish Music Festival up in Ogden at the end of July! WOOT :D

I had to break down and buy some fans yesterday on my way home from work.  the mercury is rising and I needed some comfort and air flow in my apartment.  It's getting warm but it will give me a reason to go roam the streets, get out and do stuff.  I need to enjoy this summer, come September I'm going to be hitting the books again!

Before I get on with my lovely Saturday I'm going to post a couple of poems from this past week, I tend to write when I'm in a low.  So, if you're feeling good from my post go ahead a stop  reading :P

smile
be funny
all is well
let me be your cheer
Don't you know
Can't you see
I'm barely holding on
This smile
not mine
just a remembrance
weak
tired
done
can i use some strength
for me

not take calls-

it's ME

are you tired?

are you sane?

just let me hear your voice

i promise

no complaining

I'll be happy

I'll tell jokes

I'll tell you it will be better

I'll listen

I'll be positive

You won't know my pain

my fears

my low

I promise

I won't be me

random 5am and I'm wide awake

A weekend I'm not working and I wake up around 5am, wide awake!  What the hell?!  I check the March Madness bracket, email, FB and bust out a poem before going back to sleep.  I guess I needed to empty some stuff out on paper :)


My past
is your place
Now, today, my future
Has no room
I gave
You took
disrespect in return
I asked for
truth
respect
closure
Actions yelled
louder than any false words
I heard
cried
accepted
I moved forward
My past is your place
Stay

found

I'm trying to get organized, settled, unpacked, and well...just getting my life livable all the while I'm living my life.  Needless to say, the organizing and settling is going slow.  I unpacked two more boxes last night!  I love my new bed!  Not only is it comfortable but that extra storage is awesome!

I was looking for something and came across this poem on my iPad.  I wrote it when I was moving out here to Utah on a plane looking out the window.

Veins of my mother


Above dried life streams
I see veins reaching
But find nothing
Life is diverted for
Corporations greed
for a lush green lawn
Of the privileged few
When above do they not notice
Do they not feel
The parchment of their mother
The cry deafens me

Denied

an easy request

support, reassurance, calm

nothing, no good-bye

Run!

alarm off

debate begins

yoga done

toast with PB

talk to me,

lenny, p!nk, kasi

rain drizzle

It's Hawaii it will pass

Ala Wai

pass people

in their bench beds

runners

walkers

paddlers

Diamond Head is emerald green

cut down to "the beach"

tour buses fillng

goods unfilling

share smiles with strangers

felt bad for the hungover guys

with their chit chatty girls

homeless zombies

new boxes for the paying lobsters and oriental flowers

back over the canal

I feel my thighs

my but

yesterday is officially gone

the disappointments of men

the ever shrinking timeline

I feel good

strong

clear!

Unwanted Lover

when i feel complete

happy

you linger 

in corners grey

with my defenses down

my mood dark

my body weak

you slide up to me

and smile

you caress me

your breath sears my neck

knowing eyes pierce

Go Away

I do not want you!

but you know me

completely

my secrets

my mind

my body

my wants and desires

you are my comfort

an old sweatshirt

that holds bittersweet memories

i want it burned, gone

but i can't let go

i struggle to 

push you away

you step back

grin

but linger on the wings

of negative emotions

waiting

for my weakness to return

you leave me

drained

no desire

no want to be a part of this life

I hate you

stay away 

let me live

release me...

Risk

I liked this :D

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.

To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.

To reach out for another is to risk involvement.

To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.

To place your ideas, your dreams before the crowd, is to risk their loss.

To love is to risk not being loved in return.

To live is to risk dying.

To hope is to risk dispair.

To try is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken because the greatest

hazard in life is to risk nothing. People

who risk nothing, have nothing, am nothing. People

who risk nothing cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love...

live. Chained by their certitude's, they are slaves, they

have forfeited freedom.

Only a person who risks is free.

-Anonymous

My Bed

Blankets thick

Pillows many

I live Hawaii

The need is none

Blankets comfort me

Pillows engulf me

Hug me

Save me

"What's with all these damn blankets?"

You ask

Trying to get

to me

I smile

"they comfort me"

Throughout my years

my lovers

my moves

my travels

My blankets thick

My pillows many

Have been my constant

When I have been left

When I have left

My blankets hold me

Comforting and soothing

They hold my dreams

my tears

my joys

my insecurities

So I will always

have blankets

many

and thick

If you can

navigate your way

to me

and be that constant...

Then maybe,

I'll get rid of one ;)

Simplicity

A drive along the coast

top down

sun's warmth.

A simple kiss

on my shoulder bare...

A smile on my lips.

Happiness.

A bought bottle of wine

Unasked for

and chilled.

Rainbows full

Sun shining

Sprinkles of rain

tickle my face.

I smile.

A simple touch

awakens.

A simple act

acknowledged,

warms me.

And I am happy.