Troubling path

It's been a couple of days since my appointment for my MRI results.  These past couple of days I spent working long hours so it was a blessing of sorts.  So I had my MRI, with contrast, on both breast the other week.  I was told the results would be sent to the provider that day but I knew I would need to give her a day or two to review them.  I got a call with an appointment for this Tuesday to get the results.  That in itself is always stress inducing but I am forcing myself to take the news as it comes and not get caught up in the "what ifs" or focusing on negatives.
My appointment was not the best, mainly because the appointment was scheduled for 2:15 and I didn't see the doctor until close to 6!  I shit you not!  If it wasn't my MRI results I would have walked out!  When she walked in she was apologetic and I explained I can understand how busy she is but if I would have gotten some "check ins" or updates from her staff I would have been a little less irritated about the wait.  She acknowledged this and went on...  So my right boob got cleared via the MRI, she'll get a re check via an ultrasound in 6 months.  The left is problematic and I will be getting a biopsy on lefty.  Not sure when that is happening but I'll be calling the office tomorrow to get an update.
Of course this progression is nerve racking but then I just check myself and remind myself that negative thoughts and "what ifs" are not beneficial and do not help but can actually harm.  I challenge myself to meet each situation as it is and look at what I can do so I can press forward.
Additionally I keep living my life and enjoying things... at the end of the month we are planning a trip to check out Tampa and this past weekend we bought our tickets to check out England, Ireland, and Scotland!!! I've already paid off my cruise for December :)  Good times ahead even if I have to get my boobs prodded and cut on! LOL

Week of Emotions

On Sunday I "retired" from the military.  I put it in quotes because my official retirement date is 14 Aug, but I've met my time with the guard so I had my last day in uniform on Sunday.  I just went in for half a day and driving into work it hit me... I will not be wearing this uniform again, I will not be part of a military unit again, my time has ended.  It's so bitter sweet and I questioned if this is what I want to do.  I didn't have to retire, I could stay in longer!  The commander, whom I've never even talked to retained me for another year.
Turmoil of thoughts.  

I got into work and started bsing with folks and then it hit me, THIS is why I'm getting out now.  The politics of it all, the double standards, the lack of integrity, the lack of taking care of each other is a tidal wave of shit that I cannot stop.  My turmoil of "is this the right thing" was quickly replaced with a "yep, it is time for me to hang up the boots and call it a day on this part of my life".

I've met some wonderful people in the military. I've been blessed in my life with my opportunities.  I've been challenged and have grown with my time in the service and it has made me a better person.  There has been struggles, tears, and pain but that is life.  I can focus on that or I can focus on the good, where I'm at, and where I'm going!  Life is a journey that I am doing my best to enjoy!

On Wednesday I took my licensing exam to be a social worker.  I've been stressing about it. I spent the morning getting reviewing, or trying to review for the test... Tux had other plans.  I gave in to him, thinking if I didn't know the information that morning it wasn't going to sink in....

It's 170 questions and they give you 4 hours to take it!  I got there and they were serious about their test taking.  I had my palm scanned numerous times and it was used to "check in" and "check out", I also had my picture taken, couldn't take anything inside and could not wear my baseball cap into the testing area.  I thought the military was strict with their test taking rules.  I took my time, took a lot of deep breaths, and tried really hard not to second guess myself.  I took about three hours I suppose and like military computer test once you hit submit it gives you a pass/fail.  I held my breath, said a little payer, and submitted.  I FREAKN' PASSED!  I needed to have 99 questions correct and I got 122 :D WOOT!  I was so damn happy I had to contain my response in the testing center but once I stepped out I was a grinning fool and gave out a little "whoop".

NOW I feel done with school!  

My computer that has taken me through the last leg of this graduate degree...

Tomorrow, my parents and brother will be here and then I graduate with a freakn' master's degree!  Amazing!  Saturday is a graduation/retirement party and then I'm off to the next adventure! 

Life is crazy and I'm going to enjoy every moment of it that I can!