Home Sweet Home... not so much

I think I should change the purpose of this blog to be about relationships :P This post will probably jump around cuz I didn't sleep very well last night. Got to get use to the city noise and sirens again...

But let me backup....

My overall week in Utah was very nice and relaxing, and that is always a good vacation. I was ready to come home, but then I wasn't. I'm not looking forward to the school work and the crazy few months that I have ahead of me. There is so much to do and when I think of it all I get overwhelmed. But I've made it through worse, something that I said to mr.man last night and it's the truth, both about life and about relationships.

Before I even left I felt like something wasn't right about my current dating guy, but I am not a nagger so I left Hawaii thinking some of his actions were odd but then again we were in the beginning of dating so there is usually a lot of that going on till you get use to someone. The first couple of days we had the normal text traffic and then he fell off the face of the earth.

Ladies.... I don't care who you are but from my experirence when the guys don't respond back it could mean a few things:

1) he's in the hospital (this has yet to be an outcome but it's a possibility)

2) he's in jail (see #1) plus if a guy you are dating is ending up in jail for days at a time, you might want to rethink dating him

3) he's going through some mental anguish

4) he's talking to his ex/another girl

5) he's just an ass

Needless to say, it's usually 3 or 4 OR a combination of the two. I have yet to date a complete ass even though that is debatable if they are talking to other girls and not informing you of this "open" type dating but it could be worse I suppose. At least this latest and greatest told me about it right off the bat. Kudos to him for the honest, something that has been lacking in men lately.

Not sure why guys don't want to tell you the truth. Is it the greedy nature of wanting the cake and eating it to? The "i don't want to loose you" fear? Or is it cuz they want to keep you on as a "back up plan". Regardless all those "reasons" will bite you in the ass one way or another, especially if you are pulling that with a strong woman.

So, it was SO REFRESHING to have honesty. It doesn't make the situation hurt any less but I'm proud of myself for being receptive but firm in that I'm not continuing with the situation as is. Who the heck knows what the future holds but I'm not staying in the situation. Usually I try to be the "cool, understanding, sportive, female friend". Don't get me wrong, I shared more of my thoughts on the situation that I would have in the past, but it's not my problem to solve so I'm done with it.

So, I am allowing myself for it to be a sucky day for today. I will be lazy, I will crawl into my bed overflowing with my comforting pillows and blankets and I was morn the passing of what was. But tomorrow I will move on. I always do.

I've heard this from numerous guy friends (yes it is possible to have guy friends that have no physical connection with you)... they give me kudos for not being bitter about this whole love/dating/relationship thing. They say this cuz they know my background/history when it comes to men. It's getting harder not to be cynical about it though. I'm getting better and listening to my gut, so that's a good thing.... but the overall hope for that love with that special person that will be my partner in crime, it's harder to hold on to.

I'm back to my "one-man wolf pack" :P