Self Work

Like I mentioned in a previous post, I don't like asking something of my clients if I don't read the book or try it myself.  I have to have my own personal buy in if I want to help other people.  So in addition to the other book I'm reading, I started "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. A lot of other therapist will recommend this book to their clients, and we have a psycho educational group on codependency so I figured I'd give it a read.  It's good and I'm already to part II, I had some good quality pool reading time today!  
Now there are some exercises that one can do in the book to help gain some awareness of self.  I'm all about awareness, once we become aware and open to our own shit then we can be empowered to do something about it if we so choose.  
I decided to do the activities in the book.  I didn't think of myself as being codependent but just reading the first part of the book I can see tendencies that I've had in my past.  I'm going to do the activities here... which is not what is usually recommended.  What I mean about that is that it's good to do self work, exploration and physically write the stuff out.  There is something powerful in the written word as compared to typing it, it's more personally when it's written but...I'm a faster typer and it is what it is:P
Chapter 2: 
-did I identify with any of the stories?what helped me think of myself? what relationships came to mind and why?
at first it was hard to relate to the stories since they focused on being in a relationship with someone that was chemical dependent.  but then I thought about my relationship with my Mom when I lived with them in Hawaii, and then bits and pieces of past relationships.  The relationship with my Mom came to mind due to our dynamic at the time, and at the time I was seeing a therapist that pointed out the "dance" my Mom and I were doing, and it was unhealthy.  I was taking her moods as personal and we would get into a cycle that was not healthy.  
Chapter 3:
-my view of codependency?
being controlled by other's moods, not being able to separate self from others.
-do I know someone that has significantly affected my life, someone I worry about and wish I could change...who?  
currently I don't have anyone that I "wish I could change". but looking back on my life and relationships there is my Mom and at times other ex's that I've been with.  Up until recently my Mom would have fit this bill but she has been doing her own self discovery and I'm so proud of her.  She has been a big impact in my life, we've had an "odd" relationship and I've always wanted her to find her voice, be strong, and find her own happiness (which she is doing now).  
Chapter 4:
-marking characteristics of codependency:
I'm too lazy to list all of them here but it will dictate what I do/focus on in the future readings.
-how do I feel about change? do I think I can change, why/why not?
I'm always ready for change!!!!  and I know I can change, I've done it before so I'm not worried about making the change now to support myself more :)

So that's that... we will see what the future chapters hold!