Randomness

First off.... this isn't directed at any one. Some of these things and thoughts have been festering for a while now, via therapy, my classes, and other discussions.

I almost got up in the middle of the night cuz of my thoughts on this one little word, hate.

I think hate should be struck from everyone's vocabulary.

I don't hate people. Even the ones that, in my opinion, have done me wrong/hurt me immensely/or treated me wrong in any way. All relationships require two people, and I know and accept my part in them.

I don't have enough energy to put in to that emotion of hating and being resentful of people. I don't have enough time in my day to fret/worry/analyze my past interactions and relationships.... Not now, not after what I have learned about myself in the past few months. It's not worth it, it's not healthy, and I need to, NO... I have to move forward for my own health and sanity.

Some may say that I don't forgive because I don't let go of past issues. Nowhere in the definition of forgive does it mention forget. I move past and I move forward and I try not to let past actions have an impact over my life now or in the future. I do learn from my past, sometimes I'm slow, but I eventually do. There is that saying "A leopard can't change his spots". Some people can change... but that all depends on what it is I suppose.

Some say that I move forward too quickly. What's wrong with not wanting to wallow in misery? What's wrong with going from being so depressed your Mom asked if you need a "break" (aka committed), but then are able to turn around and take control of the situation and pull yourself out of the depression? Taking it minute-by-minute and then extended it to day to day.... What's wrong with the fact that instead of being in a depression that cripples you for months, I only was in it for a few weeks? Why would anyone question this strength of being able to take control of your thoughts, feelings, and your health and move forward? Of putting yourself out there and meeting people, and if you find someone that you enjoy hanging out with.... HANG OUT WITH THEM and not analyze and question, "Is this too soon". I'm not engaged, I'm not getting married, I'm enjoying my life, I'm finding the simple pleasures amidst my stressful last semester of school.

I may hit my lows hard, fast, and with a passion.... but I don't stay down.

I wouldn’t trade my lowest lows or my greatest moments for any predictable run of the mill life. :D

I’m enjoying my life, and I look forward to my next great moment. I know I’ll have some more lows, and I’m getting a lot better at dealing with them, learning from them and moving forward.

I am blessed, and am excited for what I’ll do next, the people that I’ll meet, and the experiences that I’ll share with them.

My life is great! Love and hugs to all! :D