My Rough Draft

A little catch up on a rainy day

2012-01-21T14:29:00.000-07:00

So it's been raining all day, already did some homework so I figured I'd try to update this little ol' blog of mine.

First off: resolutions for the New Year. Looking back to my post last year I'm probably going to carry over a majority of my resolutions.
Be More Earth Friendly I can always improve on this. I do try to more local goods than not, and I pay attention to what I am buying and where it comes from. This is hard and it's a major commitement and it will be a resolution until I die I think :P
Stay focus on my goals My goals last year were: get my own place, start on my Masters degree, take a kick ass vacation somewhere in the world, try to be a vegetarian. I did really good with staying focused!
I did get my own cute little apartment in Salt Lake City, I currently taking my third class toward my MPH, and I did try to be a vegetarian. The kick ass vacation.... umm, had some work trips to Ohio and went to Missouri for Christmas. I'm thinking those don't count :P
Goals for this year: continue with my MPH, take a kick ass vacation, and work out more often.
I so need to get in shape!

I think that's good enough for the resolutions. We'll see how well I do with these!

Codi wasn't a big fan of getting geared up for Christmas since we were going to Missouri, but like a normal parent, Shane made him participate in decorating the tree, putting up lights, and of course taking pictures. There was also one where he is rolling his eye, but this sarcastic smile was better! LOL

This was the tree at Shane's parents house. We also had stockings stuffed to overflowing! We (Shane and I) were brought coffee in bed so we'd get up so we could open presents. I would like to note that #1 the sun wasn't even up yet and #2 the youngest "kid" was 19 years old I believe! There was NO need to be up that early to open presents when there are no children younger than 5 in the vicinity! Needless to say we spent all morning opening presents. I felt very welcomed due to I had my own stocking and presents, I made out pretty well too! After presents, Shane and I took a nap!

We had one night that we went to a local bar so Shane's friends in the area could all meet up. Granted, with it being the holidays it's a little difficult. I got to meet some of his high school friends, and there was a mechanical bull there so the boys had to play.....

Overall the trip to Missouri and down to Oklahoma to visit family and friends was good. Busy but nice to meet everyone, and also see my family (it's only about a 4 hour drive to my family down in Oklahoma from his folks house). We returned back to Utah still liking each other after our travels, so that's a good thing too!

I really wanted to see the downtown lights for the holidays but with our schedules and traveling it wasn't looking too good. I was happy to see the lights still up after the new year so one night we did a quick detour to walk through and see the lights. It was also a bonus going this late due to lack of crazy crowds!

When we were taking the above photo, a tourist (had a thick accent) said, "Oh facebook photo". I guess this self portraits are now deemed FB Photos! hahaha

So.... that's the end of the year update that is late in coming :P

Quick Catch Up

2012-01-01T13:37:00.000-07:00

I started a post a few days ago and saved it so it this post wouldn't turn out so long with updates and New Year stuff....but that didn't turn out like I planned.

Here is what I started ;)

WOW! I can’t believe how long it’s been since I’ve updated my blog! I’ve been busy busy. I’ve finished and passed two classes towards my master’s degree. GO ME! Working hard with the Utah Air National guard getting our homeland security mission stood up.

Not me but I did get to do this also

ME!

Spending available time with Shane, friends and family. On top of all that it’s the holiday season, so my life has been on full blast lately. My class ended on this past Saturday with a 11 page paper being due but I have a school break until 10 January :) In a couple of days Shane, Codi, and I are flying out to Missouri to visit his family and friends, and spend a few days with my family. It’s really convenient that our families are somewhat close together!

Trying to remember what has been going on these past couple of weeks ;) Halloween ended up being really low key. I think I was getting over not feeling well, got a sinus infection back in October, so we went to another haunted house and then a couple of bars and called it a night. We didn’t dress up or anything :( That’s o.k., it was fun seeing everyone else’s costumes. Sometimes it’s fun to be around a bunch of happy people and just chill and watch the festivities!

November flew by. Spent turkey day with the Brown’s. I went down to their house the night before so I could hang out and also help prep/cook for Turkey day. Shane and Codi came down and the Stenseth’s were over for the festivities. We had a good time. Played pin the hat on the turkey, and eventually ended up in the basement for karaoke and some Wii. Codi turned 18 right after Thanksgiving so we went out to dinner with a few of his friends. They were hilarious but then tiring, by the time we got back to the house (dinner was in SLC) Shane and I were both ready for some low key silence. Even one of Codi’s friends who was really quiet the whole time, said they are always “on” with their comments/jokes/etc.

Any free time on the weekends, if it isn’t spent doing homework has been spent shopping. Not much of a gift giver during Christmas…usually just get what I want during the year and if I see something for someone else get it then…and most of the people I know usually don’t have things that they want but this year…I’ve been a gift buying fool. We put up a little tree at Shane’s and decorated it, much to Codi’s argument of “we aren’t even going to be here for Christmas”. But, we are going to open presents on Wednesday before we go to Missouri. And well…good thing that little tree is up on a table cuz it’s would have been dwarf by the presents thus far! Shane says we’ll have plenty more to open at his house along with stockings! With all this going on, going down to my parents house will be an oasis of relaxation!

Christmas in Utah

Shane’s unit had their holiday party this month and it was 20’s theme. We had fun dressing up but the party was a wee bit of a bust. Once all the gifts were given away, everyone took off :( Not much dancing or drinking. Not that I would have danced that much, my feet are a little out of practice when it comes to wearing heels! Living in slippas (flip flops) for almost three years in Hawaii really put a crimp in my heel wearing stamina!

I'll get to a holiday/new year post here soon. Downloaded a bunch of photos that I'll need to sort and tag.

It's the month of the dead!

2011-10-16T20:10:00.000-06:00

Busy busy busy! I have a couple of more weeks left in my first class of my Master's program. So far so good, but this class is the history and fundamentals of public health so it's not a whole lot of new information for me. I've had to write 1-2 papers a week so that is always time consuming. So on top of school work, I got regular work, trying to keep my apartment somewhat clean, and keeping up with my social life. It seems like I'm all over the place some days. I'm pretty good about packing over night bags!

Last weekend Shane and I went to the x96's Big Ass Show at the Gallivan Center. The weather wasn't the best but it didn't rain on us so we were all good. They had two stages set up. It was kinda funny to go listen to one band and then it was a mass migration to the other stage...and then back again. As always I LOVE people watching, specially downtown. Even if the bands were not my favs the people were great! After the music we tried out the Beerhive Pub on main. Great atmosphere and food!

That following Tuesday we went and saw the Foo Fighters! I do have some of their stuff but wasn't really that much of a fan to go to the concert. But as a good girlfriend (and lover of live music) I went out on a work night (which I'm getting too OLD for :P). THEY WERE AWESOME! They rocked it hard, the energy was great and they sounded awesome! I hate going to concerts and they sound like crap or not like they do on their albums. I would definitely go see them again. By the time I got home and crawled into bed I had a total of 4 hours of sleep before going to work! Thank goodness it was a short week.

This weekend we took it easy. I had homework but we managed to squeeze in a haunted house up in Ogden, Castle of Chaos. Ummm...this one is not that good. I would recommend buying tickets for all 3 Castles of Chaos haunted houses, cuz for a few dollars more you get all 3. If you just pay for just this one, well..it's a waste of money. We thought there was a carnival. Unless we totally overlooked it, there is no carnival. There are 2 haunted house things that you can walk through. The 3D was decent, and then they have some side shows here and there. Carnival means RIDES. This whole thing is set up in the old JCPenny's building on Riverdale, I guess after JCPenny's it was a Macey's or something.... I dunno. I moved away and came back and now it's a haunted house. So I'm hoping the other two are good. We will see......

September = Busy Month

2011-09-25T20:11:00.000-06:00

Since my last post I've been a busy but happy girl :) I've quit my job at Mesa Systems due to confirmation of being active duty with my guard unit for a year starting 1 Oct. I ended it at Mesa the last week of August. I was always scheduled to work a couple of weeks with my guard unit in September and my Captain asked me if I wanted to go to Ohio for a few days. So I went to Columbus Ohio for a seminar. It was enlightening when it comes to my new tasking but it also showed that it's going to be a lot of hard work.

The following week we did tent building.

And then I road tripped it to Grove OK to visit family and that's where I'm at now :). I've been here for a wee bit, will probably head home in about 3 to 4 days. The road trip wasn't too bad out here. There was some long boring bits...well actually a whole day of it but it's not bad. I've posted all my pictures on facebook.

The best thing about the past few months is that I have a wonderful man in my life. He took me away for my birthday. The last time I lived here I always wanted to go to the Shakespeare Festival down in Cedar City. He didn't tell me what we were doing or where so it was a very nice surprise. I had my guesses but gave up while we were driving down south. He took a detour up to Brian's Head so I was totally confused. It was a great surprise and an awesome get a way!

Back to Ohio.....

2011-08-21T15:51:00.000-06:00

Last week I went back to Wright Patterson AFB in Ohio for a week of training. The training was fine and the people were interesting. It was nice to see the place when it wasn't cold and snowing. Went back to the AF museum because my Cpt that I was traveling with had never been there.

We also went to the Sunwatch Indian Reservation. We got there about an hour before closing and we were the only one's there. We watched a quick video about the Indians and then went out side to check out the village. They had a canoe that I figured was great for a quick photo op which turned out to be a joke for the rest of the day because I thought I could fit in it but apparently as my captain said "my hips are too big according to Indian standards" LOL

After the reservation we went to the Germanfest in Dayton. When we first got there there was pretty much a majority of old people but then the young folks started showing up. We stayed for a little bit and then took off back to the base for some karaoke. It was a good week but I was ready to get home.

Mini Vaca!

2011-07-26T19:09:00.001-06:00

Early last week I was asked by Amanda if I wanted to go hang out in Moab with her. Dave was driving down on Thursday and was going jeeping and then Amanda and I would go down on Friday. I answered with a "I'm in" and then she said I could invite someone which I did :)
So on Friday i got off around 12 and by 2:30 we were off!
It seemed like a quick drive down and it's pretty to go from green, mountains that have lingering snow, to desert mountains. We got settled and had dinner at the local brewery and then called it a night.
The next day we had our free breakfast and headed out to the trail of the day...thank goodness it was pretty tame and had shade along the way. It made for a nice hike.

Morning Glory Bridge

I really enjoyed hiking back, it was like a whole new hike! I noticed things that I didn't pay attention to before. Once we got back we found a nice spot for some food. My friend packed us a lunch of cheese, meat, fruit, wine, and chocolate! He was defiantly winning points with Amanda during this whole trip :) We then did some driving and ended up at the Castle Creek Winery for some wine tasting! I ended up buying two bottles! YUM

Amanda needed a break and she was waiting on Dave to get back from jeeping so we dropped her off, and then went off and did some site seeing. We went into the park and did some quick hikes.

At balancing rock

Double Arches

When we got back I took some time in the jacuzzi and then we checked out the pool before passing out! Hiking, sun, heat.... wears a girl out! The next day after we had breakfast with Amanda and Dave we heading out to hike to Delicate Arch. It's a bit of a hike, no shade, but it was worth it. Pretty awesome!

That's us under the arch!

After a nice like little lunch we were driving back home :( Too short of a weekend for sure! I needed one more day!!!

It was so peaceful during the hikes, it was quiet and at moments when we stopped (and after we regulated our breathing and had a drink) it was so still, quiet.... just beautiful. I had left my crap job behind, I didn't feel stressed, or worried. I was just happy and content.

I need to spend more time in nature!

My Secret Talent

2011-07-16T09:56:00.000-06:00

I get asked this a lot "how come you aren't dating anyone?" Well, right now I have no desire or need to be in a relationship. But the other thing is the quality of guy that randomly talks to me. Yesterday is a good example and my friend got to see my talent in action.

Maybe it's cuz I'm going out and I'm in a funk this weekend so that is what is drawn to me.... men of questionable..., oh hell they are just questionable!

Guy #1, I'm in hell on earth (wal-mart) I don't even know why I went there! Oh yeah, when I was talking to someone else about going shopping I was told to go to Wal Mart cuz they are SO much cheaper. Yes, they are but I also feel like I'm loosing part of my soul AND they don't have over half the stuff I had on my list. I try to buy local, organic, healthy stuff. I got half way through my list and just said "screw it" I'm done with here but not before a guy wanted to chat me up in the cold foods section.

No....I was NOT this lucky :(

Now that I'm thinking about my Wal Mart trip maybe I shouldn't wear this t-shirt:

We all know that a majority of people in Wal Mart take this idea to the extreme!

Well, here I am in the cold foods, checking the eggs to see if they have anything in a 6 pack of organic/hormone/antibiotic free variety (they don't). Then I hear "I like your shirt" and it's a old guy in a wheel chair hooked up to an O2 tank.

"Thanks, one has to have fun in life!" and I move on down to the cheese.

A minute later I'm trying to figure out what coffee creamer I want and wheel chair man zooms on up. "Hey were did you get the tattoo on your leg?"

"Texas, about 16 years ago" back to creamer....

"It doesn't look that old".

"well, you got to take care of your stuff".....time to give up on the creamer and be sociable I guess :P

I then get to hear about him: he is Irish, has more than 10 grand kids that he loves to spoil and leave with their parents, he hangs out with a lot of Hispanics and one owns a tattoo parlor and if he gives them business he gets free tats. He had a handful, he had a half naked senorita on his calf but he never told me his friends' tattoo parlor's name (even though I asked twice), not that I'd go there but since this man is talking to me figured I do some tattoo recon. Gotta know where not to go. So after a few minutes the conversation died and he wheeled away.

Yep, my ego is just bursting with the men I attract!

Oh about a week or so ago at the liquor store I was invited to a hotel party by a homeless guy. I know....you are jealous!

On to the evening festivities. Met with an old coworker at the Green Pig for drinks and dinner. After eating and while we were chit chatting, Kyle #1 comes over and invites us to sit with him at the bar. With that first intro I noticed he was already slurring and he made it clear he was from Iowa, like that was a big thing. Do guys think if they point out that they are from out of state that increases their chances for drunk one night stands?

We thanked Kyle #1 for the invite and we stayed were we were. Well, about 10/15 minutes later and probably a few more drinks on his part he's back over, and here comes the rest of his crew: Kyle #2, Ryan, and the only one that acted sober .... forgot his name so he shall be sober one in this story. Kyle #1 actually lives here and the others just came down to party with their old high school buddy and we found out a few things:

there is nothing to do in Iowa but get drunk and dirt biking,

Kyle #1 hates everyone (he told us he hated us numerous times),

they have already been kicked out of one bar (this was only around 9).

We got a couple of drinks out of these guys so that was good. Ryan was beyond drunk and was even wavering to which the bar tender cut him off and asked us girls if we were o.k. I liked that and will defiantly hang out at the Green Pig more if the bartender is keeping an eye on the ladies :) Well, once a full beer is taken away from a drunk it's game over and apparently the Iowans were too good for the bar and off they went cuz they didn't know that "swaying was illegal". The sober one had a handful with that crew! Good riddance, which was good because Kyle #1 and Ryan had started not being considerate of personal space.

It's back to us our girls and as we were laughing at what just happened we were scoping the area and pointing out the cuties. I saw one: had a 5 o'clock shadow going, cute, dressed nice.... eye contact was made and I'm thinking maybe this night won't be a complete waste and I could have a sensible conversation with a guy. WRONG.

First clue: his friend came over and invited us to go sit with them. I didn't even notice his friend that much and that's always been a pet peeve of mine, if a guy wants to talk to me don't send the friend! But when I tell others this view of mine, mainly to guys, i get the whole "don't be too hard on them" bullshit. So we close out our tabs and think, what the hell and head over to join these guys. Mark, the guy that invited us, was outside talking on the phone so it was just us and Dustin. As soon as he opened his mouth I wanted to get up and run! But we suffered a little bit to be nice. Dustin is a sit there, keep your mouth shut, and look cute type of guy. He had a weirdo laugh, my friend thinks something was "wrong" with him and in the course of our get to know you convo we found out that:

he's taking a break from life (apparently he had a really bad break up among other things)

he's dad is a veterinarian-I heard this first so that was some potential of something but nope....not following in Daddy's footsteps

.....his friend Mark, eventually came back and he actually has a job in commercial real estate but by that time we were done and we made our exit!

So there you have it, one of my talents when it comes to men. The men that have the "balls" to talk to me are old, homeless, "special", or drunk as F*ck!

It makes for an interesting life for sure!

You're IT!

2011-07-09T10:10:00.001-06:00

On the days that I'm not so rudely woken up by my alarm clock I get to play tag with the sun. With each weekend night that keeps me up passed 1am, I'm getting better at this game. I've been holding strong and have yet to purchase a window a/c unit and there have been some rough nights but then a storm will come in and I'm good again. But in the morning.....

This is my bedroom at around 9am (yep I slept in today). Not sure if I wasn't too blasted by the morning sun or I'm getting better at the avoidance but either way I feel like I won this morning. You may be thinking "why don't you close your blinds?!" to which I point out I HAVE NO A/C and any breeze that I can get I'm going to utilize but come 7am I'm scooting this way and that way so I am not cooking in my own bed. Sometimes I got some clouds that play defense but other times, it's useless and I have to get up. Which isn't bad, it just means a nap is in my future :)

I usually have pics from my holidays but nothing from this last 4th :( but it was a busy weekend! Friday night started at the Green Pig for a pretty good blues band and some killer nachos :D Then we closed down the Tavernacle before heading home and chit chatting till 530 am! I was up the next morning, or later that day at 730 due to my game of tag. I lost :( Oh well, misery loves company and I woke up my couch guest by making coffee and we slowly woke up with our java talking some more until he left. Needless to say that was a lazy day but that evening it was off to Wiseguy's with the girls! Good show, good company, good drinks, and good greasy club food. After the show we went off to the Green Pig for a few more drinks and as it turned out some good ol' eye candy! YUM. Sunday came and I packed a bag and headed over to the Brown's. Once I got there we packed a cooler of snacky snacks, some adult beverages disguised as tea and lemonade and off to the pool. It was a wonderful, lazy day. Monday, the 4th, the Brown's had a few folks over and we hung out, ate, and drank for a nice day.

I did notice that 4 days of drinking, not so good for me. By Monday I started to feel the looming meh/funk but I soldiered on and it's all good!

Regardless of the meh/funk weekend hangover I had a great weekend! The joy of living downtown, I can and did walk everywhere Friday night:)

AWESOME!

I had a good week doing week 1 of my 2 week annual tour. I worked on briefings and next week...well it's inventory time in a hanger. Can you say hot and sweaty?! It's good for the soul right, a good sweaty purge! LOL The great thing about doing my days is they do 10 hr days and are off on Friday :) That's the best schedule EVER! Yesterday I was productive and did some major cleaning and now my weekend is free for fun and whatevers!

So, last night I was suppose to meet a past coworker for dinner, drinks, and catch up but due to other things we rescheduled. No worries, my friend came down and we had dinner and a movie. Went and saw Horrible Bosses, GREAT movie. Well, maybe I liked it cuz I really don't like my current job but it was funny! Came back here and chit chatted till 2ish again. Tonight I got the Kenny Chesney concert and then maybe tomorrow the Avett Brothers at the galavan center!

Yep, life is good!

day by day

2011-06-25T08:23:00.000-06:00

What a couple of weeks. But as a good adult, a responsible adult, I've made it through yet another week of work! For those that are within talking distance have gotten an ear full on my job and what I think about it. To put it bluntly-the management needs to pull their heads out of their ass! They cannot continue to run their business with good quality customer care with the manning that they have.

It's Saturday and yesterday is behind me along with the rest of the work week so on to good stuff.

This weekend is the Utah Arts Festival and it kicked of Thursday night. I had a friend that was town bound (he lives WAY up by the base :P ) so he met me at my place and after a quick change out of work clothes we were on our way. It was a great night. We talked a lot, we have similar jobs, and it helps me have a better understanding of my job because it's not like my coworkers are this open and helpful about things in gaining the whole picture. I always like looking at the art and the people. Last time I went it wasn't as big as it is this year! They got a big stage set up. We heard some folk singers while sitting on a curb chatting and watching people.

side note: why do girls wear high heals to something they are going to do a lot of walking at?! don't get it!

Had some good food and then ended the night with some good ol' Irish music! I had to laugh cuz wherever I go I seem to find some good Irish band :) Thursday night was the Young Dubliners. The had some good stuff but I was reminded of Hawaii's Dooln' Rakes. I found out there is a Irish Music Festival up in Ogden at the end of July! WOOT :D

I had to break down and buy some fans yesterday on my way home from work. the mercury is rising and I needed some comfort and air flow in my apartment. It's getting warm but it will give me a reason to go roam the streets, get out and do stuff. I need to enjoy this summer, come September I'm going to be hitting the books again!

Before I get on with my lovely Saturday I'm going to post a couple of poems from this past week, I tend to write when I'm in a low. So, if you're feeling good from my post go ahead a stop reading :P

smile
be funny
all is well
let me be your cheer
Don't you know
Can't you see
I'm barely holding on
This smile
not mine
just a remembrance
weak
tired
done
can i use some strength
for me

not take calls-

it's ME

are you tired?

are you sane?

just let me hear your voice

i promise

no complaining

I'll be happy

I'll tell jokes

I'll tell you it will be better

I'll listen

I'll be positive

You won't know my pain

my fears

my low

I promise

I won't be me

day by day

2011-06-25T08:21:00.000-06:00

not take calls-

it's ME

are you tired?

are you sane?

just let me hear your voice

i promise

no complaining

I'll be happy

I'll tell jokes

I'll tell you it will be better

I'll listen

I'll be positive

You won't know my pain

my fears

my low

I promise

I won't be me

team player

2011-06-22T20:14:00.001-06:00

The more time I work in the civilian sector the more I realize how much of an individualistic society the United States is. I've discussed this in college classes, compared us against other cultures who place more importance on the group but it's always been just discussed. Lately, it's been becoming obvious to me in the work place how individualistic we are.

In the military it's a team effort. There are still individualistic goals that one pursues but when it comes to the job it's a team effort. When there is a influx of people not passing physical fitness, those people are not zeroed out... it's a team effort, we are all out there before the sun rises working out. We grumble, complain, and say "it's not fair" but at the end of the day we are in it together. The work load increases, we all stay behind and work. We have each other's backs, we support each other, and we help to get the job done so we can all go home or we can all go and have a drink at the club. :P We work hard together so we can play hard together.

It's hard to mentally get use to the individualistic mentality in the workplace. But a couple of times being screwed over, or shunned (either on purpose or not), I'm done and I'll keep an eye out for me. If a coworker looks bad cuz I know how to play the game better... well that's not my fault. I've given options, offered help, and pointed out when there is a meeting that we must attend. I'm done.

It's sad that we are like this. I'd think we'd be better as a society if we would not be so individualistic in the work place. I know, it's what makes America great... anyone can work hard and make something of themselves. But what good is that if you're all alone. I personally get a better feeling from working as a team to get things done. Knowing that I have someone's back and someone has mine in case I miss something. It's healthier to be able to bounce things off of others at work, to have that good camaraderie at work.

If something comes up, work wise, that is a better opportunity for me....it won't be hard to give 2 weeks.

a little too much

2011-06-18T14:01:00.000-06:00

It's been a hard couple of weeks. I won't go into detail but I've been exhausted emotionally and physically. It didn't help that it was my 12 day work week with my drill weekend. I'm working about 10+ hrs daily at my job and I feel as though I don't get anything accomplished so that doesn't help me emotionally and then there has been some family stressors.

I had a fainting spell a couple of weeks ago too. I'm not a stranger to fainting, I did it a lot growing up. In church I'd lock my knees and pass out. I'm a professional. I know when it's coming and sometimes I can deal with it and not totally go out. This last bout didn't go so well and it just seemed wrong to me. I've had two bouts of fainting in one year. Not cool... so I went to the doctor to get some basic labs done.

Well, I'm anemic. It's not abnormal for females. Now I can just hear it, it's cuz you are a vegetarian now! Well, it may be but I'm not going to put that down for the root cause of my anemia. I wasn't a big red meat eater in the first place. Plus my parents had always thought I was anemic with my lack of energy, cold hands, and fainting spells but I guess my levels were always good so it was never a concern. I think I may have been toeing the anemic line my whole life and yes...with my diet change I've crossed it. But then there is a lot of female vegetarians out there that do just fine so I just need to get my body back in balance.
We'll see how the iron supplements go, and if I don't feel better and there is still a problem then I'll rethink the vegetarian thing.

It's not good to be getting into summer and have no energy. :( I woke up, had a lazy morning and then heading out with the plan of checking out the Gateway. Do a little window shopping and take the trax home before going over to the Brown's for the evening. I made it a few blocks away. I had a nice lunch, checked out a book store, bought some things and made it home. I'm exhausted :(

A nap is in order.

Granted I was up late going to the comedy show and then chit chatting till 1 or something.... but still. I'm physically exhausted. This is not cool! I may need and In & Out Burger :P

da job

2011-06-03T18:22:00.000-06:00

Alright. I've been with this new job 4 weeks now. Been through a hell week and things have calmed down a little. I still don't have enough hours in the day and every day something new comes up that I have no clue how to deal with. It's a learning process and I'm doing the best I can. Yes, I stress and worry about things that I didn't do or that I did. I'm doing the best that I can.
This past week was hard. Even though it was a short week every day I would wake up and lay in bed for over an hour trying to mentally give myself a pep talk to make it to work. I went to work, I made it, I didn't die, and no one else was harmed but it was a mental struggle.

Here's my advice for any managers out there:
-do not hire someone during the busiest time of the year, PLAN AHEAD...I have to!
-do not hire someone during said busy time of year, train them for a couple of weeks and have their trainer leave for a week
-do not expect great customer service when you
a)do weird things to get the job in the first place to service it and then act surprised or frustrated that it's not working how it should
b)take on so many customers that your customer service rep does not have the time during a normal work day to do quality service and spends 90% of the time just trying to handle the paperwork that goes with said customers
-don't give your workers the stink eye when they work over time to give good customer service and you have to pay them for the overtime
-don't say you'll handle something only to give it to the new person who is still trying to get caught up with all the other orders that were allocated

these are just some pointers.... just saying.

Depression

2011-05-22T19:22:00.000-06:00

Depression like anything else in life is hard to describe to people that haven't "been there". For those that know me, know that I battle depression. I've done meds. I've done therapy. I've done acupuncture. I've done stuff that I don't even remember what it's called in hopes to have this beast gone from my life. The beast is not gone, it never will be, and everyone is different in what works for them to keep the depression in check. I've found my niche and so far so good! I have my moments but these moments no longer cripple me. I know how to deal and I know how to cope. I wish I could say I will never visit the darkest corners of depression again...I probably will but I have more ammunition that before.

The reason for this post is not cuz I got blind sided by depression but someone I dearly love is in a major battle right now. It's killing me because there is nothing I can do, not where I'm at now. The only thing I can do is send good peaceful vibes across the universe to her and pray that she finds her way and begins to reach out to those who care, to start accepting the love and support that is all around her.

Depression is physically and mentally exhausting. Depression is like being in a room with no doors and you don't know how you got there, the floor is mud, and there is that one window that looks out to the world you want to be a part of. You can see out, maybe ever interact with people through the window but moving towards that window is physically exhausting, your feet get stuck in the mud and the more you struggle the more tired you become and you begin to give up. It's so much easier to just sit in the mud. It's easier to sit there in your own thoughts, in your own reality and not move. Then your evil ego starts to beat you up, "what are you doing?! go to the window, open it, join everyone else. you are SUPPOSE to be out there. you are SUPPOSE to be happy. there is NO REASON why you are here. there is nothing physically wrong with you. there are worst people off than you. You are lazy. Can't you do anything? You don't need to ask for help, everyone else has their own stuff to deal with, their own life. You want to burden them with what? you feeling blue? What a waste! Just go open the window" You struggle and try to go to the window but your feet are 100 lbs, the window is so far away, it's just easy to sit there in the mud....

Depression is the ultimate joker. You're debilitated, defeated, and don't know what to do. BUT YOU DO KNOW! The answers are within you. The power to defeat this thing is within you. Yes, medications are sometimes needed to mentally check you and refocus and keep you on the path but maintenance and the daily battle is within you. There is no medication that totally takes this beast away...there never is because YOU have to do the work, you have to do the hard work, the mental work, the physical work to keep this thing in line. And when you finally realize this and you look back you want to kick yourself for being so clueless.

Take the shoes off, rejoice in the feeling of the mud between your toes, play like a child in a puddle and make your way to that window. It's one step at a time and that window.... well, it's just one easy latch and you are breathing in that fresh air.

You're out and in control and the next time, cuz there will be a next time, you'll notice the warning signs...you'll be proactive in keeping the beast in check.

And sometimes it's a daily battle but the strength to get out of bed, to notice the gifts of the world, to appreciate a flower in bloom, the smell of fresh cut grass or baked bread, a dog licking your face... it's all within us to notice and appreciate them We can focus on our own negative thoughts or we can look outward and refresh our positive views and then we can look at ourselves in a positive light.

It's a balancing act, it's a dance I dance daily and I am finally learning the steps! I am just praying that my friend, my loved one is still hearing the music and begins to dance!

warning venting ahead

2011-05-20T21:04:00.001-06:00

Alright, the other day I blogged about my new job. How it was going well, good people... etc. etc.
Well, it's still full of good people BUT going well...that's up for debate.
I've work with my trainer for the past few weeks. She's been great but today she left for a week vacation. She's shown me the basics but there is a lot of the job that wasn't covered and now it's CRAZY!
My hours that were discussed during my hiring was 8-5 and due to my military background I'm hard working and don't like leaving at the end of the day when there is tons of work to do.
I need to switch my mindset.
I went in early today, I was there at 730 because I knew I'd have a ton of emails and stuff to do and with just me to do it. I left work at 630! WHAT THE FUCK?! Oh and today I got my first pay check and overtime is $7.50! Is that normal? No, it's not $7.50+my hourly rate just a blanket $7.50. Again WTF?!
So, why did I work 11 hours today?
Let me break down my job. We have a salesperson, who is a nice guy, who goes out and accepts these military orders. Once we get "awarded" these shipments we process said shipment. Now this process isn't extremely easy. If it's short notice we need to get approval from our big whatever, it's a TAG request. Actually since it's peak move season everything has to go through TAG. If it's approved we can go forward with the registration and process said order and I won't go through all those steps. Let me just say it's not one step, it involves a few databases so it's not a minute job. If TAG rejects... well that's a whole other story. Now, by it's self not a big process but when you multiply this process by over 20 orders in one day it gets mind boggling. OH did I mention I am answering phones, updated weights of shipments, handling mover calls that have questions, trying to get shipments released out non temp storage, send out paperwork to origin agents blah blah fuckn blah!
I cannot even TELL you the number of emails I get in one day! Oh and we were suppose to have the acceptance of these orders blacked out (so we don't accept them) but there was a problem and in a course of one day we get up to 20 awarded shipments that we have to handle.... on top of everything else. Oh and once we get the shipment we are the move coordinators so that means we are calling the customer before the move, during the move, and after the move at a minimum. We have to call our agents that are packing the customer, and hauling the customer. Driver's are calling us for confirmation numbers to put goods in storage, to deliver to the customer, or to give us weights. Origin agents are asking for paperwork and I have at least 3 data bases that I am updating for each order!
REALLY? $7.50 overtime?!

Oh.... the people are nice :P

update: figured out the over time business. It's all good and yes this was a vent with a bottle of wine. Tomorrow is monday, it's a new day and I'm going to do my best like I always do. I will keep a good attitude and take it one day at a time. :P

New job.... two weeks ago

2011-05-15T19:13:00.000-06:00

O.k. I'm late on the latest and greatest news. I got a new job and I start week three tomorrow... that is if I don't call in sick. I've had a a head cold since Thursday. I probably would be on my way to feeling better but this weekend was my guard weekend and even though I left early today getting up early and playing war isn't conducive to getting to feeling better. Must I mention that instead of a mile and a half run we did an insanity work out DVD and today I feel as though my thighs and gluteus maximus is going to catch a fire every time I move... again it doesn't help my body heal when I'm beating it up with some insane ass work out! But this post is about my new job :P

Nope... it's not a medical job.

I am a move coordinator. I was recommended by someone I worked with about 5 years ago at Hill AFB when I did some reserve days with the Traffic Management Office. I went on an interview and was very honest about my background in that I only worked in TMO at Hill for about 6 months and that was years ago. But apparently they were happy with my interviews and my recommendation. So ta da I have a new job :) and the pay is better too!

What I am doing is coordinating the moves of military members. We get an order and I get to orchestrate the whole thing, all over the continental United States. This past week I've talked to military members in Alaska, Virginia, California, and Texas just to name a few areas. It's not an easy job. There are a lot of programs to work with, a lot of data to keep, a lot of people to talk to... it IS an orchestration!

At the end of the week my trainer is going on vacation for a week and I'm already stressing about it. It seems to be my luck, I start a job and before I know it I'm left to my own devices. There are other move coordinators at the job but none of them specialize in the military moves, and well... the military is special ;) So next week I'm going to be overly stressed :(

But... so far so good. They seem to be a good group of folks that I work with. They work hard but they have a good laugh every now and then too. It is cubical work, a lot of time on the phone but it's not torture. This job gives me a little bit more freedom and wiggle room than my last job when it comes to work hours. Right now it's set for the typical 8-5, but in the interviews when I talked about school they mentioned how some folks come in earlier or later depending on things going on. SO... I made an appointment with the guidance counselor at a school near bye to get some information about moving forward with my master's degree.

Easter

2011-04-29T18:26:00.000-06:00

The night before Easter Sunday I baked cupcakes. That was my duty given to me by Marcia for the Brown's Easter get together. I take my duties seriously. Look at these beauties! I'd like to draw your attention to the old stove with the push buttons.

Easter Sunday I got up and got to decorating. They make it so easy but I'm was getting a finger cramp from making the fancy little decorations.

So, for the mess ups... a solid smear of icing and or a Peep, which I found out are pretty gross! Really! Who really eats those things?

So I leave my apartment and as I come to the first light some older gentleman is waving his keys and money at me. I lock my doors and roll down my windows a wee bit. The guy needed a ride up the road to his truck with a dead battery. The buses weren't running and low and behold I give the man a ride.

Now get this, it's Easter and I give a ride to Abraham from Egypt :P

To point out he wasn't a total weirdo/creep when I stopped to get gas he got out of the car and waited outside, so he was respectful. He's been in Utah for awhile and back in Egypt he use to do tours for folks around the pyramids! Yep, I got his number! I gave him my email. Apparently he lives right around me and knows the neighbor lady with a big yard next to my apartment complex. She's from Lybia and likes his Egyptian meals he cooks (their kids play together). I told him next time he cooks up some Egyptian food to shoot me an email and I'll be there! YUM

2011-04-23T17:45:00.000-06:00

One thing about living in the city, living near everything means I live near EVERYTHING! I do a lot of walking. Salt Lake City is a pretty laid back city for walking around, even on a Saturday but I have yet to go for a walk and not have a conversation/interaction with someone that I believe is homeless. I'm not bothered by this. I'm never scared, but after these interactions I walk away and my mind and heart feel heavy.

Most of the time the interactions are limited, maybe a "hello" "how are you". One day I was informed in front of the Catholic church that pigeons once cleaned and fried taste just like fried chicken. I thank him for the information and I skipped letting him know that I was a recent convert to the vegetarian clan.

I have come to know the corners, shopping areas, and parking lots where they will do their panhandling. When I walk by I make eye contact, try to give a friendly look and go on my way. I'm always flooded with thoughts.

On today's walk I was approached by a gentleman asking for money. He had a story and I felt for him, but he didn't make a lot of sense in his ramblings. He started off talking about how he worked at the VA (I'm thinking he meant he goes to the VA), that they (him and his wife, his wife was over across the street at the Burger King so I didn't actually see her) couldn't get in to any shelters. He has some medical problems and I could see he did have something going on with swelling in his legs/ankles (he was a skinny man so it was obvious that there was swelling) and his hand was good and swollen also. According to him he punched a Mexican in the mouth for disrespecting his women. Commendable but now he seems to have a useless hand.

So he had some visible issues but I'm banking he had more mental ones to go along with them. They just needed some money so they can get a room, a bed, get cleaned up, and take care of some marital business that they haven't been able to in awhile. He says he's been in SLC for years and never has been homeless or had to ask for money. By the looks of him, I wonder if he's lost track of time. I told him that I wished him all the best but I had nothing to give and off I went.

Off I went to my apartment, with food in the fridge and hot water.

I am saddened by the disparities.

I find it sad that you can not trust people. You can't trust people who come to you in need. In India we were briefed not to give to anyone! Not to the children, not to the women with a baby on her hip asking for money so she can buy milk for her baby, no one, no how. Nine times out of ten it's a sham. The children are working for someone else, the money does not go to their family or to food it goes to a rich pimp. The money for the milk will never reach the baby's lips. Most people in the U.S. won't give to the panhandlers because they feel as though the money just goes to drugs or alcohol. I've heard of working people, dressing as homeless and panhandling because the money was good.

It seems as if we all toe the line of the norms of society. We are all a lost job, a mental break away from being homeless. It may be over simplified but look at how may people lost their jobs and their homes with the economy? Then, once homeless it seems like it's a struggle to get back into society.

While in Hawaii I picked up this book at the library, Land of the Lost Souls. It's about a homeless man in the city. He had a wife, kids, a good job and then little by little it was gone and he was living on the streets. He was too embarrassed to ask for help from friends and family and then, well it was just easier to be on his own. He didn't panhandle, he collected and recycled cans. That was his job and it was enough for him.

Google yourself!

2011-04-23T08:43:00.000-06:00

So the girls at work have been having a chuckle at my Mr Tigger story. I mentioned yesterday about my blog post and one coworker said "Can he see your blog" I said no but then she went into a first date horror story about the guy googling her before the date and bought something up during their first date! A little on the weird side, and no she did not go out with him again.
So this morning I googled myself and I changed some things around. Most things that pop up I'm not overly concerned about: twitter, and my blog post from my volunteer trip to India but I did change some things so this blog doesn't automatically pop up.

Technology... a blessing and a curse!

Riddle me this....

2011-04-17T09:17:00.000-06:00

What grown man wears a sweatshirt with Tigger on it for a first date?

Come on Utah? You can do better than this! Thanks for the interesting evening LOL

Aaaah Spring

2011-04-16T08:36:00.000-06:00

I woke this morning to a lively discussion between birds outside my window. Living on the 4th floor allows me a up close and personal connection to my feathered friends :) There are worse ways to be awaken in the morning so I'll take the music of nature over my alarm clock any day.
It is officially spring, and has been for a couple of weeks but for those of us in Utah.... mother nature likes to tease us. Warm weather one day and then snow the next. It keeps the ski resorts in business, but I'm ready to bust out in capri's, flip flops, and some tank tops!

Holi Festival

2011-03-27T09:21:00.001-06:00

Early this week Marcia emailed me asking me if I wanted to check out the Holi Festival. Without a second thought my response was a "HELL YEAH"! I then checked it out on line for the simple fact that I would never think this would be that big of a thing here in Utah, especially a good distance from Salt Lake City.
I am happy to be wrong!
One of the meanings behind the Holi Festival is to say good bye to winder and hello to spring with all the colors it brings, it's a spring festival. There are reports of the festival going back as far as the 7th century!
The plan was to head south early but due to other circumstances we didn't head down till around 1.
After driving around Spanish Fork, due to bad directions, we saw a line of cars and a bus and followed them and there we were. Dressed in clothes that we didn't mind getting dirty, not frilly or cute.... ready for fun.
I was amazed at all the people that were there! I was not expected that at all! This was walking up to the Lotus Temple.

We got there just before a major throwing of the colors. They did this every two hours....give or take. This girl's blog shows the colors awesomely!

These pictures I borrowed from MSNBC: I love the kid in the photo, such fun!

And of course....COLORS!

It never fails to amaze me to be around so many people just having fun! You can't help but be happy, joyful, and just at peace even amidst the crowds. You'd be walking around and feel a splat of color on your back, or the side of your cheek. Little kids tossed colors, cuz what kid doesn't like making a mess! This was a chance for everyone to head back to those carefree days. It was a huge canvas of color!

I'm going to try and make it back every year!

We didn't buy any color while we were there, well... Marcia asked a random girl if we could buy a packet off of her ($2 more than the regular price but that's not bad) so we did throw some and that's the main fun. But you can stand in the midst of the crowd and just get covered!

The sun is shining, blue skies are above and the mountains are picture perfect with the new snow. Time to head outside and enjoy the day!

random 5am and I'm wide awake

2011-03-20T09:12:00.000-06:00

A weekend I'm not working and I wake up around 5am, wide awake! What the hell?! I check the March Madness bracket, email, FB and bust out a poem before going back to sleep. I guess I needed to empty some stuff out on paper :)

My past
is your place
Now, today, my future
Has no room
I gave
You took
disrespect in return
I asked for
truth
respect
closure
Actions yelled
louder than any false words
I heard
cried
accepted
I moved forward
My past is your place
Stay

found

2011-03-19T06:15:00.001-06:00

I'm trying to get organized, settled, unpacked, and well...just getting my life livable all the while I'm living my life. Needless to say, the organizing and settling is going slow. I unpacked two more boxes last night! I love my new bed! Not only is it comfortable but that extra storage is awesome!

I was looking for something and came across this poem on my iPad. I wrote it when I was moving out here to Utah on a plane looking out the window.

Veins of my mother

Above dried life streams
I see veins reaching
But find nothing
Life is diverted for
Corporations greed
for a lush green lawn
Of the privileged few
When above do they not notice
Do they not feel
The parchment of their mother
The cry deafens me

Back to me

2011-03-15T19:14:00.000-06:00

For the past month and a half my life has been hectic. I've moved into a new place, Mom came for a visit, worked pretty much every other weekend, bought furniture, had furniture delivered, and then put that furniture together, house sat, and even battled a head cold. After working this past weekend and house sitting once I got home Monday after work I was just drained, physically and due to that was mentally toeing the line to depression. When I get exhausted and overwhelmed it's just a minute or two before depression is knocking at my door wanting to come in. I know this, I know the signs, I know my thoughts are increasingly getting depressed and negative.
I choose not to allow this to go any further.
I woke up this morning planning to go run before work, BUT with the stupid time change it's still dark out when I got up. So I just hit snooze for a good hour and half. Not a good start to fighting my depression.
Then work started off rough.
My coworker was going to be a few hours late and I was covering doing MA work. No big deal but the first patient was a type of patient I hadn't dealt with before. Things were needed to be set up, medication found, syringes and needles put together. Now I know my way around a needle and syringe (I was a immunization tech for 10yrs) but I was not trained on the specifics of what was needed. I HATE not knowing something, being unprepared, and just all around looking like I failed in this area. But things worked out, they always do. I just hate not being prepared :( After that hiccup the day settled into it's normal Tuesday.
But that hectic morning, took me out of my mental negativity and gave me a mental jump start back to normalcy. Not sure why but it worked.
I got home and changed and went for a jog. This is the first time I have roamed the streets and got to check out some stuff (even if it was while running). I went town bound (it's down hill) and appreciated the old houses and the little places that I never really get to notice while I'm driving to work. I eventually had to turn around and head back uphill but I just walked back :)
Came home and made some spinach/cheese ravioli with some fresh carrots and garlic alfredo sauce. Yep, I'm sticking to the no meat thing.
Is it helping me feel better and battle my negative moods?
Who knows but I am feeling better, lighter and even more aware of my food. Plus I'm having fun experimenting in the ways of cooking :D

Furniture Assembly

2011-03-05T06:08:00.000-07:00

Alright here's the deal. When I moved into my cute little apartment I moved with no furniture. I have a built in kitchen table which is being used for a computer desk as of right now. I really don't need that much room to eat, and my dinner guest have been limited to one at a time. I have an air mattress with a cushy top, along with a down mattress top so it wasn't unbearable.
Well, Ikea is in town and they have some "easy to put together" in my price range furniture. So I get to shopping.
Last week while Mom was here I had my couch delivered. That was put together in a short amount of time, I would say less than two hours. Mom had a new bed to sleep on and I now had somewhere to sit in my living room besides a yoga mat. The other things I wanted to buy during our Ikea venture: mattress, bed, dresser... were not available but the guy said we could probably get them ordered online. Good enough!

We didn't make it to Ikea the day I wanted for shopping but ended up at Trolley Square and I saw a lovely bed frame, so no Ikea bed frame... but the way I look at it you cannot be stingy when it comes to how your bed looks or feels right?!

Anyhoo.... last night my mattress and dressers were delivered. WHOOHOO It's Friday night and I'm FINALLY going to get my clothing in dressers and off of cardboard boxes. AND I get to sleep on a actual mattress.

I make room for dresser assembly which means moving all my clothes on my couch (which already had folded laundry on it) and onto my packaged covered mattress.
Time for business. Open the dressers and check out the instructions and this is what I need:

Notice how the little dude is smiling? Not a lot of that going on in this house hold. Being the "badass wahine" that a friend said I am, I had these tools in my tool box :)

So it's time to get down to business. But there are a lot of screws and apparently my Phillip's head was stripped so it was no good....hmmm

Ah HA my cordless screw driver. So this is the new requirements....

Or course my life isn't that easy and both batteries are pretty much dead. I try charging and I'm worried that they batteries are dead dead. On the charger it has picture explanations for the red light. Long blink = charging, steady red = charged, fast blinks = dead dead.

I haven't charged or used this thing in well over 4 years so I had no idea what was considered a long "blink".

I was starting to feel defeated and frustrated.

When I looked at my apartment this is what I saw:

This is box 1 of 2 open and splayed out, noticed the mattress (yes it's under the clothes and dresser parts) still in it's original packaging.

My lovely couch, also covered in discarded bedding and clothing. SO even if I wanted to give this adventure a good nights rest, and tackle the dresser assembly in the morning... I would have to figure out where to put all my freakn' stuff cuz I would have to sleep somewhere.

Hmmm and I don't like giving up....

So I mess around on FB, IM with some folks, who so gallantly say they would put together my dressers if they were here (thanks but THAT'S NO FKN' HELP, even though the thought of one of them doing it without his shirt was a nice mental break ;), and text with other people. I would go and look at my rooms and feel frustrated, defeated, and just tired all over again.

But wait the fast or not so fast blinking light is now a stable red!

EUREKA I HAVE MY POWER TOOL!

Time to show this dresser who is the boss!

A couple of hours later:

And just a little bit longer:

I am woman with power tools! Hear me ROAR!

I cleaned off my bed, unwrapped it, made it and had a wonderful sleep on my mattress! BUT I woke up at 5am :( So I wrote this.

Today I get to tackle another dresser but it's smaller AND I got this down!

On Monday my bed frame is getting delivered but they are putting it together themselves AND taking away all the packaging! WOOT

Maybe I'll be lucky and they'll noticed this stack and take it too?!

Making the Leap

2011-03-03T19:38:00.000-07:00

Since I've moved into my own place I've attempted to make the leap into a no meat diet. No, I'm not a non-shaving eco freak but I do want to be healthy and I want to make less of a negative impact on this great earth.
It's been a weird and challenging change.
Going shopping and keeping the no meat thought in mind was interesting the first time. You realize how much processed food is out there, how MUCH you get (not conducive to a single diner), and well.... I even laughed out loud at myself walking the ailes in Wally World. I thought "oooh tuna is a quick meal" DUH... tune is meat! LOL
When Mom was out she pointed out that I give a lot of thought to my purchases. I guess I do. Even before this change I would try to buy local, things that were more earth friendly, and well... whatever is a lesser of two evils. So unfortunately when I go shopping by myself I spend a lot of time thinking, picking up objects, looking at the ingredients etc. before dropping it in my cart. I don't like shopping, but I do like feeling good about my purchases.

I'm also getting comfortable in the kitchen. I realized tonight that I'm not a follow a recipe to the letter type of gal. I started off with a recipe but then winged it as I started cooking, I would smell a spice.... Yep that smells like it will go, how about some feta.... why not?! Cut up some fresh organic carrots, broccoli, with some pasta, garlic and wha la! Dinner! It was fun and the wine didn't hurt at all:)

Talking to a friend tonight I informed her of this new change in my life. She made sure I wasn't becoming some psycho tree hugging hairy hippy (I assured her I wasn't) and then she gave me a virtual pat on the back. I then told her about my vegetarian recipe hunting frustration the other night... everything looked like mush! Gross! This friend runs a farm and I helped out this past summer and one night after helping out on the farm we had the most wonderful dinner! Everything was fresh! We had fish that was caught in their pond! Awesome! I want to eat like that on a regular basis. There was no need to add all this extra stuff, the food it's self was flavorful on it's own. So, she's going to hook me up with some ideas and some recipes. Once again, when we are open about our lives... others want to help, relate, and just share in the experience.

Eating this way takes time and planning. I just can't have the minute meal and I'm good to go. Fast food is not part of the vocabulary. Granted there are some good microwavable vegetarian dishes out there, I've tried them, but I want to stay away from that as much as possible. Today for lunch at work I had a microwavable meal but it was udon soup with tofu and other seasoning....we had some left over croutons that I tossed in and I was good :)

Unfortunately work is a challenge. We always have treats: chocolate covered pretzels (big ones), mini candy bars, apple streusel... and that was just today! Ugh... so tonight I'm going to make sure I have some healthy snacks that I can take to work and when the chocolate calls... well, I'll answer once but that's it!

"What the hell" visit from my Mom!

2011-03-01T08:01:00.000-07:00

Actually it wasn't like that completely.
A couple of weeks ago in the morning I was messing around on FB and was putting out there events I was attending. The SLC Tattoo convention was going on this past Saturday and I've always wanted to go to one. Well, I was planning on going solo...not a lot of interest from those around me but Mom and I started talking about it (this was a Wednesday). Next thing I know she's flying out Saturday to hang out with me for a week and go with me to the convention!
AWESOME!

Now, the convention wasn't what we thought it would be. Not sure what we had in mind but both of us were like "meh" about the whole thing. We both left wanting new tattoos though. The best part of the day was running into and meeting Shanghai Kate. We were walking by her booth and she was working on someone.
"Hey Mom, check her out!" She has white hair and is an older lady! I thought it was great to see her working there. So we started checking out her table and a young cute guy working there starts talking to us. We noticed all the Sailor Jerry stuff and we were drawn in some more. Turns out Shanghai Kate apprenticed with Sailor Jerry, she has the rights to his work, and has some original flash of his that she's selling and a book he wrote. I bought the book! Mom bought something for Dad. Dad has a Sailor Jerry tattoo :) Once we got home I got online to check out her and she is a fascinating women. A gypsy if there ever was one. Right now she is based out of Alaska but also spends a lot of time in Hawaii. She travels everywhere. My type of woman! I also read about the whole Ed Hardy mess who is making money touting Sailor Jerry stuff, saying it's family owned! LIE and Sailor Jerry Rum.... he didn't drink so it's not his recipe, another LIE! If you want Sailor Jerry things, go through Shangai Kate's page!

Sunday we were going to go to Ikea so I could get my furniture. Well, the snow prevented that so we walked to Trolley Square. I saw a bed I loved at Pottery Barn, came home and ordered it. Yep, it's a far cry from Ikea but a bed is one of the most important things in your house right?! ;) We made it to Ikea on Monday after work and Tuesday evening....couch delivered and assembled :) Now just a few more essential pieces of furniture and I'll be good to go!

All "have to have" furniture has been bought, but not yet delivered :( In the next week I should have everything. Mom had lunch with her cousin that lives out here. They had a good time and she gives 2 thumbs up to Curry in a Hurry. I've driven past it numerous times so I'll have to check it out now!

On Monday Mom went and ventured SLC. She went walking and I think the original plan was to check out the capitol. Well, she got side tracked. She saw the hospital signs so decided to check out where I worked up in the Avenues. Little did she know.... it's a freakn' hike up that hill! She was worn out! But she had a good time. Didn't make it to the capitol, wasn't about to walk down that hill just to hike up it again!

Well, I dropped Mom off at the airport yesterday morning :( She's back home in OK and I'm getting back into my routine. Monday night = laundry LOL, doing yoga in the am, getting my coffee and updating my blog before work :P
I'm SO looking forward to this coming weekend. No alarms will be going off, I don't HAVE to do anything as of right now. I'm going to enjoy myself :)

I miss having my parents so close to me, I love them so but this is where I need to be for now. The future is funny and who knows what will happen!

... from Love to Shamrocks :)

2011-02-17T20:55:00.000-07:00

I made it! I made it through as one friend renamed it, Singles Appreciation Day, aka Valentine's Day :P Not that I was worried about it but one can't go through this month without noticing the over abundance of hearts, red, pink, chocolate, and roses that are splayed everywhere!

I've gone through a lot since Hawaii and I am better, way better mentally and emotionally that I have ever been. I am enjoying this single time in my life. I get to really take the time to figure out and enjoy who I am.

The day passed with some nice Valentines wishes, and that was it. I did get a gift from my awesome Marcia. I enjoyed hearing the stories of my coworkers, of their plans to celebrate the holiday with their husbands (yep I'm the only single one). I was happy.

I am happy :D

You know you are over past relationships when you can hear certain songs and even bands without quickly changing the radio station or if you can't, striking up a conversation as to distract yourself from the music. I'm talking about those relationships that rip you in two, kick you while you are in the fetal position, and stomp on your chest for good measure. I don't get those emotional flash backs anymore. I may get a gut check but it passes on the breeze, and I'm moving on. I can hear these trigger songs and think back fondly on the past relationships. I don't get all melancholy trying to figure out what went wrong... I just smile and then go on with my day. Whatever it was was obviously not met to be and I'm fine with that.

My time will come and it will be awesome!

Random apartment stuff

2011-02-03T17:58:00.000-07:00

I've been in my new digs for a total of 4 nights and here's what we got:
I know how to break into my apartment. Yep, I got the whole locking one self out while doing laundry out of the way. Not doing that again.
Keeping true to my form, walked to the store... weird people talked to me. But I love all the diversity while I'm out and about.
When the broiler is out, the heat goes bye bye.
Whenever I turn the water on I have to let it run for a minute to let the rust flow threw... I'm thinking that is what it is :P
Lovin' the historic buildings!
I'm trying a Thai restaurant tomorrow night that is walking distance away :D
L&L is right around the corner. I had some Loco Moco for dinner the other night, felt guilty and ugh due to the unhealthiness of the meal BUT it was so Hawaiian :P
Even though I'm WAY closer to work, it seems to give me an excuse to hit snooze just one more time :P
I may not have furniture but it's still comfortable here for me :) and Ikea has some cheap furniture that I have my eye on :) but with February being so dang busy I may not be able to get there until March! Oh well... that gives me more money to spend by the time I go shopping!

New place

2011-01-31T21:12:00.000-07:00

Well, on Saturday I was blessed with some great help and got all my stuff transported from the Brown's to my new apartment by 2:30 :D I'm feeling it today. My biceps hurt when I do anything, including typing LOL But it's been quick going with the unpacking. I'm unwrapping stuff that I totally forgot I kept and other things that I'm wondering "why the hell did I keep that?!". I already have a box that I'm putting stuff I need to sell/get rid of. Does anyone need a wok?! I don't think I've ever used it and with my lack of kitchen space storage I don't see the reason to keep that.
Speaking of lack of kitchen space, I unpacked my kitchen stuff first. This girl has to eat! Well, I thinking I'm doing pretty well with finding a spot for everything when I realized I haven't even bought any food! Time to reorganize LOL
Once the last load was delivered, I did go and try to and buy some stuff that I knew I needed to make it threw the weekend. Here's my first shopping trip: shower liner, trash bags, dish soap, drying rag, bread, peanut butter, jelly, cereal, soy milk, coffee, coffee creamer (oh, Whole Foods does not carry coffee cream just FYI ) and of course wine..... I wanted to get some other stuff but I am going to try really hard to not make decision based on what I need and what I want. There are things that I need but I know exactly what I want so I'm not going to buy something just to fill that space "for now" I don't have the space or the money to buy stuff I'm going to replace when I find exactly what I want.
So, it's going to be interesting living for awhile. I'm going to be here for a wee bit. I have limited space so I need to make the most of it.
I had to call my Dad last night while I was unpacking. He helped pack all my stuff over 3 years ago and I'm so happy with his packing skills. I was lacking towels and sheets BUT with my Dad's awesome packing skills...well we wrapped up breakable stuff in towels and sheets :) SCORE! I also was missing pillows but shoving a blanket into pillow cases works just fine for now :D

The Purge

2011-01-22T09:06:00.000-07:00

Started going through boxes last night. I was a little worried about this activity. Back in the day I would get side tracked by photo albums, letters from ex's, books, movies... pretty much everything I had to touch. It's a hoarder moment. Memories and times in life are attached to every day objects.

Last night was not the norm for me. I started with boxes with "books" on them because I know I had kept a lot of books that I probably didn't need to. I love books. Hell, I got rid of a lot of books when I left Hawaii and I'm not talking school books. Of course some of the boxes had other things besides books, stuff to hang on the wall, year books, letters and cards from ex's, anything to fill up the box.

Yes, I looked at a couple of photo albums and I smiled.

I've had a lot of good times with good people. I was really good about tossing away the letters and cards. Before, I would read these and feel the emotions that I did the first time and then I'd be sucked into memory lane, not in a good way. I would focus on the good times, wonder about the "what if's", about the what went wrong BLAH BLAH BLAH. There is no need for such behavior. I know once I go there, I end up being melancholy which merges with depressing and then I'm in the fast lane for being antisocial and dancing with my monkey brain.

There is no need for such behavior :P
I posted before that my new apartment is a clean slate. I am taking stuff over that has memories attached but there is no furniture, there is no guy that I'm dating in the back of my mind that is in some weird way influencing any behaviors. Granted I got a message from a cutie that really made my night, but like most of my luck... find a guy that has potentional for being something special and he lives in another country! LOL
It's the year of me anyway so I'll just enjoy our correspondences.
Today I need to do errands and then it's back to the purging of boxes. I also need to organize the room that I've actually been living in with all the stuff that has been carried over from Hawaii.
I MOVE NEXT WEEKEND!

Signed sealed....and almost delivered!

2011-01-19T21:03:00.000-07:00

Lease was signed yesterday after work. Today I went over to the apartment to get some measurements and take some pictures :D

I'll be moving 29 Jan! I'm so excited! Here are pictures of my cute, old, cozy (small) apartment:)

This is standing at the front door looking into the living room. Love all the windows and hardwood floors :)

This is standing at the right side of the living room by the windows. I have built in storage and the closet looking thing at the right was a Murphy bed at one point but they put shelves in and the doors for more storage.

On to the one cook kitchen :P There seems to be a lot of storage but we'll see how well my stuff fits into them. Back in the day everything was smaller ;) Also, the shelves go all the way to the ceiling, so I'll need to get a step stool or something so I can utilize those shelves. I know back in the day people were short too so I'm not sure what that's all about! Above the stove the box thing that looks like the electrical box is actually a place to put spices and cooking stuff!

My quaint dining area LOL. There is storage under the seats, not much but it's better than nothing.

The bedroom, this is standing in the bathroom doorway. Yes, for you folks that will be visiting... to use the bathroom you'll have to go through the kitchen and through the bedroom. It doesn't bother me, that's how my place was in Hawaii. Plus, it means I have to keep my bedroom clean and neat!

This is standing in front of the windows in the bedroom, so you can see there is a closet and of course the bathroom.

So there you have it, my blank canvas of an apartment!

My "new year" begins 1 Feb, because this is the real start to my next life chapter. What is so cool about where my apartment is that I can easily walk to "city life" one way or go the opposite direction for a run in the avenues and old school neighborhoods! I'd also like to mention that my work commute is going from about 40 minutes to 6! I'm on the top floor so no one is above me, I'll get a good work out walking up and down 4 flights of stairs (5 flights on laundry days), and for the next week I'm going to be going through my stuff that's been boxed up for 3 years and do a major purge/cleanse of my past.

AWESOME!

Apartment hunting

2011-01-15T17:06:00.000-07:00

So I flew in from Dayton OH last night about midnight, took a taxi home, crawled into bed and passed out. This morning I hit the ground running in looking for an apartment. I started making some calls and Marcia and I were off! Looking for apartments in the Avenues and in SLC is similar to Hawaii in that you got to check out Craigslist.
The first one, well... we did a drive by and it was a major "NO", we didn't even get out of the car. Not what I wanted in any sense of the word.
I want to be able to walk places, take advantage of public transportation, some sense of security, covered parking would be awesome but this is the Avenues so that's something I won't be stickler on.
So we were way early for my scheduled apartment viewing so we made some calls and one was a just "show up and view it" because it was unlocked. That was a no. Not sure how they worked the "one bedroom" in the ad but it wasn't nice. We then drove around and we made a call on this one place, the outside looked decent and the guy they showed us was questionable and it had a moldy stagnet smell... not good.
We then went to Trolley Square to waste some time and then we headed out to the next apartment.
AWESOME.
I could walk to everywhere I would need to go to, Trax is just about a block away, Trolley square about 2 blocks away, Whole Foods is almost across the damn street! It has street parking :( but whatever at this point. It was a little on the small side, storage is limited but it is on the top floor of this cute little brownstone type building so no one is living above me :) It's a corner apartment so I have a lot of windows :) I need to keep downsizing my stuff anyway so this could be a very good thing. The landlord guy was very knowledgeable about all his tenants, is doing a lot of upgrades on the building, concerned about security and I just got a very good vibe about the building in general. Most of the tennants have been there awhile, he doesn't put up with crazy party behavior, and the age range of the tenants is about mid 20's to 40ish. There is a code to get in the building so that is nice also. He's not showing tomorrow and I have another apartment I'm looking at tomorrow but if I'm not feeling the warm fuzzies with this other place then this is going to be it! It's been the cheapest of the apartments I looked at which is nice cuz it will give me some more wiggle room with my finances. Oh yeah... free wireless and all I need to pay is electricity :D
The next apartment had more room, carpet throughout, more storage, covered parking, and it cost more (of course). I liked the place and the room that it provided but I didn't feel the "whoo hoo vibe" as I did the last one. Laundry in the basement along with extra storage but it was like amityville horror down there! I won't be doing laundry at night NO THANK YOU!
I then looked at another one that is doable, more room and other amenities that I liked but to do laundry, which is in the basement you have to go outside and around the building to the back (the building is an old victorian type house). These last two were in the Avenues also, but not as close to everything as the smaller apartment. So I got some thinking to do.
This is a pic of the apartment building I like back from 1933 :)

Good bye 2010!

2011-01-02T15:39:00.000-07:00

What a year! Last new years I was was hitting up Waikiki and then watching the fireworks with Shan from my apartment high rise! Today I'm in snow covered Utah, with a stable job, living in Marcia and David's basement (for just a little longer).

This past year I spent 2 weeks in India. Took a long time moving out to Utah from Hawaii, spent some quality time with the fam, saw some good friends, got to chill in Chicago for a wee bit and even worked on a farm. AND that's just the highlights of the year :P I've had my downs but my ups have DEFIANTLY outnumbered them this past year!

Well, I was looking at my blog for my resolutions for this past year and I couldn't find them?! Hmph... so I grabbed these from 2009 to see how things are going.

be more earth friendly-Still working on this one and will till I die. It's a little hard when you are living with others, and doing a lot of traveling but I'm doing what I can. :)

stay focused on my goals-well... what are the goals for 2011?! Get my own place, I'd like to have an AWD vehicle too, get started on my Masters, take a kick ass vacation somewhere in the world, try to be a vegetarian. yes ladies and gents you read that last one right! When I get my own place I'm going to attempt to be a vegetarian. I've been thinking about this for awhile, for a number a reasons. At work we have a lot of lunches catered due to the drug reps (that's a whole other post) and I usually get the vegetarian dish and they are pretty good. So we will see on that one!

exercise more-I've been doing good on this one BUT I could do better.

I had a resolution about not jumping into relationships too fast, or trying to "help" guys. Not a resolution that needs to be carried over. I'm so done with that part of my life. Truth be told, I am really enjoying not being in a relationship. Since being in Utah I've gone on a handful of dates and that's been just fine by me. No hurry in this department :)

live in the moment, don't fret about the future-I think I did very well with this one in 2010! I'll do even better in 2011!!!

Now for some new ones:
      -get more involved in the community/volunteer etc.
      -take some classes for my own enjoyment (dance, some sort of art thing, cooking... whatever floats my boat)
      -once I get my own place, eat healthier and even try to to be a vegetarian

I'm feeling good about 2011. It's a fresh start, a clean slate, and I'm ready to go!

I Give Up!

2010-12-25T19:07:00.000-07:00

I give up on that 30 days of blogging thing. I don't blog on a regular and well...a new year is just around the corner so there are better things to blog about!
Last night I began thinking of new years resolutions and I think I have a good one, but that's for a later blog ;)

Work is work and I always look forward to the weekends, but lately it seems like I've been working a lot. I had my usual drill weekend and then last weekend I work at the UTANG on sunday:( so it feels like vie been working a lot. SO I'm very grateful to have 3 days off of work!

Christmas has been relaxing. A lot of food, good people, and just a laid back time.

6,7,8

2010-12-19T16:38:00.000-07:00

Guess I'm not good at this daily blog thing! LOL So I'll do a few at a time ;)

Day 6 - Your favorite Superhero and why.
I've actually been thinking about this one, but there are so many superheros! I would love to have the ability to fly.... I'm going to say Hancock! He's just wants to be normal, but has the awesome abilities that he needs to figure out how to use and make his own "normal :D

Day 7 - A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you.

My parents have and continue to have a big impact on my life and who I am.

Day 8 - Short term goals for this month and why.
I would like to make it through the holidays with a smile. Find time to relax and recharge for the new year is just around the corner. With it brings so many new challenges... apartment hunting, figuring out what master's degree I'm going to pursue and where.... :D

Five

2010-12-12T15:23:00.000-07:00

Day 5 - A picture of somewhere you've been.

Τέσσερα (four in Greek)

2010-12-07T19:12:00.000-07:00

Day 4 - A habit that you wish you didn't have.

Getting in anti-social moods.

Drei

2010-12-06T21:12:00.000-07:00

Day 3 -A picture of you and your friends.

O.k. I put a few pictures :P

#2

2010-12-01T07:27:00.000-07:00

Day 2 - The meaning behind your blog name.

I pretty much describe it in my title :P It was Aloha but since moving from Hawaii I felt that it needed a different title and I came across this quote so I borrowed it :)

Unlike my papers that I wrote for school where I didn't make a lot of revisions, my life is full of changes. I'm trying to "get it right" but I'm not even sure what that means. All as I can say is this draft, this time in my life, right now... I'm happy and that's the way it should be. Yes, there are things I'd like to change and I'm working on those but at the end of the day I feel blessed and happy with where I'm at right now.

So until the next major revision, I'm letting this "draft" stew a bit :)

Here we go!

2010-11-28T18:40:00.000-07:00

Day 1- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself.

This was taken just a few days ago at Mom and Dad's during Thanksgiving.

1)    I've gone sky diving
2)    I've swam with sharks
3)    I have 7 tattoos
4)    I have no idea what I want to be when I grown up
5)    I wanted to be a ballet dancer, sea animal trainer, or an astronaut when I grew up
6)    I DO want a fairy tale wedding someday
7)    I will work in Africa one day
8)    I could read a book everyday
9)    I want to be swept off my feet
10) I can't whistle
11) but I'm good at flipping my eye lids inside out
12) I didn't think I was military material but neither did anyone else so I had to prove them wrong :P
13) As much as I hate moving, I get stir crazy and feel like I have to move.... so I do
14) I wish I stuck with a lot of things that I've tried.... surfing, some sport, some sort of hobby....something!
15) Once i got to #6 this turned into a challenge and not a fun thing :P

30 Days of Blogging...

2010-11-28T09:14:00.000-07:00

I got this from a friend's blog and figured I'd give it a whack.
Now it doesn't have to be 30 days in a row necessarily but this list will give you 30 blog ideas to explore!
We'll see how this goes :P

Day 1- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself.
Day 2 - The meaning behind your blog name.
Day 3 -A picture of you and your friends.
Day 4 - A habit that you wish you didn't have.
Day 5 - A picture of somewhere you've been.
Day 6 - Your favorite Superhero and why.
Day 7 - A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you.
Day 8 - Short term goals for this month and why.
Day 9 - Something you're proud of in the past few days.
Day 10 - Songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyper, mad.
Day 11 - Another picture of you and your friends.
Day 12 - How you found out about blogs and why you made one.
Day 13 - A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.
Day 14 - A picture of you and your family.
Day 15 - Put your iPod on shuffle; first 10 songs that play.
Day 16 - Another picture of yourself.
Day 17 - Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why.
Day 18 - Plans/Dreams/Goals you have.
Day 19 - Nicknames you have; why do you have them?
Day 20 - Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future.
Day 21 - A picture of something that makes you happy.
Day 22 - What makes you different from everyone else?
Day 23 - Something you crave a lot.
Day 24 - A letter to your parents.
Day 25 - What I would find in your purse.
Day 26 - What you think about your friends.
Day 27 - Why are you doing this 30 day challenge?
Day 28 - A picture of you in the last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29 - In this past month what have you learned?
Day 30 - Who are you?

So far so good...

2010-11-19T10:26:00.000-07:00

Well, I've been at my new job for 2 weeks now. Today I fly out to OK to have Thanksgiving with the family :D So everything that I've learned at my new job will be forgotten! hahaha

Commuting to work is tiring but since I don't have to work till 9 I've gotten into the habit this last week of taking care of stuff before work. I'll work out for about 30 minutes, and one morning went to the tailors (run by some cute Italians), and dropped by guard unit to take care of some stuff and STILL was to work early! Just like any other city, driver's are special but I just practice being zen, blaring music and not getting upset about it. THEY don't know they are irritating the crap out of me with their lack of driving skills so why should I fester over them?! Driving to work in the morning is interesting and at times enjoyable to me. I drive right through downtown and under the eagle gate. I get to see the capitol every day and the other day I was looking for a short cut and drove all around the capitol. It's a very pretty building. The buildings downtown are neat cuz they are not all the same. They have kept some of the older building that have a lot of character. I look foward to living in the area, walking around and really appreciating the city. The last few times driving home the sky has been a vibrant pink, and the way it lays on the mountains... beautiful! But then I'm in grid lock traffic on the I-15 and I have to turn up the tunes to keep from getting pissy.

Work is work. Everyone seems really nice but everyone has their hang ups, and I'm no different. I work in a specialty clinic so we have our set of patients that come in on the regular, call on the regular, and... well some are just special (even the providers say so!). It's a lot of little things to be aware of and these past couple of weeks I've gone home mentally drained. It's a whole new field of medicine for me, and I need to look into it more for a better understanding with the medications etc. If I'm going to be around this stuff daily I want to be as educated as I can so I can give our patients the best care and information. We have the drug reps that come in on the regular, and they bring lunch (thus I need to stay on top of the working out thing). We get everything from Cheesecake Factory to Chilli's. I'm trying to be good and usually opt for the vegetarian meal, they usually bring a few. Every time I do I get asked "are you vegetarian", and I reply, "no, but I try to be healthy so if I have the option I'm going to try it". Chilli's has an excellent black bean veggie burger by the way! One day I'll make that complete leap but for now... I still crave my In-&-Out!

Pretty much all the girls that I work with have been born and bred here in Utah. One girl actually lived in Seattle for a little bit but she's changing jobs in the new year. Our lunch conversations have been interesting. One day we'll talk about funny names for kids, the percentage of females that will have fake boobs in the future, shows we watch on t.v., and of course we have the home party stuff for sell...this week we had someone bring in some Scentsy stuff. I have my own dealer on that stuff so I didn't partake :P Anyhoo...pretty clean cut type of conversations. I'll put in my two scents but I'm definatly the odd man out. Everyone there is married, some have kids but not all of them. So here I am single, divorced even, and no kids. Regardless I'm happy and I enjoy my coworkers. I'm still getting a feel for the doctors and the P.A.'s and they all seem pretty nice.

this is what I see every day driving to work :D

I HAVE A JOB!

2010-11-05T10:23:00.000-06:00

I start on Monday, after a weekend of work but whatever :P My second interview that I mentioned in my last post never took place. My interviewer called my references and called me on Monday saying "with talking with your references, we decided that we just want to hire you!"

AWESOME!

I'll be working at a clinic doing a mix of medical admin and medical assisting. The clinic specializes in MS patients and the head doc is a leader in MS research and treatment. He travels a lot. So, I may be able to help out and do stuff in the the research avenue :D The job is a hog podge of things which is good for me! I get so bored with the same ol stuff day in and day out. The pay is above average for others doing this work BUT they even said I was over qualified so I'm thinking after my probation period (3 months) and after they see my work ethic we can revisit the pay. The pay is livable, I can get my own place BUT it doesn't leave much for savings and trip planning :P

I'm still keeping my eye open for work possibilities. I still have a job application out for up at the base, but I can't sit around to see if that pans out. I just saw another posting for a position at the VA so I'll probably check that out and apply for that one.

Where did October go?!

2010-10-30T11:05:00.000-06:00

First a job update for the month of October:

Applied: 16
Interview: 1 w/ a follow up interview next week :D
No's: 1 cuz I didn't have a medical assisting certificate :P which I am working on... with some money, the right signature and passing a test I have the convented "certificate"

So yep, I have a follow up interview in a week and it's from the interview that I had this afternoon! I feel good about it but I am also nervous. I'm nervous cuz right now I have all these balls up in the air, a handful of possible opportunities. So if this job pans out and they want to hire me... I'll have to see what else will happen. It's usually all or nothing huh?

We had our first snow this past week. The night prior David asked if I wanted to pull into the garage (very nice of him) but we got side tracked and never did. Well, much to my dismay there was almost 6 inches on my car the next morning! Marcia got up and gave me her scrapper so it wasn't that bad. It's weird that when there is that much snow on the ground and the air is clear that it doesn't seem so cold. It was beautiful but by the time I made it home a majority of the snow had melted away and days later, the mountains seemed to have cleared up some. New reports reported that some die-hards were trying out the slopes already. We got this snow on Wednesday, by Friday my car was reading 72 degrees! And that is how Utah rolls :P I still need to buy my own ice scrapper!

I've been on a handful of dates and they have been enjoyable, even a couple of times with one guy. It always amuses me when life is going smooth, or I start talking to other guys, that I get some random email from an ex. Really?! What is that all about? Is there some sort of "this is the time" radar in hopes to getting me all spun up/re-evaluating the past/questioning why we are no longer together?! I had to laugh. I was nice when I wrote this one back but I called him out on his lie of "sorry I haven't written but I just really missed you....". Note: if I'm still friends with you on FB I can see a change in status thus you getting into a relationship and then recently getting out of one will show up on my news feed (unless I blocked you :P ) so trying to intrigue with "I missed you so much" constitutes a BS flag being waved. I was nice about it, but needless to say he's never wrote me back. LMFAO

On Thursday we carved pumpkins. I don't recall doing it before. It was fun yet gross when getting all the guts out of the pumpkin. We did keep the seeds and yesterday we seasoned and roasted them YUM. Last night we watched scary movies and I was up till about 3. We had the air mattress in the living room. I was pinned between Joe and the couch and a certain someone was snoring in happy dream land. I finished Friday the 13th (yep we did the oldies) and then caught up on my Glees before rolling backward off of the airmattress and braving the basement to go to bed. Nothing attached me and I slept in till about 10 :D Very nice. Tonight I look forward to checking out trick or treaters but tomorrow I'm working so it will be an early night :(

BOO!

2010-10-24T08:55:00.000-06:00

For the folks that know me, it's widely known that I LOVE Halloween. I had a friend say recently that Halloween is not a holiday! We almost got into a fight LOL. Anyhoo, my girls night last night wasn't a "girl's night" as you can see but it was great all the same. We went and had a delicious dinner at The Star of India. The food was very good! Garlic naan... delicious! The portions are small for what you pay but it was perfect for me :D You can also request to sit in their movie room where they show Bollywood movies on a big screen. I watched a few Bolloywood films on my way back from India and they are defiantly their own type of thing. They reminded me of Grease! Song and dance and you are left feeling good. Can't go wrong with that type of movie! They have the shoot em' up type too but I haven't seen those yet. After dinner we were off to Nightmare on 13th.

I've been to this one a few years ago and it's amazing what all they have in it. The money is well worth it. It's not overly scary especially when there is a big group cuz you kinda get the big scare right away and then you just walk through. The rooms and detail were awesome though. I jumped a few times and laughed a lot. The chainsaw guy ran so hard at me he couldn't stop and slid into me. Then Jason kept blowing on my neck... not sure if that was suppose to be scary or what LOL. Even Amanda said it wasn't overly scary so there you go ;) I think it was scarier when we did one outside up in Ogden years ago.

As of right now there isn't any major plans for Halloween, but I have a last minute costume if the situation dictates :D

Busy time but lovin' it

2010-10-23T17:19:00.000-06:00

Things have been going wonderfully :D No, I don't have a full time job yet but that may just be around the next corner!

The other weekend I went with my friend to Lake Powell. It was a great 3 days :D

view from our campsite

whoohoo!

did a little hiking

a lot of time on the boat

beautiful canyons!

they did some hiking too!

I've also been going on dates! Not only am I getting to know some great people I am getting to see more and more of SLC and yesterday evening I was up in Park City. We did some hiking and then hit the Red Rock Brewing Co. for some more good conversation and some awesome food. The more I see and do, the more I am enjoying the area. Tonight it's dinner with the girls and a haunted house!

Life is good :D

Job update

2010-10-09T16:16:00.000-06:00

For the month of September (this way the numbers don't look too crappy :P )

Applied: 12

No's: 2

Interviews: 1

That's correct ladies and gents I had a job interview :) I'm hoping it works out. The interview went well, from what I could tell.

I stopped cubicle hell because I can do extra days with the UTANG to get ready for an upcoming inspection, and the pay is better. So, I'm not totally desolate.

Love my guy friends

2010-10-07T10:31:00.000-06:00

I had a nice relaxing morning and I was IMing with some friends via Facebook. My one guy friend I've know for about 6 years now. We met while stationed overseas, he was married at the time and so was I. He's a kick ass medic so we got a long well and he's been a good friend. At one point he even diagnosed my illness via skype :P When I was in some military training near him we hung out a little and due to the less than safe surrounds he gave me a nice little knife-which I still have. Good to have friends like that.

We had a repeat conversation today. He asked me if I was happy and I told him even though I'm in this in-between status of my life chapters, I am happy. He then asked if I had a new man in my life. I told him I want a job and my own apartment first :P I then added that I'm not missing it, the boyfriend thing. I have moments when I miss that companionship with a man but overall I'm happy and I don't feel as though something is missing in my life. I told him I was on a manbreak ;) He said my last man boycott lasted a LONG time (that's relative but anyway) and that I am too hot to keep this boycott going for long...it's not fair to mankind. I told him to brief his fellow men on the importance of honesty and respect. He agreed but then pointed out that I may have my radar stuck on asshat. He may have a point.

So this man break is to reset my life and my mandar. Either way, I'm in no hurry to jump back into the relationship thing. I'm enjoying things as is :D

Paying Respect

2010-10-06T13:51:00.000-06:00

This past weekend was my drill weekend. On Sunday a fallen soldier was brought home. We were requested to line the way from the flight line to the front gate, if you were able to step away from your work. Needless to say, EVERYONE could get away from work to show their respects.

CW3 Matthew Wagstoff, a UH-60 Blackhawk helicopter pilot, died in Afghanistan. This was his third combat tour overseas and had been in the Army for 10 years.

We lined up and we waited patiently. Soon it was time. We stood at attention and when vehicles came into view we slowly raised our hands and saluted as they went by. The family and CW3 Wagstoff was preceded by Patriot Guard Riders. It was over before I knew it.

Standing there, in the sun, I would have moments of an emotional swell. I am paying my respects to a brother in uniform. This is where the "it's just not a job" comes into play and I am proud of all that have served and those that will serve. We may not face this type of danger on a regular basis, but when we swear into the military it's a possiblity that never goes away. We respect that and we honor that commitment, and we also ask much of our friends and family to honor and respect our decision to be in the military. That can be hard for anyone.

Due to my life in the medical field and also in the military, we tend to learn how to compartmentalize a lot, to focus on what we are doing to maintain our military bearing. This day was no different. When the line of motorcycles and cars went by, I said a little prayer, wished goodness their way along with safety, love and light.... and then it was back to my duty day. All in the life of a military person I suppose....

Product testing

2010-10-06T13:20:00.000-06:00

I have a friend who has become a distributor of some products (if you want to know what it is, email me and I'll tell you). I'm not going to put their name out here, cuz I'm not about to give free advertisement to a product before I even know if it works or not.

My friend wanted me to become partners with her. Fun enough but...
#1 I don't have the money to invest
#2 I'm not a salesperson/marketer , I know my limits and I don't like hassling my limited friends and family group ;)
AND the top reason....
#3 I am not going to try to sell something that I have never used.

I did go with her one night to hear the about the products, and it sounds interesting enough. So, I figured I'd give two of the products a try. One is like a facial spa thingy to decrease the signs of aging and some herbal supplements.

Now, I know...for those that know me are asking yourself "Why the F do you need something to decrease the signs of aging?! You are still getting carded when you order an alcoholic beverage!!!"
Well, like all females I have my hangups. Mine is the discoloration on my face due to medications and some acne scars. I live with them, it's who I am but if this product gets rid of THAT well then I will tell others about it. I also have a nice set of lines on my forehead but whatever.... I want an even skin tone! As for the herbs... well, who doesn't want energy and better mental focus? It also claims to help with sex drive or whatever, but unless these herbs are going to supply a good man (note I said GOOD man) then who cares about that :P

SO, I got the products on Monday and used the facial spa that night. It says to use it 2-3x a week, and since it's not the cheapest thing out there... I'm going the 2x a week route. As for the herbs, I started them Tuesday and like most products they can take around 3 weeks for one to feel the effects. I feel pretty energized today but I got let go from work early so.... that could be it;)

More to come.....

Just a girl

2010-09-27T21:24:00.000-06:00

The more I work in the “civilian sector” the more I get to learn about myself. For my adult life thus far, my work attire has consisted of camouflage and combat boots. On occasion I would have to “dress up” in my blues but that wasn’t very often. In fact, this coming Saturday will be the first time I will be wearing my blues in about 5 years :P Then for the past few years I’ve been a college student in Hawaii. So my normal daily attire consisted of slippas (flip flops) shorts, tank, tops, and pulling my hair back. Pretty low maintenance. The get up, shower and go sort of life.

Now, things are different. No jeans in the work place unless it’s a casual day. I’m doing my hair every day, make-up, and usually wearing heals. My calves are looking good, but my feet are totally confused. The last time I wore heels on a regular basis I was clubbing in Okinawa Japan :P When I get home and take of my shoes it’s like I was in grade school taking off my skates after a party at the roller rink but without the fun times and the sugar rush.

I don’t mind dressing up. It’s a hassle but like my uniform I do take pride in what I look like at work. For example: this morning I had a fashion dilemma. I have these khaki pants that are a wee bit long (the curse of being vertically challenged). I thought I bought some shoes with a long enough heel that would work. I was wrong. SO I went through my box o’shoes (yes I’m still living out of boxes) and found some shoes that would match and had a bigger heel. I’m good to go! Again I am mistaken. I look down at my naked toes peeping out. Not good!

This past weekend I was sick. I did entertain the thought of treating myself to a pedi/mani but didn’t. Hell, I didn’t even shower on Sunday (we all deserve those days once in awhile-don’t judge me). We just got into fall so I figured I’d wouldn’t be wearing a bunch of open toe shoes to work anymore. Again, I was wrong. So, here I am all dressed up at 7 (I leave around 7:10) painting my first 4 toes with my shoes on. My pinky toe is not visible with the shoes. Who would of thought that me, not the most girly of girls would care if her toes were naked. Good thing it’s my toes, the look pretty good from far away but up close…not so good :P

Also, driving to work this morning I realized I’m wearing shoes bought in Japan and jewelry from Turkey :) I’ve had an awesome life thus far and I'm just getting started :)

Temp Job

2010-09-26T11:40:00.000-06:00

Welcome to my view at work for the next 2-3 months. It's a big room of cubicles. To some, this is normal. To me.... not so much. How did I get here? How did I get this temp job of data entry, of working bankruptcies for a major hospital in the area? If you know me, then you know I hate math and repetitive work. SO HOW DID I GET HERE AND WHY AM I STAYING?!

The economy sucks, not working is depressing, and I could possible get something from this stint.

So here's the update as of today

Applied : 35

No's : 9

Job was canceled: 2

Interviews/call backs: 0

Applications got stagnate for a few weeks due to a dead laptop, me getting sick, working 12 days straight... I know... excuses excuses! But it's back in the game!

As for this temp job, I got it through AppleOne which is an employment agency that Marcia mentioned. We figured it wouldn't hurt to have extra people looking for jobs for me :) So I went and a week later they call me "We have a temp job for you". I went in and did some preliminary stuff and before leaving I asked if it was the medical admin job that we discussed when I did my first interview with them. It wasn't, it was with a hospital but it was doing data entry, banking, and it was for less money. I told them "no thank you". By the time I got home the agent had called me 3 times. I called her back and she tried to convince me. I explained to her that I understand the concept of getting a foot in the door, but that's not a job that I want to be doing, no where on my resume does data entry and banking get mentioned. She then said she made a mistake, her boss wasn't there, and it is a medical admin job. O.k. that's different and she said for me to think it over the weekend. So I talked to folks, thought about it and figured I'd do it. I went in and touched base with the boss lady and I asked again about the job description, she was vague and said there is some banking type stuff. LIER! I am at the administration office doing data entry and updated bankruptcy claims! UGH

BUT I'm meeting people, and I plan to get a reference letter from these folks. I'm still going to apply for jobs and get back to my one a day minimum.

The days are long with little interaction from others. I'm on the computer all day so I don't feel like spending a lot of time on the computer when I get home but I need to keep applying for jobs.

There are reasons for everything, even if we don't get it at the time.

My Military Life

2010-09-25T22:19:00.000-06:00

I have moments where I am very aware of my "part time job" in the Air National Guard. The other weekend was one of them and I keep thinking about it. I'd also like to point out that on September 18 it was the Air Force's 63rd birthday! A couple of weekends ago it was governor's day here in Utah. First off I never knew governor's have their "day" but they do here and apparently it's also the day that he inspects his state's military... that's us in the guard :)

I show up at Rice-Eccles stadium a little before 9 and gratefully find some familiar faces in the gaggle of ABUs. I noticed that the army seemed more organized, well they were loitering in formation while the AF were just in groups. But that's why we join the AF. When it comes down to it, we can take care of business but most of the time we aren't going to make a situation into more work if there is no need. Eventually we started to size up and then we waited some more before marching our way into the stadium. It was cool to march through the tunnel, it was the tunnel where you see the football teams run out before the game. The contrast from dark to brilliant light on the field was pretty cool.

I can't lie. Us AF folks don't do a lot of marching. In fact I can't remember the last time I did. I've had to form up a few times here and there but not so much with the marching. There are a few things that should stick with any military member when it comes to marching: 1) the marching band is not there to just play military songs for entertainment, they are called a marching band because they will keep us in step. Those songs have a specific beat so there should be no reason why folks are out of step, except for us short people in the back, who at times, have to double time it and sometimes run to keep up. 2) when the guide on goes up, that means we are prepping to do something, when it goes down, we do something. and 3) thank God I'm usually in back so I can move my lower body around to keep the circulation going and avoid the embarrassment of walking out of formation (which I have done and have no problem doing if I require it).

When we got to our positions the crowd stood and clapped for us for a good amount of time. I guess it's at these moments is when I realize what I do in the military is "not just a job". That phrase and view of mine has gotten me into trouble with boyfriends who were not the military type. Arguments would build on "it's just a job" because that's how I see it but try explaining that to someone who has been on the outside of military life. They have had friends leave, and come back changed and it's not always for the better, if they come back at all. But to me, the military has always been in my life. My Dad, who is getting ready to retire here in about a month, is a military man. My brother, also has served in the military. It's normal for me to live miles away, even countries away from my parents. It's normal for me to move, change jobs, meet new people all on a regular basis. Living out of boxes, as sucky as it is, it not so out of the norm. To me... all this is normal.

I get emotional when it comes to military ceremonies, military commercials, songs about the military, seeing a military member salute the flag. It doesn't matter where I'm at. It's normal to know people, on a regular basis, who are deployed in harms way. It's my life. It's normal to readily accept that I may be deployed, that I may be asked to go and be in some places which are not so fun. I will be nervous, but I will not be scared. It's my life. I will always have camouflage clothing in my home, even though I'm not a hunter. I don't think twice about having a Kevlar helmet in the corner with chem warfare gear in my closet. Combat boots are normal work attire and I have to adapt to wear heels to work every day. It's my life. I'm happy with who I am and what I'm doing. I'm proud of my "part time job" in the Air National Guard.

Being in the military gives me a bond instantly with anyone who has or is serving. Our driver in India was in the Indian Army. He talked of his service to us, and I could feel the love of his country in him. He was proud of his home. He talked of loosing his brother while his brother was serving in the military. He didn't have to tell all the details, his tears said enough. After we got to where we were going I walked around to him and just gave him a hug, no words were needed. After awhile of him being our driver I let him know of my military background and the look in his eyes instantly changed. He was a sweet man anyways but in that moment, we were connected with that military tie.

When I joined I didn't think I was doing it because I'm oh so patriotic. I did it because it was my best option. I wasn't ready for college and I didn't want to work at some dead end minimum wage job... oh and there were many who didn't think I could do it. Even I questioned if I could do it. I'm still not psycho patriotic, you won't catch me yelling HOORAH for the United States or getting an AF tattoo but I am proud of my home and where I come from. Because of the military I appreciate the greatness of my home, the diversity, and the opportunities and freedoms that we have, but I also see the faults and the imperfections of her.

Being in India for 2 weeks was an experience for me that was different in that I traveled with no assistance or backing by the military, all my other visits abroad had been due to military stuff. I worked with a civilian organization and at times, was a little concerned with how things were going. One thing I have learned in my life thus far is how to adapt and that is what I did. I enjoyed the trip. I learned a lot. It was the first time that when I came back to the U.S. that I felt a sense of this is my home! I am proud to wear the uniform. I am proud to do my service wherever that may take me. I may complain about my job and military requirements, but heh... doesn't everyone bitch about their job?! I'm no different. When I don my uniform and go to work, I go to a clinic, I deal with customers, a boss, backstabbing, office politics and do things that are sent down from the head honchos that make no sense to me. Now that I work a straight civilian job, I see that it's no different except it's harder to pick out the head honchos by sight and the back stabbing is a little more sneaky :P So yeah... for the most part my military job is like a civilian job, until I have to get deployed :D

Labor Day Luau

2010-09-18T17:45:00.000-06:00

It started innocent enough with a Labor Day Luau! We had spam appetizers (courtesy of me), kalua pig and A LOT of good food along with festive drinks. We even did limbo, and yes so did I. I managed to burn my wrist helping with a dish. It looked liked I tried to slice my wrist with a freakn' butter knife. I look like I joined the Lohan Spears clan :P

we couldn't dig a pit in the backyard-the dogs would go crazy. this worked just fine!

essential part of a mai tai :)

Hula Joe and Gretchen

fun times, and i was sober at the time... no lie

It was a full house. It was good times.

That week I started a temp job, I got rear ended, and my laptop died. BUT I will save all that, and then some for a different post. :D

My Bday post...last day in India

2010-09-01T17:08:00.000-06:00

I didn't write anything for my last Friday in India, and I totally spaced that it was FRIDAY THE 13TH! OOOH!!! Anyhoo, it was a long and emotional day. I did write a lot on that Saturday...

Friday began in the reception area of the hotel. We all sat around and talked about our experiences and it ended up being the good, the bad, and in some cases... the ugly. It was good though. Mid way through folks started getting a little emotional and I was THE LAST ONE TO TALK. Totally lost my bearing and after two weeks of a range of emotions I felt I just did an emotional vomit right there in the hotel lobby. Ugh... not my favorite thing to do. But anyhoo...
The day at CCH was tiring. I wasn't much in the "mood", maybe it was the emotional purge first thing in the morning and I was already drained from that and I was also with different people. Not that these people were bad, but after two weeks you get use to folks and it being the last day I didn't have a lot of energy for new stuff. When we got to the shelter, the jewelry girls showed their work to Sarah. After that I filmed while they all gave thanks to the contributors that made that whole shin dig possible. It was really nice to hear all the girls say thanks and how much the program means to them.
After lunch Deborah and I got to see the rest of the shelter and some of the other girls that don't work in the jewelry program, some are handicapped but seemed happy. Back in the jewelry room, some of the girls were making jewelry pieces. I already made a piece so I didn't feel right about making another. I didn't feel right about having them "do" another piece with me. God knows I'm not a jewelry maker, no point in torturing the girls :P I did get some more henna done. At least three different girls contributed to this piece. Awesome!
Some of the group left early to go to the shelter in the red list district (it was by invite only and I wasn't invited :P )
That night we had a group dinner at a Chinese/Indian place and I got the Thai Chicken Curry and it was SO hot/spicy! It was good though! There was some drama of course, how can there not be with that many females but it all worked out in the end and that is all that matters.
Coleen bought me some birthday cakes to share with everyone. We had a little thing in the lobby with the cake and all.

yep, i love me some chocolate!

Coleen and i stayed up talking till it was officially my birthday! She's so sweet. For breakfast we had an AWESOME chocolate truffle, which was way better than the cakes. I got a little teary saying good bye to Coleen. I flew out by myself so Coleen walked me to a cab and I was off.

I didn't have any issues flying out of Kolkatta. Easy cab ride, easy check in and of course I got there way early! I saw the perfect living example of globalization: an old man wrapped in a sheet, no shirt, bare chested with a cellphone dangling from his neck.
I ended up talking to a professor of economics while waiting for the flight. We exchanged emails (and we have emailed back and forth a couple of times). A really nice man. He was extremely cross eyed so it was interesting talking with him just for the eye contact factor.
Landing in Delhi it seemed like we taxied in forever. Apparently they are building a new airport and I had to get my luggage and take a bus to the new terminal. A lot more security and military in Delhi or it could have been just the airport. Taking the bus I saw just a tiny bit of Delhi, there didn't seem to be as much crazy traffic or honking but I saw at least 3 men peeing off the side of the road.
Ooooh India!

at the Delhi airport

the bathrooms-i liked the pictures :P

Oh! the economics professor thought I was Indian :) He saw the henna but it's usually done for marriage and I didn't have the red dot/red streak (represents that I'm married). Best compliment ever! I love it when I blend in:D

Movie and jewelry making

2010-08-30T15:33:00.000-06:00

12 Aug Thurs

Once again I mention how HOT the taxi ride is to CCH. It drains any energy you had in you so once we get to the shelter we really lack some motivation. But we do what we can...

The items that these girls make can be purchased online at Made By Survivors

Today was the last day for the painting. We also planted some flowers in the flower boxes in front of the jewelry room. We then hung out inside playing games an putting puzzles together till I recalled having "Meet The Robinsons" on my iPad. MOVIE TIME!!!! One good thing about those type of movies is even if you don't understand all that is being said, you can still following along. Me... well I fell asleep on the floor. No, I passed out and I think I even snored a little :P

Lovin' the ocean scene:D

After lunch the girls showed us how they made the jewelry and we got to make a piece. It's hard and tedious work. Everything is done by hand with basic tools. We had to buff our piece of metal and they kept telling us to do it harder and to do it some more. My fingers were so cramped they didn't want to straighten out. Then the cutting of the metal, oh my goodness. I have so much respect for these girls.

scrap pieces

buffering my heart out

cutting the metal

After the shelter I walked around the local shopping areas for the boom box with Vivian. Again, no luck. We stopped at Cafe Coffee Day and then checked out a bookstore where I scored this neat Ganesh picture:D

Compliments go a long way :D

2010-08-29T12:52:00.000-06:00

11 Aug-Wed.... This is one of those days that I was tired so my journal consisted of bullet points :P

Finished mural
made soap
Doel likes my laugh
Vivian likes my nose

Viv and I went to the mall. Met up with others for drinks and food.
Chit chat in room afterwords with Coleen, Sarah, and Sue Ann.

Now let's see if can expand on this any....

nope.... not mine

mine :)

trying to be artistic

feeling like we are doing good with our painting skills....

not us, but I did draw that palm tree :P

again, trying to be artistic and then....

LOOK AT THIS! THEY ARE AWESOME!!!!

this is on the back side of the door

we/they even painted their work desk

The girls at CCH helped A LOT with the mural. We may have started the painting but they really brought it to life. They are so talented, it is amazing. Hell, I was just stoked to have done a few trees that one could point out as palm trees :D I also made a batch of soap with the girls. I had to improvise a little with the double boiler. The don't have small pots so I actually put my bowl, with the glycerin, in a big pot with water in it. Before going out to India I figured they would not have pot holders and with me melting and pouring from a metal bowl I made sure to have a couple of handkerchiefs with me. They came in SO handy, even if I wasn't doing the soap. Most of the pictures taken at CCH I have a bandanna on. Mainly it's cuz the taxi ride there and back is the windows down, hot as hell type of drive and one of my major pet peeves is having hair blown in my face. They came in handy wiping the sweat off my face, swatting bugs away at the botanical gardens, cleaning up spills..... it's a definite must have travel item for me at least!
Oh, you may be wondering what they use to handle hot pots, well they gave me their tool and low and behold it is a set of pliers. I did try it their way, it was awkward and I went back to the bandanna route. The girls loved the soap and once it was done they were walking around having everyone smell it. The housemothers asked what was all in it, and then asked if I could do about 70! HaHaHa.... That would be a no but I did leave all the supplies with them so they are more than welcome to make some after I left.

At lunch Doel pointed out that she loves my laugh. This totally took me off guard as to I've never had that compliment before, and I don't give a lot of thought to my laugh. It was random and it was awesome. Viv then pointed out that she likes my nose. She is good looking but like all us females we have our insecurities. I pointed out that I use to get picked on about the shape of my nose in school and she was surprised. Again, something about me I don't give a lot of thought to and yet again.... awesome:D

Viv was on a shopping mission to find the girls at Nijoloy a new boom box. Um... yeah, apparently NO ONE sells these things anymore :( We went to the mall and looked around, I bought a shirt I wasn't planning on, checked out a bookstore and had a good time. We ended up at a restaurant and filled up on pupus and drinks! Once I made it home Coleen, Sarah, and Sue Ann were in the room talking and having some tea. Very nice way to end the day :D

Better Day at CCH but left frustrated

2010-08-28T11:24:00.000-06:00

10 Aug-Tuesday

Today is a new day. I will be happy and helpful!
Sarah, the driving force behind TEN, got in last night and we get to meet her today. Most of the group either knows her or knows more about her than I do, but I'm looking forward to being around her. I believe that she will be going to the other shelter today but we are going to have a group dinner tonight.

The drive to CCH is exhausting! We take taxi's, and it's an hour drive in the heat and smells of India. As interesting as it is, and I can't help but looking out the window like a eager school kid it's a struggle because my energy is slowly draining from my whole being.
BUT I will be a positive force today!

Today was a good day. We did loose two of our group to them not feeling well:( but we were productive. We did some more painting (I played some tunes on my iPad), had lunch, colored, and I read Curious George (from iPad) with Doel translating :D We also made butterflies to stick on the walls.
It was also a frustrating day. In talking with the girls (most are preteen and up) they did not see the importance of a school education. Many of the girls choose not to attend school. Most of these girls are in the jewlry program so they are learning a skill that they can use later. Other girls do the cooking, and I'm talking about cooking for over 50 people! We asked them about what they wanted for their future, and they couldn't answer marriage and there was no response from them. They feel as though everything is up to fate...as to what their future holds for them. The one girl that is a great cook figures she can get a job working as a cook in a hospital. I pointed out that with an education she could be her own boss, own her own restaurant even! To this I got the typical head nod but I don't think she believed it or even gave much though to it.
At this point I realized that these girls that are making the sari's that we bought and the jewlry are not receiving an education :( It's hard for me to feel good about buying these objectes when they are not further themselves even though they are in a position to go to school. They choose not to and no once forces them.
Coleen and I talked about this frustration of mine more than one night. I have a better understanding of the situation but I am still saddened by it. In India, it's hard for an educated woman to get married (men don't want a woman that is more educated than he is... in most cases). Marriage is SO important in India! Woman can not do anything without a man, they cannot rent a place on their own etc. Also, depending on their status or place a woman may be educated but she will never have the opportunity or be allowed to use it. SO to these girls, the best way for a good life is to learn a trade that they can continue on their own, so they can contribute to the family's finances. As crappy as this is to a American independent girl I understand the rational. I also saw that things are slowly changing for women in India. Doel, is a college educated woman, not married and is more western in her independence. Soma, a more traditional woman, married with kids, does EVERYTHING for her family and still works a full time job has gathered the women of her village to contribute money every month and with this they have sent a girl to school. Going to school cost money in India and if you have a girl and a boy, well the boy gets the education and the girl is taught just the basics. Change is happening but it's a slow process, the ways of thinking needs to change, government needs to change.... it's just not one thing and all will be well.

That evening we went to a restaurant "Fire and Ice" It was an Italian place and when we walked it Elvis was playing and the walls were pictured with Sophia Loren, James Dean along with Indian stars in black and white. It was a very nice dinner, but the days events still weighed heavily on me.

Child Care Home

2010-08-26T14:38:00.000-06:00

9 Aug

Today was a totally different experienced than at Nijoloy. Not a lot of interaction with the kids :( In fact, we showed up went to an area where there were couches and sat there for bit and then we were shown the jewelry room where we spent a majority of time. We got a lot of painting done, so that's good.

We are definitely getting short tempered with each other :( It didn't help that our expectations of what would be taking place today was far from what happened.

Child Care Home is a different shelter. There are more rules for the girl's safety. The shelter is in the midst of city business. The traffickers know that they are there and try to entice the girls to run away with promises of marriage and security. You also have to keep in mind these are adolescent girls and even with some of their backgrounds, they are still teenage girls and can be persuaded by cuteness and promises of love. There is a bus stop that was recently built near the shelter. This also increases their risk, one for the easy and quick assess to the buses and also bus drivers are known to work with traffickers. The bus drivers will call the traffickers and inform them of girls who are traveling alone and they will get picked up.
It is sad to know that even where they are suppose to be safe and secure they are not.

courtyard

sewing room with foot powered sewing machines

bedrooms

to keep the bad people out :(

Crazy traffic, temple, bored security, and botanical garden

2010-08-25T17:51:00.000-06:00

8 Aug Sunday

We slept in till they called asking if we wanted breakfast. We ordered the usual: toast with butter and jam, hard boiled egg and two things of coffee :D Coleen and I then started talking about our families, men, life, anything and everything and we lost track of time. So we figured even if we shower once we step out of A/C room we get hot, sweaty, and sticky anyway so we brushed teeth and took off.
Our driver today, Raja, was AWESOME! He was retired army, maybe that was why we felt so safe with him.

Raja is on the right

We first went to the Dakshineswar Kali Temple, again no pictures inside :( We had to take our shoes off, which wasn't surprising but once we went inside the temple it was all open. Needless to say we had some hot feet walking around. I was perturbed a little to see locals taking pictures inside, but I respected the rules and didn't take any pictures. We walked around the temple and many were bathing in the river. There was a big banyan tree where people were taking in the shade and some coolness. Of course there were vendors and a couple of the group bought some stuff with the assistance of Raja.

Raja assisting with a flute buy

After the temple we were at a loss of where to next and Raja recommended the botanical gardens and we thought it sounded nice, a good chance to get away from the city noise and craziness.
On the way to the gardens we had to cross over this awesome bridge. There were two cars today and the other car had some issues with guard on the bridge. He stopped them and tried to confiscate the camera, which Becky was not about to give up. In between the driver arguing with the guard Becky slickly slid out her sim card and the guard by then agreed to just have her delete pictures. She showed that there were no pictures in her camera ;) and they were off. Raja saw that they were pulled over and told us to put the cameras away. The rest of the day and drive we always asked first before taking pictures. The was a strong military presence on the other side of the bridge and I never found out way, there was an army post... but it still felt differently. Maybe it was the camera thing I dunno.

The gardens were interesting. The silence, decent air, and abundance of green was nice and relaxing. Unlike the botanical gardens in the U.S., this area was just like a big park that has allowed nature to do it's thing. It was relaxing all the same.

these are lotus flowers

paddle boats

that is ONE tree!

Getting back to our room we HAD to do some laundry. The hotel had some laundry service but we weren't too sure about it, and we figured to do some laundry ourselves...at least our "delicates". We had a bucket and laundry soap so we were good to go! I saw how they did it at the shelters on Saturday so I felt we were o.k. Everything turned out just fine :D It was a work out though! At one point Coleen said (she did more laundry than I did) "who cares about torture, abuse.... doing laundry by hand SUCKS! How do they do this all the time?!"
All things are definitely relative :P

Dead Chickens, TB, and site seeing

2010-08-23T13:27:00.000-06:00

7 Aug-Saturday

What a day! Was as the Mother House at 7:30 before heading out to Kalighat, where the home for the destitute and dying is. I walked in and saw a little blond sitting there so I asked if I could sit next to her. We chatted for a bit and she's been in India for awhile volunteering at the different shelters that fall under Mother Theresa's care. She was looking for a cheaper place to stay and we talked about traveling etc. she said "this is a perfect place to live on a prayer". I did think for more than a minute of not coming back to the U.S., I can't lie :P
I soon found where all the other volunteers were finishing up their breakfast. We sang some songs and then it was off to find the Kalighat group. We had to take a bus so we walked to the bus stop and waited. Eventually our bus come by but it didn't stop in front of us and we actually had to run to get onto the bus. It was funny and I could only smile.... OH INDIA :)

Once we got off we had to walked through a big market area. We checked in with a sister who barked at us not to take pictures "I saw you taking pictures outside, no pictures inside!" Alrighty then....

on the way to the shelter

cute, but he probably was sacrificed that day :(

Breakfast had already been served so I started off helping with dishes. It was an assembly line of dish washing. There were scrappers (scrapped the food off the plates) two rounds of scrubbing and washing and then a double rinse which was two big pools of water in cement indentions in the floor, and then the dryers (which I helped with). I had to go upstairs to put some dishes away and they were chopping up chickens for lunch. The was a pile of innards on the floor next to some chickens. One was definitely alive still, he was blinking and sort of looking around. I wanted to yell at him, "RUN" but didn't and went back downstairs.
I then helped ring out cloths. Another assembly line of washing clothes with big cement vats, a couple of guys washing cloths with their feet before rinsing and then ringing out the cloths. After a good ringing they were taken to the roof to dry.
I then went to find some way to help on the women's side. The facility was split in two with men on one side and the women on the other. They were handing out the meds and I was soon given a bed number and some meds.
It was obvious that I was new and they don't give you a lot of guidance as to what to do, you just do. I tried to do my best. After meds they were just interacting with the woman so I did what I could even with the language barrier.
One lady, who had TB I'm certain, held my hand and we talked about my henna. I gathered that she use to do henna a lot for others. I also messaged her legs. When she pulled her legs out from the blankets one of her legs was deformed, almost as if it was broken and was never properly set. I just went on rubbing her legs and when I looked at her face, her eyes were closed and she seemed to appreciate it.
Before I knew it, it was time for a tea break and all the volunteers go upstairs for tea. I talked to a man from China. He missed orientation so he was just visiting but wasn't allowed to do anything. He managed to carry down a big bowl of food :) He was impressed with me just going to India on my own and being there. I said the same to him, it takes a lot to just go to a different country.
It was them time to serve lunch, and some of the older ladies did need some assistance. One lady that I tried to help was not having it and had no desire to eat. After lunch I walked around with a pitcher of water and a basin so they could wash their hands (they eat with their right hand) and their face. I was then back in the cleaning area helping with cleaning the dishes again and then it was time to take the bus back to the Mother House.

Talking with the other group, I think they had a hard volunteer morning. They were with handicapped, and autistic children. They were wiping snot, drool, and cleaning butts!

I left Kalighat feeling good but also wishing I had more time. This whole experience with the shelters and even today was like a taste of a job that I can not complete or continue. That is what frustrates and saddens me.

After meeting up with the other group we were off to get some site seeing done.
We first went to a market. It was crazy! Venders trying to sell you stuff, I had street kids begging at me, and beating each other up in front of me..... We ate at KFC, I had a veggie burger and yes it was good and spicy :P Coleen my roomie is a sign language interpreter. Well, the KFC was staffed with about 80% non verbals. Coleen was signing with them and they were shocked! They were excited about her and she got get a tour of the kitchen! My public health side told her to REALLY look at the place ;) When she was done she said it was REALLY clean and she'd eat there every day!
these pics are from around the crazy market. i'd rather take pics of the awesome buildings than crazy ass vendors :P

this was above the crazy market

We then went to Victoria Memorial Hall. It is a museum. It's really beautiful inside, but I wasn't allowed to take any pictures inside :( Outside we came across a man with some monkeys. I guess he'll have them dance for some money. I didn't pay much attention, I have a problem with enslaved animals and I didn't want to encourage their handler in anyway. They had horse and carriage rides, which at first seemed neat but once I got closer to the horses I could see their ribs so they weren't taken very good care of either :(

Last Day at Nijoloy

2010-08-22T11:02:00.000-06:00

Some of my journal entries at this point started to consist of key words in hopes that they would jog memories of the day... so we will see what comes of that idea :P
Again I'd like to point out that I did not take all of the pictures that I've been posting, they have been taken by some of the other volunteers. I am not allowed to post pics that contain the girls for their safety and other concerns. If I visit you, or you visit me and and there is a computer near by I'd be happy to show you ALL the pictures that were taken :D They are beautiful happy girls.... amazing human beings!

Today is the last day for our group at Nijoloy. I'll be leaving before the rest of the group for orientation at Mother Theresa's so I can volunteer tomorrow. Again this comment! It feels as if we have been here so much longer than we have. The weird sleep habits, the heat, upset tummies, and the assault on our senses and emotions and it's starting to show... and we still have a week left!

I left soon after lunch and I think it's a blessing in disguise. The girls are wonderful and being in a sea of goodbye's is not my strong suit. I'm more of a "see you later" type of gal. If I'm in the midst of sad emotions and crying, I can only keep my bearing so much. I may be a "coward" but slipping off today was bittersweet. I was able to reflect quietly in the car, wipe away tears that no one got to see, and take in some more of India on my own.
I've noticed, during our drives, a lot of men just go pee off the side of the road. It's men in general to include business men. This didn't surprise me, I've seen this in other states and in Hawaii I even witnessed a woman going pee behind a palm tree. Note to women: palm trees do not provide accurate cover and no this woman was not drunk. But what caused me to take a double take while in the taxi on the way to Mother's house is in the midst of city and traffic there were urinals set up, made out of concrete and not in a building. Picture urinals out in the open and a couple of guys were using them. I'm not sure of what the difference is between using a open air urinal and a tree but obviously there is some sort of difference!
I made it to Mother's house and I was told to walk up the street to another place for orientation. I started to go and out front of Mother's House there was a lady and a girl. The girl started to talk to me about my henna and asked how much I paid. I told her it was free and she looked a little perturbed about that. I later found out why. I walked a block then turned around and went back to the Mother's house, I figured I'd be smart and write down the feakn' address this time. The lady and the girl did not bother me. When I got to Mother's there were a couple of guys getting directions to the same place so I tagged along with them. One of them was John from OK getting his masters in Social Work and he was there to volunteer that weekend also. He was doing a study abroad and just had this time free.

this is the alley way to go to the Mother House

where we had our orientation

We get to where the orientation was and I started talking to two sisters from Australia. They do vacations together and here they are. They always wanted to do this, volunteer at Mother's Theresa's, and ta da. They were both older ladies, kids all grown, and so the time was right for this journey. Eventually the other group showed up. There were A LOT of volunteers. Eventually we were split up into language groups and we had to read some information sheets about the areas and about the beggars. Some of the women even rent kids/babies because they can make more money that way. They also try to entice visitors to get henna done :P We also learned about each of the shelters that we could volunteer at.
Sitting there in that big room I was awashed in amazement, and humbled. There was people from all over the world in that one room, for the sole purpose to volunteer, to help others in any capacity that they can! I had to swallow my emotions numerous times just sitting in that room, looking around at all the love. Very awe inspiring.

basking in amazement of all the people and all the love there

We had to wait till we were called up to tell the sister's where we wanted to volunteer at. I felt the need to go to the Dying and the Destitute, everyone else went to a children's shelter. The two Australian ladies were also going to Kalighat (the Dying and Destitute shelter) so I was happy to know some folks. We waited and waited and soon it was was my turn. I go up to the sister and tell her I'd like to go to Kalighat, she asked if I could go in the afternoon and I said no due to the other group is doing the morning shift also (she looked disappointed and I do have a pang of regret for not doing the afternoon but it is what it is). I found out the Australian ladies were doing the afternoon so I was on my own for Saturday morning! Once we were signed up the sister gives us a card/pass and a pendant which she blessed.
We were all done and we went over to visit Mother Theresa's tomb. She was an amazing woman. You could see her room that she lived in was very simple and peaceful. I will admit that I was more humbled being in the presence of so many people from around the world who have traveled just to volunteer and be in this presence. That says so much to me!

Mother Theresa's tomb

4 Aug-Day 2 at Nijoloy

2010-08-21T10:01:00.000-06:00

We went back to Nijoloy today. The girls were happy to see us. We got there, had tea, and then I was making soap. It worked out great and the kids seemed to really enjoy it. Thank goodness for Doel, Shay, and Deborah who helped out. I was in the small room they used as a kitchen and they keep the girls in check so they wouldn't go crazy with the color, scents, or other stuff to add to the soap.

When I went back to join the rest of the group they were all listening to Ailoka (sorry if I misspelled this, but Paul has dubbed her the Queen of India). She has been and IS a major force behind these shelters and the activism against slavery. She is over 70 years old and one would have never guessed that! Amazing woman! She comes from a well off family so she has connections and was able to be educated in England and she has used this to better the conditions of so many girls. She has had a family that supported her independence (something not usually felt in India by woman) and she has (from what I gather) a just as passionate/supportive/and understanding husband.
She told us one story of a 14 year old that was sold to the red light district. This girl refused to be a victim and stashed what money she could in her mattress. These girls are usually required to service up to 50 men a day! She was caught and beaten so severely that she couldn't move for 3 days. She persevered and just found a different place to stash her money. Once she felt she had enough she bribed one of the guards and got away. She is now happily married due to Ailoka :D Ailoka is know to rescue girls right off the streets when she is out and about doing stuff, not looking for these girls but she will say "you're coming with me" and just take them to a shelter.
We had lunch and just listed to Ailoka. There is a bus stop that just was erected next to the other shelter, Child Care Home and Ailoka is going to get it taken down and we all believe this will be done. Bus drivers will usually work with traffickers in that if they see a young girl traveling alone they will call a trafficker and give them a heads up and the girl will get picked up. That is just ONE of the concerns when it comes to that bus stop.

After lunch I did about 2 more batches of soap before we left at 4.

The girls are so happy and affectionate, it's hard to even believe that they have dealt with and seen some horrible things. At one point a girl was playing with my hair as I sat there watching the girls dance, she was rubbing my neck and shoulder. They seem to have a desire for some sort of physical contact and have no qualms about reaching out to just be connected with you. It's a beautiful thing considering here in the U.S. we all have our personal bubble. The Philippines were like this also. I would go out with Belle (our maid...great person) and we would walk with our arms linked and even hold hands. It's a nice thing of these cultures. Too bad if you do that with friends in the U.S. you get labeled or looked at weird. We so need to get over that! People are happier when there is that interaction, it relieves stress and WHO doesn't need that?!

I think tomorrow we are going to start a vegetable garden for the girls.

It feels as if we've been here longer than we have. I think it's because I'm just soaking in all that I can and with the heat.... it wears one out.

For dinner we went out to a nice restaurant that had a mix of foods: Indian or Chinese (Chinese is very popular here). I got to ride in an auto rickshaw! There is a few different types of rickshaws: foot powered, bicycle, and auto (motorcycle). It was fun and I know we get close to other cars when we are in taxi's but in the rickshaw....WOW! I could easily loose a limb if I stuck something out!

1st Day at Nijoloy

2010-08-19T16:43:00.000-06:00

3 Aug 2010
We met in the hotel lobby at 9 and were split into 2 groups, I'm on Team Ganesh :D
We got the A/C car due to it being a 2 hr trip to Nijoloy (didn't realize how awesome this was till the 2nd week and we were taking taxi's for an hour trip). We first stopped at the other shelter, Child Care Home, and waited for a driver to show us the way. We waited and waited. We saw a women get hit at an intersection. A lot of people went to her aid and she seemed to get up and walk away on her own accord. We also watched women laying down and working with hot ashpalt.

The driver was stuck in traffic or something so we just got directions and went on our way.

Driving through the town it was obvious that Kolkata is a city in transformation (and for some reason I am thinking all of India is in this same transition). We past numerous unfinished buildings, some were being used. I saw this a lot in Turkey and the "reason" for this was that if the building was not complete then they would not have to pay taxes on it... or something along those lines.

Dogs, cows, and ox walked the streets like humans going about their daily business.

This drive was our first time in major or typical Indian traffic. It's like a roller coaster ride. Buses have painted on their bumper's "please obey traffic laws". After 2 weeks I never really understood what those laws were! "Ladies and Gentlemen, please keep arms and hands inside the car at all times! Enjoy your ride and have a pleasant stay." After playing chicken with on coming traffic on a regular basis you just have to laugh, it's the norm so you go with it.

After a very eventful ride we ended up at Nijoloy shelter. This shelter is off of the main drag and it is surround by lush greenery. We were welcomed with flowers and a dab of sandalwood past (done with a flower) on our 3rd eye. Some of the girls were block stamping saris and they asked us if we wanted to see more. OF COURSE!

Next thing we know, we are seated, sipping hot tea (it does cool you down), with biscuits and were oohing and aahing over each sari being pulled out. We each had our "that one is mine" "I LOVE that!" Soon it was dress up time, and what girl doesn't enjoy that?! The sari's that we liked we got to put on with a lot of help. Its amazing that these women do this on their own. I had, at one time, three girls helping me out!

After the fashion show it was lunch which was a typical western Bengali meal (very good food I thought). I can't recall the names for everything, but it had good flavor and spice!

you would mix this with your rice, it had a sweet tinge to it. it helped cool off the other food

this was a snack item, i dubbed it Indian popcorn. It was awesome

It was a little weird to have the housemother stand next to you while you ate (I was at the end of the table). I think if I was younger I would of felt compelled to eat everything I had.... but I felt fine eating what I could and saying no when more was offered.

The night before I was told to bring my stuff to make soap. This is what I've been nervous about the whole time and I would be the first to GO! UGH Since we got there so late there was not enough time to make soap and get a tour of the shelter...I was spared a day:D Also when we were done eating a group of the kids did some dances for us. They were great! I was curious about the stories behind the dances so slid over and asked Doel (our interpreter). One was a bout a woman's love and the feelings that go along with it. The hand movements were graceful and intriguing.

After their dances it was our turn to show off some dance! Unfortunately we didn't have anything graceful in our dance data base. We did the chicken dance and the hokey poky. They are a tad different from their story telling dances, but we had fun :)

When we started to tour the shelter it was as if the last of the barriers were broken. The girls went from shy looks and hidden stares to hand holding, arm pulling and loving animations for communications. "What is my name" was heard everywhere and they were actually asking us what our names were!

at this point I stopped writing in my journal and wrote a blog for the Made By Survivors web site, some of it's a repeat but there is some other things.... if you want to check it out.

Kolkata is a city of extremes. There doesn't seem to be a middle ground. You can't judge a place by the outside (just like humans) because once you enter a place it could be marble floors and flat screen t.v.'s.

Walking tonight to get some money and water we were harassed aggressively by some kids. They stand in front of you, pull on you, anything that can to get your attention. I didn't even look at them. Once you interact with them, acknowledge them it fuels their desire to keep at it with you. I just held my bag, loosened their grips on me and gently pushed them to the side and kept walking without missing a beat. Throughout my 2 weeks this was the best technique. I would watch the other volunteers tell street vendors who harassed "no thank you" or they would look at them and make another comment but it seems as if you show them any acknowledgement they keep coming and keep asking you to buy their wares. I told the other girls to just put a hand up, don't look at them, keep walking, show interest elsewhere but no one listened. So I would, with amusement, watch a vendor who tried to harass me move on to someone else and would literally follow them down streets.

My roomie keeps wanting to stop and take pictures of the street kids, they are cute and it is sad, but I have no desire to take pictures of them. To me, that is not India. It's a big part of India but I saw so much more in the people and in the city.

This city seems so alive on so many levels. Street corners have religious alters, people will stop in the midst of their daily lives and show respect or maybe ask for guidance.... who knows. You see men shaving men on the street and cloths are strung out to dry inches above your head. It's a merge of the old and new and it's hard to tell which is winning when you are avoiding cows on a busy city street.

Yes, there is trash everywhere but I notice that they are trying to clean up and cart it off. I saw men cutting grass between the streets to make it neat, I see people sweeping the side walks in front of their stores or shacks taking such pride in what they do have.

It is a struggle here but everyone seems so positive even when dealing with great adversity. How can you not respect that?! They are not blaming others, they are making the best of the situation and what they have. It is awesome and inspiring!

Destiny

2010-08-17T15:21:00.001-06:00

We went to Destiny today (2 Aug). It's a transition step from the shelters. Woman make cloth products (bags, blankets, wallets, etc.) along with jewelry and other things. Everything sewned is done with foot powered sewing machines!

I bought a blanket and a purse here, so I'll be happy to show you them! :D

Taking the taxi to Destiny there was some major traffic (big surprise). They actually turn off their cars when sitting in traffic. The first couple of times it was a little bit freaky but by the end of the two weeks, it was like a hint to take a quick nap :P Anyway, the taxi driver actually told us to get out and walk! We had NO idea where we were. Coleen had her phone so we were calling Paul and Sally and slowly walking in the direction that the taxi guy was taking us. We ended up stopping by a gas station, a very identifiable land mark and Sally came and found us.

Once we all got settled, we shopped and then tea :)

We then talked story, or actually listened. We had the Destiny ladies come in and we heard from Doel, one of our translators, she is a college grad and is more western in her ways. We also heard from Soma who is the other extreme, she is from a village, married, kids, works her butt off and cares for everyone else before even taking time for herself (that is if she even gets time for herself). Both women were amazing in their own way. Both are fighting for women's rights. Soma has gotten the women of her village to donate some money every month so they could send a girl from their village to school. Females are usually jipped when it comes to education, some families don't see the point in funding the education past a certain grade. I can't remember which one said this but I thought it was very descriptive of where women are in India, "Women run India but the men make the rules". Unfortunately, women are not listened to and there is no real communication between the two... the country is hindered by this lack of communication.

What struck me today listening to the women is their unity. We in American are such individuals that we have lost sight of the power of a group, of supporting one another to prosper together. Why do we, as individualist, have such problems with understanding the idea of when you help raise others to greatness you also raise yourself up. Sitting there, listening to the women I was just showered in this collect group unity. It was amazing.

First full day in India

2010-08-17T07:11:00.000-06:00

I'm tired, yet excited to be in India. I was stoked to figure out the hot water heater! CHEESE!!!!

We were woken up by room service calling us to see if we wanted breakfast. We quickly ordered toast with butter and jam and coffee. we pretty much ordered the same thing every morning and EVERY morning was different: it went from 4 pieces of toast to 2 back to 4, 2 trays to 1 tray, one day jam no butter, sometimes butter no jam, coffee was one cravat but having to get us 2 every morning they finally brought up 2 the first time. The coffee was instant and it was served with hot milk so at least it was creamy, I just had to add a packet of sugar and I was good to go (after 2 cups of course).

After we were all cleaned up we went down to figure out the internet (free WiFi-WHOOHOO) and also get the room numbers for everyone else. We started knocking on doors. We didn't want to hang out in our rooms, we're in INDIA it's time to explore!!! We woke up some folks (sorry) but we managed to gather up some folks. By 1130 we were off, we had about a group of 5.

A lot of street vendors. Little did I know that most of the street vendors are closed on Sundays so technically the streets were quiet this first day!

We eventually came across everyone else, at the ATM no less. They were off to the mall so we joined them. Before going inside of the mall we had our bags searched, and if we had cameras (we all did) we had to take a picture outside of the mall and show that it worked before walking through a metal detector :P

Yep my camera works!

Half of the group got cell phones. I wasn't inside the store when they went through that adventure, I watched through the window. Talk about paperwork! Copies of passports, signing away your first born... it was VERY time consuming. After that we were all hungry so we got some munchies and the shopping (one of my least favorite things to do). I didn't buy anything that day.

Soon it was time for dinner, we ate at a Chinese restaurant at the mall. Oh, after we got off the plane and Coleen introduced herself she made it clear it was her birthday! So our first full day in India, it's my roomie's birthday and in India it was Friendship Day (you buy your friends cheap stuff).

Oh! India

2010-08-17T06:45:00.001-06:00

Some of the pics I will be using through out the next few blogs are from other people's stash. We were all taking pics and I wasn't about to stand and take the same picture that someone else just did. I will try and point out that they are someone else's talented photos when I can :D

On the way to India (30 July-31 July)
Today I fly out to India. My bags are checked, now I sit and wait for my flight to San Fran. I tried to get rupees at the money exchange... this is how THAT went,
"Can I get some rupees here?"
"Um... what country is that?"
"India"
"Uh... we don't keep that on hand."
International airport my ass! LOL Hopefully I'll have better luck in San Fran (I didn't and wasn't able to get any in Germany either! Thank goodness for ATMS)

I sat next to a firefighter from SLC to San Fran. It's amazing how much you can have in common with a complete stranger. Both of us were in the AF, spent time in Okinawa.... it was a good conversation. He worked in the jails now and according to him it isn't as bad as they portray on the T.V. shows. They go a couple of years without any problems and then BAM.... like an earthquake. Then tension builds up and then there is a release.
From San Fran to Germany I sat next to an older couple who were going to their son's wedding. Mom pointed out that he was 40 and getting married for the first time. They were only spending about 4 maybe 5 days there! So not enough time for a first visit anywhere, let alone Germany. All that flying for just a short visit. Hope they enjoyed it.
From Germany to India there were no conversations but that was o.k., I slept a lot. The food was Indian and so far so good. I enjoyed it and even opted for the vegetarian plates, YUM. They did give a breath mint package, little bits of stuff, I tried it and it was black liquorice YUCK! We got off the plane and were hanging out on the tarmac waiting for buses. India at 1130 pm is hot, humid, wet, sticky.....
Coleen came up to me and asked "Are you from TEN, Made By Survivors" I was and met the rest of the folks that flew in with me.
Waiting on our luggage at the carousel I saw a random cat strolling through the airport, welcoming committee maybe? Not too friendly though.
Paul and some others were outside waiting on us. We loaded up 3 taxis and we were on our way.
I'm so glad we got here in the middle of the night. It's not so crazy, not a lot of traffic and people. Made the transition a little less shocking.
First Impressions:
- not stinky (there were more stinky people on the plane but that's to be expected with long flights.... to an EXTENT)
- a mix between Turkey and the Philippines-the infrastructure is there but ghetto or incomplete
- driving rules are "recommended" (I never figured out what the driving rules were, even after 2 weeks)
-hotel is nice, the bare necessities. it took me 24 hrs to figure out what and where the hot water was to turn it on :P
-marble floors everywhere

Our hotel, notice AC available! Thank Goodness for that :D

Our "view"

Our bathroom, it's just one big shower...no divider or curtain

The hot water heater and YES it's as small as it looks!

India, an assault on my senses

2010-08-16T21:08:00.000-06:00

I got back from Kolkata yesterday afternoon. The goal was to stay awake till about 8 but I passed out around 6 and then was up at midnight. I had some dinner and a sleeping pill and was out till 8:30. Made it through today with no naps but I am so looking forward to going to bed ;)

India was amazing. I was assaulted visually trying to soak in all I could about my surrounds while I was there. Peace and quiet was hard to come by in the city. We had one afternoon in the botanical gardens which was lovely. The air was so thick, you step out of the the hotel room and it was like stepping into a sauna. It didn't matter what you did, just standing outside you got sweaty and sticky. The food was spicy, and interesting. I realized that I could easily be a vegetarian with the way they fixed food. It was an emotional roller coaster, in between working at the shelters and the group dynamics of over 10 women I hit probably all the emotions that I could :P

I wrote in a journal while I was there and I am going to transfer it to the blog... just not tonight. I'm still tired and I've been talking with friends and family telling them all about the trip. I'll be able to post the pictures that I took but the pictures taken at the shelters can not be posted here to protect the girls. But, if I'm at your house or you visit me (whoever reads my blog) I can personally show you the pictures that were taken at the shelters and there were A LOT! The girls were absolutely amazing and beautiful. If there was any question about the strength of the human spirit, there is no question now. With love, respect, support, and open arms anything can be survived.

Allow yourself to be challenged...

2010-07-27T15:33:00.000-06:00

On Friday I leave for Kolkata. I'm nervous and excited. I will see things and do things I never thought I'd do. I will come back a changed person, a better person.

One of my teachers at HPU on the first day of class had us stand up (if we wanted) and give everyone in the class permission to challenge us, to question us, to make us rethink our views and beliefs, to make us grow. I've carried that with me, and now I don't wait for others to challenge me but I now challenge myself.

Months ago on Facebook I saw a post asking for volunteers from Made By Survivors to go to India to work in the shelters for two weeks. On a whim I volunteered, not really expecting to be one of the lucky few that was selected. After some references and some review I was accepted! I was shocked, thrilled, and scared all at once. My main scare, and still is, is doing a craft with the kids. I'm going to make melt and pour soap with them. But I am forcing myself to let go of that stress, things will work out. I can only do so much. Other than my craft project we are going to assist where we are needed doing whatever.

I've talked about this trip before but just in case it was missed these shelters are for women and children that have been victims of human trafficking. It is reported that there are more slaves NOW than there was back during the slave trade. Some of these chidren have been born in brothels and still live there. These shelters get them out of that environment. The women are taught a trade so that they can be economically independent.

The founder of Made By Survivors was on Rosie talk radio. Take a listen for a better understanding. This is a global problem and it's not going away.

For those that know me, since May there have been many changes to my life. I graduated from college with my BA in Social Science, within a week I was traveling with my Mom and 3 dogs to Missouri to visit family. I then took a side trip up to PA to visit friends before going back to MO and then on to CA to pick up my car, visit family in L.A. and then drive (with a stop in Vegas) to Salt Lake City Utah. I finished my "move" to Utah on 22 June and since then I've been looking for a job and doing some work days with my Air National Guard unit.

Now, in a matter of days I will be in India. After some drama, and near heart attacks I have my passport and visa. I have two suitcases, one will be filled with donations and stuff for the soap making... the other for me :) I have a journal to write in (which I'll repost when I return) about my travels, I have my iPad for books, and if I need a quick diversion for the kids ;) I have snacks, Imodium, sleeping pills, and a mosquito net along with plenty of bug repellent.

Am I ready to go? I haven't even packed yet.

My flight there will take about 24 hrs and 19 minutes. I will go from here to San Fran, to Germany, then to India. My trip back will be about 32 hrs and 31 minutes. From India I go to New Jersey to Chicago and then Utah. I will leaving India on my 34th birthday, and I will spend my birthday on a plane. I can only imagine what I will be feeling when I'm flying home. Who knows what will be running through my head or if I will just be so exhausted mentally and physically that I just sleep away the plane ride.

I look forward to meeting and working with the other volunteers. I look forward to the challenges that are ahead of me, and I really look forward to making a difference in other people's lives.

Namaste

Lazy Sunday Afternoon

2010-07-18T13:35:00.000-06:00

Three day weekends are the best! I spent Friday being productive. I applied for some more jobs, did laundry, and cleaned up my room before meeting up with Amanda for dinner. We stopped at the bx on base and they were having a tast testing! We had about 2-3 shots of liquor :P We could of had more but we were being good :P We both bought a bottle of vodka though :) Checked out the Clearfield farmer's market. I'm assuming they are just getting started, out of the 10 or so booths only one of them was actually selling produce. Stopped at the in-laws before having dinner at the Village Green. I was surprised at this place. Walking up to it, I won't lie... it looks shady. It has one of those doors with the little window in the front, the kind that are used in old bars that only the bikers and locals brave. Once you step in... Hello! It's big and the back wall is nothing but windows that over look a pond. Very peaceful and pretty. Apparently they have a live band there on some nights (not when we were there) and maybe dinner theatre?! Which would be an awesome thing to do. The food was also a surprise! Very full of flavor! I will definatly have no problem going back there.

Saturday I went and pick up some more donations from a friend for India. She has three cute dogs, one is a corgi with similar coloring to Sami :( Corgi's definatly have their "things" that they do :D Marcia and I did a lot of running around and grabbed some burgers at Five Guys. Awesome! I'm still partial to In-N-Out but this place was great! Fries to die for! It seems like the places that keep it simple, excel at those few things! Why would I ever go buy a hamburger from a fast food joint when I have Five Guys AND In-N-Out here?!

Today is lazy day. We are going to head out to the pool here in a few to soak up some sun. It's just us girls this week (not counting Joe of course). I will be working with my guard unit again this week. I'm hoping everything is fixed in the system so I can get orders cut. Then I have a week off to get ready for India!!!!! I can't believe it's just around the courner! Long airplane rides but it will be an awesome experience.

I have to give myself a pat on the back because I've been working out practically every day! I did take off Friday and today (but I'll probably do some laps at the pool when I'm there). I either run a mile or I do the Wii fit :P I do the yoga and the strength portions. I'm sorry but the push up/plank series is brutal. I do a set of 6 and the computer is like "good job you can do more". So I can do 6 or 20! Really?! What kind of spread is that? It should go from 6 to 10 or maybe 15 but 20?! When I first got here I did the "compute my age" thing with the Wii and I can't recall what I was but it was sort of sad... it said I was older than I am
:( But I did it yesterday and I'm 34 :D Which is pretty true :P

I've gotten a couple of job rejections, the "you're not what we are looking for" sort of thing. This without an interview... so I'm going to revamp/tweet my resume some more. I get so damn inpatient with things sometimes. I'm trying not to get discouraged but some days it's hard. Thank goodness for doing the days with the UTANG. The money is a bonus but it's more beneficial right now for me to feel useful and needed.... it keeps the spirits high!

Finally :D

2010-07-11T20:36:00.000-06:00

I had my first drill weekend with the Utah Air National Guard, the UTANG... say it, it's fun :D Anyhoo...everyone has been really friendly and I've seen many familiar faces. I was talking to my Dad about my interactions with people and I said "I don't know if it's me or it's just how they roll... but I feel really good about the folks that I'll be working with" Granted there will be issues, there always are but I feel good about everything. I told Dad that I think it does have a lot to do with me, I'm more open to others, less worried about what people think or say, and am just happy-that shows and people respond to it. Dad said it is me. He said that I've gotten more confident, and I'm more comfortable in my skin! FINALLY!!! :D I'm only turning 34 next month :P
Don't get me wrong. I still have my days, my fleeting thoughts of worry and negativity but that are far and few in between and when they do arise I can easily push them aside!

THREE WEEKS AND I'LL BE IN INDIA!!!!!!

Verbage

2010-07-09T13:27:00.000-06:00

It's funny when you travel and live in different places how the little things, like how people use words, stand out.
On Oahu when you use "town" you are talking about Honolulu. Everyone understood that, townies lived in Honolulu/Waikiki.
Stopping in Missouri, town is used to describe the closest "town" which has the basic amenities (gas, food, etc) so that town could only have a population of a couple hundred.
Now in Utah I've realized that town does not mean the largest town in the area (Salt Lake City). I was talking to someone and mentioned that wherever I get a job...on base or not, I'm going to live in town. I was looked at a little weird and then the reply "you mean SLC?". So now I know I have to say SLC or town could represent anything. Also the street thing that annoyed me before, is something I have to adapt to AGAIN. Streets around here are on a number system. The exit to go to Sandy is 9000th but you don't say that! You say 90th street!

As for the job update. I've applied to 10 jobs and only 1 is a definite no. I know I have at least 4 that have passed the first screening and are getting reviewed at the HR departments. The email stated that it could take a few weeks before they start making calls. I'll be in India :( I'll put an out of office assist on my email and and out of town on my phone and pray that this trip won't hinder my job applications.

India is just a few weeks away! I'm excited and nervous!

Missing my little girl :(

2010-07-07T09:24:00.000-06:00

Walking this morning with Marcia it hit me.... I miss my Sami girl :( I knew I would, it's only natural. But for folks that don't have kids, dogs are usually the "go to" or "relate to" thing for conversations. Joe and Gretchen are sweeties and good dogs but it doesn't matter... I miss Sami.
Sami has a great personality. I put that on my parents (who she's spent a lot of time with her) and of course me :D Maybe once I get settled I'll revisit the bringing Sami back here decision. Who knows. Everyone else's dogs are wonderful and I love having animals around, but it's not like your own.
But knowing me.... I'll feel selfish for taking her away from her doggie sisters and the yard and life she has now :( Who knows what the future holds....

4th of July

2010-07-06T14:59:00.000-06:00

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!

This is actually my third fourth of July with Marcia and David, but it's my first without a date! LOL Marcia pointed that out and we had a good laugh.

The day itself was a lazy, get ready for the party sort of day. One of the folks coming over was doing the major cooking. So other than appetizers, getting the place ready, and games figured out we had it easy. We even got some festive stuff for drinks... other than the classic bucket o' beer.

By the end of the night... this drink station wasn't so neat :D

The main dish was a Louisiana fish fry, but we started off with some good ol spicy shrimp, corn, sausages.... IT WAS SO GOOD!

Here's the AWESOME fish! Finger licking, mouth tingling GOODNESS!

I'm still getting use to my new camera so some of the pics didn't turn out :( We played a cucumber passing game, and also a game that required whip cream and bubble gum! It was fun. Of course the night ended with fireworks.

Here is Joe, and the new boxer addition Gretchen. Yes, she is a tad older than Joe but they are good together :D

Trying to get on a schedule... it's not working :(

2010-07-02T08:55:00.000-06:00

Well, I've been in Utah for about a week. I've applied for 6 jobs that should be closing soon so hopefully I'll get some call backs! We shall see....

I've been trying to get on some sort of schedule. My "job" is to find a job. So I get up at 7 (I'm thinking I'm going to move that up), work out, get coffee, shower and get on with the job hunting. It doesn't help that I got here right before a major holiday or that Marcia and David have a friend from Brazil that is visiting this week. The other night we were up past 2, and it was in the middle of the week!!!! I did sleep in the next day but it made it hard to get up this morning to go walk the 2 miles that I'm going to work up to running :( Marcia and I took the dogs for this walk. It was already getting hot, but the mountains are just awesome AND there is still patches of snow on them :) Wherever I live there has to be some major nature to look at.... ocean, mountains, lake, etc. I can't handle the flat areas :( I had to chuckle while we were walking-we pasted two women who had McD's cups. Really?! You're out on an exercise walk and stop at McD's?! I guess that's better than nothing but I know when I work out the last thing I want is some freakn' fast food.

The Brazilian that is here is hard to understand at times. But it seems the more you drink, the easier it is! LOL Granted his broken English can come off as him barking orders to me at times, but I'm telling myself it's due to his lack of English. I was told/asked to turn on the t.v. this morning. This was before coffee or exercise so for those that know me.... not a good combo!

Last night I took the Traxs into town to meet up with Amanda and Dave. They do free jazz at the Gateway every Thursday night. I love not having to worry about parking and it's cheap and easy :) The jazz was wonderful. We found a patch of grass, sat and chatted and just enjoyed the evening. I couldn't ask for anything more!

Public transit is a wonderful thing! I love hearing random conversations. While waiting for the trax there was a young girl who looked like she would be at home in a library with another young couple. This "librarian" was talking about how she and her boyfriend don't celebrate anniversaries (this other couple did) and that they didn't even exchange gifts for Xmas. As a matter of fact she was more bummed that she was in jail for Vday than Xmas!!!! Yes, she was in jail for a wee bit and I was very curious to know why but that was not mentioned :( Coming back home an older Hispanic man sat next to me. He then says something to me in Spanish. "excuse me" I say and he repeats in Spanish. "I'm sorry I don't understand". He said he thought I spoke Spanish and then I noticed that he looked at my arm. Yes I'm dark and I love being mistaken for other nationalities... maybe I should learn another language :D Add that to my "to do" list.

Well, my day is getting away from me. Off to job hunting.

Vacation Hangover

2010-06-27T15:29:00.000-06:00

I've thought about blogging... and well that's as far as it went. So this is a little behind the times...

Picking up the car in San Diego went smoothly and Amanda and I stayed in San Diego one night so we didn't have to deal with the traffic between there and L.A. It was a good idea and I couldn't really argue with her reasoning :) We went and checked out the Seaport Village shopping center and had dinner on the water! It was very nice. We then walked around a little bit more, saw the Midway (but didn't go on it). It was relaxing and very pretty!

The next day we slowly made our way to Diamond Bar where my Aunt lives.

We stopped in La Jolla so we could put our feet in the sand, and it was full of life too :D Bonus for us!!!

It was good to see my family in California. I don't get to spend a lot of time with them so it was very nice to see everyone. Now that we are closer, it's something I need to do more of! We stayed there one night and then it was off to Vegas!

It was an awesome couple of days and then off to Utah! It does feel good being back here, but then ask me again come winter time ;) I've been applying for jobs and just getting settled. I did check out the SLC Art Festival the other day.... awesome, and good wine! I'm getting everything in order for my India trip in a month. Can't wait for that awesomeness!

After all my traveling once I got here I felt like I just needed to do do do and get a job! Granted I DO need a job but I can only do so much. I've already applied to 4 jobs and I haven't even been here a week yet so that's good. I'll just keep on with that I'm everything will work out as it should :) I need to stay busy in order not to get into a funk, which almost happend (thus the vacation hangover)... but I'm doing better now. Just keep reminding myself I can do only so much, to enjoy this moment, and be open to what is around me! It makes for a happier ME!

On the road again... more good-byes

2010-06-16T21:26:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow I'm off to San Diego to pick up my car, meet up with Amanda, drive about an hour and a half to L.A. to spend some time with some more family :) After a couple of days in L.A., we're off to Vegas for a couple of days! On Monday I will finally be in Utah. This adventure started on 22 May! I'm so tired of the suitcase living :( I'm ready for employment and my own place!
I'm not looking forward to tomorrow. I'll have to say good bye to Mom and to Sami. Even though Sami has been staying with Mom and Dad while in Hawaii, she was always there... a quick ride to the north shore. Now... I'll have to settle with pictures. This evening I told Sami and my Mom that she'll be happier with them, Mom said "keep telling yourself that". Maybe when I get my own place I can steal her back...
Sometimes it really sucks being an adult :( Good thing I know a lot of dog people in Utah, I can get my animal "fix" but no one can replace my Sami girl :P

My Rough Draft

A little catch up on a rainy day

Quick Catch Up

It's the month of the dead!

September = Busy Month

Back to Ohio.....

Mini Vaca!

My Secret Talent

You're IT!

day by day

day by day

team player

a little too much

da job

Depression

*warning* venting ahead

New job.... two weeks ago

Easter

Google yourself!

Riddle me this....

Aaaah Spring

Holi Festival

random 5am and I'm wide awake

found

Back to me

Furniture Assembly

Making the Leap

"What the hell" visit from my Mom!

... from Love to Shamrocks :)

Random apartment stuff

New place

The Purge

Signed sealed....and almost delivered!

Apartment hunting

Good bye 2010!

I Give Up!

6,7,8

Five

Τέσσερα (four in Greek)

Drei

#2

Here we go!

30 Days of Blogging...

So far so good...

I HAVE A JOB!

Where did October go?!

BOO!

Busy time but lovin' it

Job update

Love my guy friends

Paying Respect

Product testing

Just a girl

Temp Job

My Military Life

Labor Day Luau

My Bday post...last day in India

Movie and jewelry making

Compliments go a long way :D

Better Day at CCH but left frustrated

Child Care Home

Crazy traffic, temple, bored security, and botanical garden

Dead Chickens, TB, and site seeing

Last Day at Nijoloy

4 Aug-Day 2 at Nijoloy

1st Day at Nijoloy

Destiny

First full day in India

Oh! India

India, an assault on my senses

Allow yourself to be challenged...

Lazy Sunday Afternoon

Finally :D

Verbage

Missing my little girl :(

4th of July

Trying to get on a schedule... it's not working :(

Vacation Hangover

On the road again... more good-byes

warning venting ahead